Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want Porn Star Martinis to be renamed?

127 replies

samarrange · 04/04/2025 15:12

I don't think I'm a prude, but I feel a bit self-conscious ordering "A porn star martini, please". It's a shame because I quite like them.

We went into a "family-friendly" bar from a chain called "The Lounges" (every one has a different name, like Albero Lounge, Edmundo Lounge, etc) and on the menu there it says "Passion Fruit Martini... a cocktail fit for a movie star", which nicely conveys the idea without everyone having to explain to their curious 7-year-old reading the menu what a porn star is.

(The same chain has also renamed Sex On The Beach" to "Lounge On The Beach"... that one wouldn't put me off so much in the original form, but I don't like peach flavour drinks anyway 😂.)

OP posts:
BeaAndBen · 04/04/2025 18:25

IntermittentFarting · 04/04/2025 18:23

Really, if porn is the first thing that comes to mind for someone on hearing the word “passion” then I’d wager they were a grubby little incel.

Theres nothing passionate or starry about a poor (literally), trafficked woman being forced into sex work.

Show quote history

See “Slow Comfortable Screw” etc in a previous post - any excuse for an entendre in a cocktail name!

OverdueBooks · 04/04/2025 18:50

I'm with you OP for all previously mentioned reasons. It definitely shouldn't be listed on a food menu in a place with children.

Maybe it's my age but I haven't got the patience for 'hilarious' jokes about sex and double entendres these days (probably heard them all before) and I particularly hate people putting a sexual spin on things you've inadvertently said.

I don't mind a quick acknowledgement and a wee giggle but some people [not just men] really make a meal of it, it takes ages to get back to the point and I just find it tiresome. You know what I meant, can we just move on with the actual conversation?

I remember a Uni friend whose Dad was Dutch saying that in the Netherlands, nobody joked about sex.Thet were obviously very open and comfortable talking about it but they just didn't find it funny and found British jokes about it weird.

If it's still the case over there, maybe it's time for me to move there!

WhySoManySocks · 04/04/2025 18:53

GroovyChick87 · 04/04/2025 15:17

I can't say it bothers me. In lots of places they are called passion fruit martini anyway. What about sex on the beach and screaming orgasm?

Edited

I morally approve of sex and orgasms, but not porn.

SmoothEncounter · 04/04/2025 19:09

GroovyChick87 · 04/04/2025 16:08

It's a passionfruit, not a fig and did she ask?

Show quote history

@GroovyChick87well he made it with a fig and used it to sexually intimidate my friend. No she didn’t ask, nice bit of victim blaming there she wasn’t wearing a low cut top either in case you’d like to go down that route too. HmmHmmHmm

Somethingthecatdraggedin7 · 04/04/2025 19:12

I think it says a lot about anyone who orders such a drink.

Original poster
samarrange · 04/04/2025 19:39

Happyinarcon · 04/04/2025 17:25

@housethatbuiltme
We should all be frankly mature enough to not blush at the concept of intercourse being merely mentioned

It’s everywhere though, song lyrics that are awful, makeup names that are ridiculously and needlessly sexual, comedy chat shows that just wind up crude and embarrassing, adverts that are full of dreary innuendo, sex toy ads popping up on news websites... When is it ok for women to say they are uncomfortable with it all? Women are being told to speak their mind except when it comes to public levels of decency and then they are told to shut up.

sex toy ads popping up on news websites

Website ads are served by external companies who try to build up an idea of what a person is shopping for, based on their cookies and web search/browsing history (and, apocryphally, listening to their phone). While it's possible for any given organisation to say "We do not ever, ever, ever want ads for product X to appear on our site", it's quite rare, and quite hard to enforce across all the myriad subcontractors and agencies. I suspect that many Mumsnet users get sex toy ads even though they have never actually searched for sex toys.

OP posts:
mydogfarts · 04/04/2025 19:49

housethatbuiltme · 04/04/2025 17:11

Car Bomb is named as mockery based in ignorance and racism.

