Fed up of reading threads asking how they can get out of paying care home fees.

[Nextdoortomeis]

As per the title.
I'm sure lots of people would like the state to pay care home fees.
But we don't live in a fair world.
Both mum and mil paid nearly £70k in fees
yes I didn't want to pay but I also wanted them to get the best care in their later years.

If I get dementia I shall (hopefully) be reliving my youth and hallucinating about boyfriends past.

Alright, I mean I have no idea why you would even know this for a fact (is this information about specific homes even available to the general public?), but okay. That home must be in the tiny majority:

1.3% (197) of care homes had all self-funded residents, accounting for 1.6% of care home beds (7,460).

Source:

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/socialcare/articles/carehomesandestimatingtheselffundingpopulationengland/2022to2023#:~:text=Over%20a%20third%20of%20care,care%20home%20beds%20(7%2C460).

That kind of comment is really unhelpful to anyone watching a loved one go through the horror of this illness.
I know you don't mean anything by it but having been through it comments like if i get that way just shoot me or similar comments are quite upsetting.

The first home my MIL was in only took self funders. We know because we were told by the manager. I had no idea it was classified information!

I'm Scotland but that sounds about right. One that I'm thinking about was probably a 60s built. It was knocked down and a children home put in its place. Council decided they weren't trying to run homes.

I've no idea, but what I do know is that the council didn't make them pay for their fees, none of them, and the house sold at full value with siblings receiving their percentage. I don't know under what circumstances a council (England btw) would do this, perhaps a council employee could comment.

It could be the adult children had bought the house for the parents and it was transfer into their names as soon as possible.

It wasn't that uncommon for younger relatives in the 80s and 90s to buy council houses for parents or grandparents esp if they were just over the threshold for paying full rent. But too old to get a mortgage in their own name and not enough savings to buy outright themselves. But able to get the house at a discount because they'd been renting so long.

But actually you have no real idea what went on in someone else's finances. They might have tons of other debt.

they wouldn't. The only way a charge wouldn't be placed on the house is a) if they had suffered cash savings to cover the fees or b) the LA aren't the ones funding and instead they got CHC funding.

I don't know of a single case where an LA payed fees and DIDN'T put a charge on the house (a charge is basically where the LA loan the client the money and get the loan back when assets are sold - this happens before the benefactors of the will receive anything.

Or c) they didn't own the house.

Yes thank you. Do you?

Don't joke about such things, dementia patients can be very distressed and frightened.

Many MNers are determined to push the narrative that all dementia patients live lives of sheer misery and ought to be euthanised.

I’m so relieved to have seen for myself that this isn’t necessarily the case.

Asking the state to pay your care home fees so that you can pass your money on to your kids is basically just asking other people's kids to pay for you, so you can advantage your own children.

Same.

How? The LA's money can only stretch so far. Something has to give. We have barely scratched the surface when it comes to the impact of those born post war up to 1964 retiring or needing higher levels of support in their latter years. .

Where do you think the money is going to come from to pay for all of these free care homes? The low level of financial literacy in the UK is depressing. .

My friend from the Philippines always says if you have no money you die in the gutter !

Exactly the same place as the UK gets money to treat cancer patients.
Everyone pays into the system Everyone should expect the same level of care regardless of illness.

We shouldn't be operating a system where you pay depending on what your illness is.

Nor we shouldn't be lining the pockets of private care home owners. Care homes should be council or NHS owned.

You don't get free social care if you have cancer or any other physical illness.

Have you ever thought you were lied to?

I used to work for a company as a live in carer usually doing 2 weeks on, two weeks off. So another carer would be doing the opposite 2 weeks. We were well trained and responsible for everything from personal care, medication, housework and meals. We got 2 hours off a day. Of course this is a private company so fairly expensive. As someone who has been dedicated to caring for the elderly for many years I actually really enjoyed it most of the time.

I agree. My mum is state funded but in the same home there are people paying for their own care. They all get treated exactly the same. They have their own rooms with their own furniture and all get the same food and activities as each other. There’s no difference.

My mum wasn’t in a fancy home. We looked at the ones with coffee shops, cinemas and loads of activities but in reality she wouldn’t have been interested/able to use them

she was in a middle of the road home which had exceptionally caring staff and very low staff turnover. Far more important than the shiny things

it was mostly LA-funded residents

MIL is self funding in a nursing home for now til the money runs out.

She is bedbound so has a room. If she was LA funded, she'd also have a room.
Doesn't matter if a home has numerous bells and whistles if you are in bed.

The staff are nice, the place is secure and warm, clean and bright and serves fresh food - that was what made us accept the home. I say accept because that was what happened. No choice (even though self funding).

Nursing home places are not plentiful. Super duper all singing, all dancing care homes, with craft rooms and zoo trips give an unrealistic face to the reality of dementia care. (Those with advanced dementia will live in a room, not a whole home)

Is double incontinence or needing to be kept safe from your own mental decline 'social care'?