Loving a day to myself to catch up on work while on holiday with my family

[gmfh]

We are currently away on holidays and I am spending a blissful day in our airbnb by myself just catching up on work. Dh has taken the kids out for the day. It's so lovely not to have the noise, the demands, having to keep everyone happy. And yes, I have to do work - marking at that so not the most fun of jobs. Does anyone else enjoy just getting away from their family while on holidays?

No not really
how old are your kids though? When mine were toddlers, yes it was nice to have an excuse to be alone to go to the supermarket

now - no I don’t hanker to be alone on hol

kids are 5 and 7 so past the toddler stage but honestly between managing the two of them and DH, it's so nice just to get on with my stuff. Maybe am the odd one in feeling this way.

I wouldn’t want a break on holiday, no.

Doing marking of other people’s children’s work whilst on holiday with my own children…I’d feel resentful!

Not to work.

to be fair, it's uni work so a bit more cerebral but at least I dont have two kids constantly moaning at things being the wrong way and Dh constantly snapping and sulking at me.

Oh I do this, and enjoy it. I do genuinely like my job and run a division though so I’m just dipping in to check on things instead of letting my anxiety convince me the place is falling to bits due to things I’ve forgotten to do 😂

Oh so sounds like the problem might be a bit deeper

I wouldn't want to work if I had booked a holiday. But I can understand wanting time alone.

What concerns me most is how you see your spouse as a snapping, sulking problem to be managed or escaped him. Why does he behave like this?

Well catching up on work is the only time I can get a legitimate break. The kids are more moany because of jetlag and as they end up in bed with me while DH sleeps by himself am also a bit touched out with everyone constantly needing something from me.

Exactly

Sounds like the Op would be better off starting a thread in relationships

I can’t imagine this holiday or any holiday being happy

Oh op

no wonder a day working on holiday is preferable to being with your family on holiday

I think it's a great idea. If you have work that must be done then by getting it out of the way, you can enjoy the rest of your holiday without the thought of that work hanging over you. Maybe you can return the favour if your DH would also like some time.
Hope you enjoy your hols.

You and dh both sound a bit burnt out. I might be projecting so maybe he’s just a snappy person. I can see why a peaceful day would appeal but I think it would be more if the kids were off and we were still home. Wanting space to do uni work is very relatable I think people will say they can’t relate because of the holiday bit, not because they wouldn’t ever want that space.

As someone who marks university-level work, I can't think of anything worse to do on holiday. Things must be pretty bad if this is preferable to family time (and it does sound like they are from your updates, so I say this sympathetically).

I’d like to have a break from the kids on holiday if I was in the spa, or reading my book alone by the pool, or having a nice drink and a salad in a beach side restaurant. But working??? On holiday? No way!! I can’t think of anything more depressing. It would put my state of mind back in to work mode and I would just hate that.

Given the updates, they do seem to be pretty bad

But you're not on a legitimate break though - you're working!

I can totally understand having a little break to go to the spa - have a quite solo walk or swim or something - but I would feel annoyed if i had to work on a family holiday.

Honestly if I were your partner I might also feel a bit resentful that you were taking time out of a family break to work.

No, I don't work on holiday. I'm very boundaried between my work and home life so that both my employer and children can get the most of me.

But if it works for you, then that's great. It would stress me out.

I mean to be fair, as an academic most people I know carry on working over their holidays. I have also been able to go away when it was convenient for Dh and the kids - but the trade off is that I have work to do. So it's either doing it in the evening when everyone is gone to bed or having a day off to do it.

And given the type of holiday you describe, I’d be doing anything and very thing to avoid being with my dh

what is your dh like with your kids?

is he sulky because you’re working all day whilst on holiday?

Oh, I don’t know, the odd exam howler can cheer things up. I’m still amused by Virginia Woolf having invented the ‘inferior monologue’.😀

I’m not sure I’d like to work on holiday but I certainly need a break from my very energetic, demanding children! Mine are also 7 & 5 so we go to places with a lot of kids club time 😆 I get to relax then. Maybe even read a book in peace, lovely!

Yes, maybe it's the type of holiday. We travelled to the other side of the world and there is no kids club. It's basically exploring and sightseeing the minute we get up and leave our airbnb....which is great, but does mean that once the kids are up, it's full on. Dh is usually great with the kids, but we have a completely different approach to parenting and clash whenever we do things together. At home, with work and all the clubs, it's usually one in, one out, so in practice we dont spend so much time together as a couple.