It's not remotely the same as someone clutching pearls over words like 'porn', 'sex' or 'orgasm' being used on something only served to adults. We should all be frankly mature enough to not blush at the concept of intercourse being merely mentioned.

I find it far more weird that OP thinks its normal to be sitting necking cocktails during the day with her young children present in a family establishment rather than what its named. What in the middle class suburbia is it where thats not the embarrassing part but saying 'porn' is?

Even if my littlest kid did over hear it somewhere family friendly in the middle of the day and asked I would probably just deflect with a 'oh, I think its a type of chess piece, do you know the game chess?' simple slide and change of subject.

Show quote history

The only time I have ever had a car bomb cocktail was when an Irish friend, over for a visit, ordered a whole round of them ...

Agree with you that I find the idea of drinking around young. children quite odd though. For me it's a "child free evening" thing so it never crossed my mind to wonder about how child friendly or otherwise the names of cocktails are.

Lottapianos · 04/04/2025 19:51

'The only time I have ever had a car bomb cocktail was when an Irish friend, over for a visit, ordered a whole round of them'

Well some Irish people are insensitive twerps with no taste. Irish person here

Fancycheese · 04/04/2025 19:55

Somethingthecatdraggedin7 · 04/04/2025 19:12

I think it says a lot about anyone who orders such a drink.

Such as?

Fancycheese · 04/04/2025 19:57

And agree with PP that drinking porn star martinis with kids around is an odd thing to do. Which kid friendly places are you going to that sell them? I’ve only seen them in slightly dodgy cocktail bars. They are a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine though.

just ask for a passion fruit martini and be done with it if you feel the need to drink cocktails in front of children.

SunsetCocktails · 04/04/2025 19:58

Somethingthecatdraggedin7 · 04/04/2025 19:12

I think it says a lot about anyone who orders such a drink.

Yes. It says I like vodka, passion fruit and lime juice.

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 04/04/2025 19:59

Somethingthecatdraggedin7 · 04/04/2025 19:12

I think it says a lot about anyone who orders such a drink.

And what would that be?
That they like passion fruit and vanilla flavoured cocktails?! 🤷🏼‍♀️

SunsetCocktails · 04/04/2025 20:02

Fancycheese · 04/04/2025 19:57

And agree with PP that drinking porn star martinis with kids around is an odd thing to do. Which kid friendly places are you going to that sell them? I’ve only seen them in slightly dodgy cocktail bars. They are a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine though.

just ask for a passion fruit martini and be done with it if you feel the need to drink cocktails in front of children.

Dodgy cocktail bars?! I’ve had them in restaurants, family friendly pubs, and even Wetherspoons (although not sure their fruit juice concoction can actually be classed as a pornstar).

Also, the people on here who think it’s horrifying to drink a cocktail around your kids, yet probably don’t bat an eyelid at necking a bottle of wine in front of them.

WonderingWanda · 04/04/2025 20:05

Just have a mojito....far nicer 😉

Although I do agree, tacky name which needs to go.

SassySusie · 04/04/2025 20:07

I live porn stars. What do people feel about sex the beach?

Fancycheese · 04/04/2025 20:10

SunsetCocktails · 04/04/2025 20:02

Dodgy cocktail bars?! I’ve had them in restaurants, family friendly pubs, and even Wetherspoons (although not sure their fruit juice concoction can actually be classed as a pornstar).

Also, the people on here who think it’s horrifying to drink a cocktail around your kids, yet probably don’t bat an eyelid at necking a bottle of wine in front of them.

Show quote history

No. To be clear, equally as bad. Nice try though.

And yes. Dodgy cocktail bars such as All Bar One and Vodka revs. Hen do central.

LadeOde · 04/04/2025 20:11

Since when did being an 'adult' mean you're up for anything tacky and sleezy that glorifies porn? because that's what these names are. I don't want to ask the bar tender for a 'Screw up the wall' on whatever the hell its called, i just want to order a simple drink. Keep the sex talk private.

