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Original poster

Husband never takes photos - is this a common thing

63 replies

Motherof1and2dogs · 31/03/2025 07:12

Not sure if it’s just the pregnancy hormones but I woke up this morning feeling really upset that I didn’t get any photos of me and my 2 year old son yesterday on Mother’s Day, it would have been our last Mother’s Day just us before his baby sister comes along.
To be fair I didn’t ask for my husband to take photos, but me asking is the only way he will take any and sometimes I just feel I shouldn’t have to ask. I just get upset that my camera roll is full of photos of my husband and my son, I take them almost daily, and all mine are just selfies with my son because he doesn’t think to take any of me and my son together, the natural photos are always the best as well! 🥺

Is this just something that men aren’t good at in general? He tells me his brain isn’t wired that way and he doesn’t ever think to take photos, or is that just a poor excuse. I would love to know if this is the same for most.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 31/03/2025 07:13

Yeah, my DH rarely takes photos and it wouldn't occur to him to take one in the situation you're describing.

takeoneback · 31/03/2025 07:14

Yes, it is definitely a thing.

I have thousands of photos; DH barely any in comparison!

LillyPJ · 31/03/2025 07:16

Life doesn't have to be an endless series of photographs! Maybe your husband is enjoying being with his family instead of constantly thinking about poses and photo opportunities. There's a limit to how many photos you can scroll through too. Stop worrying about photos.

UndermyShoeJoe · 31/03/2025 07:16

Yeah and it’s nothing new. Look back at all the family photos over generations and often mum will be in few as it tends to be mums taking the photos. A video popped up on my Facebook yesterday someone had shared to basically her child that just because she isn’t in the photos it doesn’t mean she wasn’t there it’s just she was the one taking the photos the person pushing the pram the one prepping the party food at the party.

WombatStewForTea · 31/03/2025 07:16

Yeh very common. I mentioned it to mine and he did make an effort to start taking more. It's just a shame he has a knack for taking very unflattering photos 🤣

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 31/03/2025 07:17

Neither DH or I are big into taking photos, I guess we are live for the moment kind of people unless it’s a nice view or something, but pictures of family and people we know or each other we don’t really bother.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 31/03/2025 07:17

Yes. I have got upset at various points over the lack of photos of me and my children.

Agix · 31/03/2025 07:18

My partner is the same... Until he spots a good shot. He used to do landscape and urban photography, so I have a few far off arty shots of my butt walking through fields or by buildings (all taken without my knowledge, they're very nice actually), but none of friends, family, pets, us etc!

Mobilephonewithcsi · 31/03/2025 07:18

I whip my camera out for every thing!!!

My dh just not so inclined - just doesn’t think that way.

but he’ll happily oblige if I hand the phone to him and say ‘do a pic of me and the boy’.

I never expect mine to spontaneously take pics - he’s just not into pics in the way I am - but he takes great ones when asked.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 31/03/2025 07:19

I never take photos.

Original poster
Motherof1and2dogs · 31/03/2025 07:19

@LillyPJ this is very true! I think it’s just because I was bought up with tons and tons of photos albums which captured my childhood memories which I enjoy flicking through every now and then and I feel I need to do the same for my children as well as myself. I am very sentimental!

OP posts:
Iknowaboutpopular · 31/03/2025 07:20

Yeah, it's always me taking the photos.
And I think historically, it's women who do this. Men just don't even think about it, unless it's a specific hobby of theirs.
Just ask your husband to take a photo of you and your child next time.

PermanentTemporary · 31/03/2025 07:20

I'm perhaps unusual in that I don't take that many pictures and don't much like other people doing it, though I've got better with it over the years. I also rarely look at our photo albums. To me it's a disruptive thing to do that stops people behaving naturally, and I especially hate seeing children stopping being involved with what they are doing and thinking about being looked at - it's not just 'social media' that makes kids insecure about their looks. So I'm with your husband, amd honestly would be completely thrown if someone complained they'd had a nice day but there weren't enough pictures of it. Could you try and accept that it's not as important to him?

