Would you be comfortable with travel arrangements

[Terribletasteinmen]

Name changed as this is very obviously me to anyone that knows me!

Some background - My exH moved to another European country about 5 years ago, we have a now 15yo DD who lives with me and my DH in the UK. He sees her every 6/8 weeks or so normally. It’s all friendly other than usual ex annoyances!

My DD and her (also 15yo just) friend are joining them on holiday in France in the Summer. This involves a 2 hour train journey from where we live to London, tube to Eurostar, Eurostar to Paris, travel across Paris, then hour and a half train to destination in France.

He thinks they can do this all on their own and I’m babying them saying I’m totally uncomfortable with it. I’m happy to get them to the Eurostar in London if he gets them from Paris (I’m ok with them going on Eurostar on their own). He’s reluctantly agreed but is making me feel I’m being ridiculous / overprotective - at a push I might be ok with the England bit (but as it’s only me inconvenienced by that bit it’s not an issue) but not getting across Paris on their own. It just feels a bit too young still. AIBU?

Your ex is an idiot! He needs a travel plan which can adapt to cover all possible eventualities. There's no way I'd agree to two 15 year olds travelling across Paris to change trains when they'd never done the journey before or didn't feel confident and here we have both reasons for not proceeding.

Tbh, it is kind of an interesting point re school ages. The poster in question used the words primary school to invoke thoughts of a very young child being asked to do something extraordinary. Whereas while it was called primary school wherever they were, that age child would be in secondary school here.

So calling it primary school was wholly irrelevant, it is purely the age that is. At 12 I would expect most kids to be capable of being put on a plane, sitting still in a totally secure environment with plenty of staff around, and then getting off, following a very strict path that you cannot deviate from, collecting their own bags, and then waiting in a set spot for another adult to collect them.

That is very different to negotiating the metro in a fairly gritty city such as Paris, with multiple routes, options, lots of hustle from strangers (airports are far more controlled and secure environments). The OP has said she's happy with them doing the train part etc, which again is fairly controlled. (Less so than a plane, as a train is bigger, with fewer staff, more places for people to get on and off etc.

It's difficult to say one way or the other because all 15yr olds are different. I would absolutely have been very capable of that travel and frequently travelled around the UK. But that doesn't mean your 15yr old should be OK to do it.