Original poster
samarrange · 04/04/2025 20:14

Fancycheese · 04/04/2025 19:57

And agree with PP that drinking porn star martinis with kids around is an odd thing to do. Which kid friendly places are you going to that sell them? I’ve only seen them in slightly dodgy cocktail bars. They are a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine though.

just ask for a passion fruit martini and be done with it if you feel the need to drink cocktails in front of children.

Which kid friendly places are you going to that sell them?

It took me one minute on Google to find these places, which all have a "Kids Menu" section and feature Porn Star Martinis with the cocktails. Several of them are part of chains. This is just from the first two pages of the search results.

https://harperssteakhouse.co.uk/
https://www.casamiacaerphilly.co.uk/valentines-menu
https://kisas.co.uk/kisas/
https://zaza.co.uk/menu/
https://absolutebarandbistro.co.uk/
https://thekingstag.uk/autumn-sunday-menu-2/
https://sittingbourne.thelight.co.uk/diner
https://tugrarestaurant.co.uk/category/menu/drinks
https://bamboo-mat.co.uk/stratford-menu/
https://www.crantockbay.co.uk/c-bay-bar-bistro/

Home - Harpers Steakhouse

Quality Steak The Harper's Way

https://harperssteakhouse.co.uk

OP posts:
SunsetCocktails · 04/04/2025 20:18

Fancycheese · 04/04/2025 20:10

No. To be clear, equally as bad. Nice try though.

And yes. Dodgy cocktail bars such as All Bar One and Vodka revs. Hen do central.

Show quote history

Well, I’ve never been in those bars so I wouldn’t know. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But I’ve definitely had plenty of cocktails in other places that aren’t dodgy bars.

FelixLighter · 04/04/2025 20:20

Mielikki · 04/04/2025 15:37

A “family friendly” cocktail lounge sounds dreadful. Cocktail lounges are SUPPOSED to be louche. Otherwise where’s the fun?

I think the places OP is talking about aren’t specifically cocktail bars, they’re a catch all for the brunch crowd, afternoon tea crowd, early dinners as well as the cocktail lovers. So it’s okay for them to serve cocktails or mocktails in a family setting really.

Cosycover · 04/04/2025 20:21

Honestly would love it if such trivial things took up my brain space.

Fancycheese · 04/04/2025 20:27

SunsetCocktails · 04/04/2025 20:18

Well, I’ve never been in those bars so I wouldn’t know. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But I’ve definitely had plenty of cocktails in other places that aren’t dodgy bars.

Show quote history

Me too. Just not pornstar martinis.

Fancycheese · 04/04/2025 20:27

Cosycover · 04/04/2025 20:21

Honestly would love it if such trivial things took up my brain space.

Agreed. I’d also love it if I didn’t need feel the need to respond to such triviality.

CurlewKate · 04/04/2025 20:28

It’s not because kids might hear it that I don’t like it. It’s because it’s in such shit taste.

Fancycheese · 04/04/2025 20:28

samarrange · 04/04/2025 20:14

Which kid friendly places are you going to that sell them?

It took me one minute on Google to find these places, which all have a "Kids Menu" section and feature Porn Star Martinis with the cocktails. Several of them are part of chains. This is just from the first two pages of the search results.

https://harperssteakhouse.co.uk/
https://www.casamiacaerphilly.co.uk/valentines-menu
https://kisas.co.uk/kisas/
https://zaza.co.uk/menu/
https://absolutebarandbistro.co.uk/
https://thekingstag.uk/autumn-sunday-menu-2/
https://sittingbourne.thelight.co.uk/diner
https://tugrarestaurant.co.uk/category/menu/drinks
https://bamboo-mat.co.uk/stratford-menu/
https://www.crantockbay.co.uk/c-bay-bar-bistro/

Show quote history

Can’t say I’ve heard of any of them. But just because they’re on the menu doesn’t mean you need to order them. Or, if you’re so inclined, refer to it as a passion fruit martini. To spare the children.