DivergentTris · 31/03/2025 07:22

I'm more bothered about savouring and enjoying the moment. Compared to many people, there are virtually no photos of my kids and me, but I still have very happy memories.

bigcushionlover · 31/03/2025 07:23

Dh is the photo snapper in our house. I don't think he's getting upset about me not being that interested.

GreyCarpet · 31/03/2025 07:24

My partner and I have been together for around 3 and a half years.

He's a big photo taker. I don't think I've ever taken a photo of him unless it was so he could see his hair from the back! It just doesn't occur to me.

I also hate having my photo taken so he has several photos of me from the first 18 months - most of which I'm covering my face in somehow. And nothing since.

His camera roll is full though because he takes photos of everyone and everything else.

It's not a man thing, no. It's a big deal for some people and not at all for others. If you want him to take a photo of you and your son, just tell him.

PurpleThistle7 · 31/03/2025 07:24

My husband rarely thinks to take any pictures. I love photos and have to really stop myself taking more. I get a selfie with my kids if there’s something I really want to remember

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 31/03/2025 07:24

Iknowaboutpopular · 31/03/2025 07:20

Yeah, it's always me taking the photos.
And I think historically, it's women who do this. Men just don't even think about it, unless it's a specific hobby of theirs.
Just ask your husband to take a photo of you and your child next time.

this.

It’s another thing men don’t think about and if they remember one time they are “good husbands and not part of the problem”
this never ending task is just another small crumb of the mental load boulder women carry.

mine has I think cracked it as for 3 years I say “okay can you take a few of me please and WhatsApp them to me straight after so I actually get to see them and maybe print a couple”

I honestly didn’t realise societal misogyny was such an issue until my first child had exited my body at which point I felt I was living in some sort of parallel universe.

Original poster
Motherof1and2dogs · 31/03/2025 07:25

@PermanentTemporary I don’t actually upload on social media at all, I have never posted my son on my instagram and I haven’t uploaded a photo since he was born which his face is covered up anyway, my aim is to have lots and lots of photos albums with all the photos printed out, just like my childhood 🥹 but I get upset that I’m hardly in any of them. And I 100% prefer natural over posed, I hate posing! All the ones of my son and husband are of them two playing together etc.

OP posts:
PuzzleFrog · 31/03/2025 07:26

Nothing to do with being a man or a woman. In our house DH is the big photo taker.

helpfulperson · 31/03/2025 07:30

I rarely take photos. I've been on holidays where i've taken 3 or 4 and that is normally of something like a piece of art or a building where I want to remind myself to find out more about it.

Iknowaboutpopular · 31/03/2025 07:31

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 31/03/2025 07:24

this.

It’s another thing men don’t think about and if they remember one time they are “good husbands and not part of the problem”
this never ending task is just another small crumb of the mental load boulder women carry.

mine has I think cracked it as for 3 years I say “okay can you take a few of me please and WhatsApp them to me straight after so I actually get to see them and maybe print a couple”

I honestly didn’t realise societal misogyny was such an issue until my first child had exited my body at which point I felt I was living in some sort of parallel universe.

Edited
Show quote history

Am I imagining that there was an advert one year on the tv about mums being behind the photos, not in them?

ManyATrueWord · 31/03/2025 07:41

Yes. This is why selfies are great, it means women can include themselves in the photographic record without asking for permission from a man.

Chiseltip · 31/03/2025 07:43

Why are you expecting a man to think like a woman?

If you want a photo, take a photo.

GreyCarpet · 31/03/2025 07:44

God, its not 'another thing men don't think about'.

It's another thing that some people don't think about.

I've never been a big photo taker. My ex husband was, my last boyfriend was and my partner is. All men.

I've also dated men who weren't and there are literally no photos from our time together.

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