My grandparents want to include me in their will. My mother is furious.

[Mammym2807]

My grandparents want to include me into their will, I am 34 with children. My mother who is in her 60's is furious and is demanding all the money go to her.

Is this normal? Should I tell my grandparents to not include me to salvage the family dynamic?

Do not get involved in a row between your mother and her parents.

Keep out of it.
Your grandparents can make their own choices!

I agree with pp. Don’t get involved.

It’s up to your gparents what they do. If I was them and your mum behaved like that, you’d get it all. She sounds horrible.

Your mother is awful.

Your mother sounds entitled. Your grandparents can leave THEIR money to whomever they wish. They should not be broadcasting their will though. Hopefully lesson learned.

This ^

My grandparents keep calling me for advice, I have tried to stay as impartial as possible however it is escalating. I keep saying it's their money and up to them what they decide.

It's your grandparents will and their choice as to who will benefit. You should not turn down their generosity, your mother will just have to accept it.

It's their choice. 🤷‍♀️ I know that my parents are splitting their will equally among DB, my three DC and myself, so I'll get a fifth. That's just how it is. I agree with pp to leave your mother and her parents to argue it out themselves.

Surely that’s perfectly normal? My parents made a modest (10k each) bequest to their 6 grandchildren. Their children received the bulk of the estate. Why on earth would that be unreasonable?

Grandparents should know their DD well enough to have avoided telling her about it.

Tell them you appreciate it so much and that they should will their assets as they choose.

I am guessing it’s not news to you what a nasty piece of work your mother is?

It is perfectly normal for grandparents to include grandchildren in their will. This is your mother's issue keep out of the dispute and accept your inheritance whenever that is given. Hugs

Tell them to go and get their will organised, it can stay private until the time comes to read it, by then they will have sadly died and your mum can huff and puff all she likes it will be a legal binding document.

My GM did it as percentages. Us 5 grandchildren got 10% each, her child then got 50%. Your grandparents should do whatever they want to do with their money. But your mum sounds awful.

Do not discuss it with anyone, OP.
The only mistake your grandparents are making is chatting about who should get what. Ideally, they make their Wills, and nobody knows anything until after the death(s).
But, ultimately, none of us has any right to inherit anything (if we're in England).

Sounds like you're all getting or got better deals than I will! 😅 I'd tell your mother that she should think herself bloody lucky, OP!

Similar thing happened in our family. Quarter of a large ish estate went to the grandchildren (including me). Out of the family only my DF was not happy about it….. stay out of any discussions with any of them if I was you . Let your generous GPs speak to a solicitor and have it drawn up properly.

It’s down to your grandparents. That said I wouldn’t want a relationship if my mother behaved like that.

I think if it's your dm doing all the looking after them, it's a kick in the teeth tbh. My dm makes noises about leaving it all go the gc. The gc have to be forced to visit her. Openly say they can't stand her. They do absolutely nothing to help with her shopping, cleaning, medical appointments, rehab, days out, holidays, gardening, resolving scams, taking back things she's bought in error. The list is endless. If you're a gc who does all that and your dm diesn't fair enough. Otherwise, it's ungrateful.

But you don't say if it's a majority share to you, or a small part. I think that makes a difference.

Wonder if your mother was counting on her inheritance to help her out in her old age. So many women of this age have inadequate pensions . She could also be thinking that any care will be up to her. Have you asked her what her objections are ?

Why are they calling you for advice? They should seek legal advice.

It's a 70/30 split and we share most of the responsibilities, we both do hospital visits, shopping and I do odd bits of housework when I call for a coffee. We just take turns, whoever is free at the time

I think it depends of the total sum of money involved and the percentage you're going to get. It's normal to leave to the next of kin (your DM) and in turn your DM would leave to you.
Are the amounts involved worth 'fighting' over? At the end of the day your DGP's can do what they want.