Husband never takes photos - is this a common thing

[Motherof1and2dogs]

Not sure if it’s just the pregnancy hormones but I woke up this morning feeling really upset that I didn’t get any photos of me and my 2 year old son yesterday on Mother’s Day, it would have been our last Mother’s Day just us before his baby sister comes along.
To be fair I didn’t ask for my husband to take photos, but me asking is the only way he will take any and sometimes I just feel I shouldn’t have to ask. I just get upset that my camera roll is full of photos of my husband and my son, I take them almost daily, and all mine are just selfies with my son because he doesn’t think to take any of me and my son together, the natural photos are always the best as well! 🥺

Is this just something that men aren’t good at in general? He tells me his brain isn’t wired that way and he doesn’t ever think to take photos, or is that just a poor excuse. I would love to know if this is the same for most.

When I actually had camera, I would take lots of photographs, now I only have a 'phone, I hardly take any. No idea why.

Some people like to take photos, some don’t. I rarely take photos, DP takes loads. OP if you want your husband to take photos, you have to ask him.

Yes same here, I never take photos whereas OH always is snapping away, it annoys me as I just live in the moment and he is seeing days out through his camera on his phone and holding it up all the time to video things

I dont have photos on my phone apart from ones OH has sent me. Which I barely bother to look at anyway

I find the taking of photos these days quite oppressive and OTT. I long for the days when we had 24 or 30 shots on the film and you had to really think about what to take a photo of. I have amazing memories of things that there isn’t a single photo for. I do enjoy my childhood albums, and it does feel like there are loads, but in comparison there aren’t because my parents couldn’t take unlimited photos with their camera.

However, that isn’t your question. It’s not a man thing, my DH enjoys a good photo, and his family can take the exact same photo over about 175 times with slight angle changes of your head. DC2 and I have a rule that we will only do 9 photos at a wedding!

Truly, if you wanted photos you had to tell him, regardless of whether you wanted candid.

It was the complete opposite in our house - my dad took the vast majority of the photos when I was growing up and still takes the majority now.

My DH is the same, we are on holiday just the two of us at the moment and I have to ask for photos all the time. I have loads of him! Same as with the kids at home, loads of them and hardly any of me.
Like someone else, he manages to take the least flattering pictures ever 😂 it’s just not his thing.
I took some at a landmark we visited and he was like you haven’t taken that, that’s a photo off the website or brochures, I’m like that’s my picture, taken right now.

I agree with this ^
I haven’t got any photos yesterday but tbh it was just a relaxing day in our house. I have plenty of photos of DD and me together to prove that we are related 🙂

Yes same here, my mum never took photos, we barely have any of my dad because of this.

Sounds refreshing to me- I can't stand people who are always taking pictures. Live in the moment, not in some imagined future looking back at the past. Not every occasion has to be recorded for posterity- "last mother's day before the arrival of your new baby" is one that the annals can probably manage without.

My mum and dad both took loads, and I'm incredibly grateful because they've both now died, and I have photos of myself with both of them throughout the time I had with them. I was able to tell my Dad how grateful I am, because some of my friends have next to no photos of themselves with their mum.

DH is pretty good. Both him and my Dad have been into photography though - perhaps that's the secret.

My husband rarely takes photos of people, which overall I don’t think is a bad thing, because he is truly awful at it. Can do nice shots of landscape and so on though.

I don’t know many men generally, who seem to have the same sentimental view of photographs that women have. Those I do tend to be more fans of candid photographs, that is to mean - nobody is looking in the same direction, someone has their eyes closed, someone else looks like they’re having a stroke.

My DH is the same

Doesn't take photos of me and the kids but has pictures of really random things

He gets annoyed with me as I love taking photos of anything- i see the creativity in photo taking! Even on my phone!

I take pictures the photos myself OP. Doesn't have to be a selfie. I have a tripod for my phone and use the timer! You can get very creative!

Most of my "candid" photos are actually posed that way and i suspect it's the same for a lot of people! I have one of me on a recent trip that i really like and family and friends think my DH took it, nope trusty tripod and timer 😂

If i want DH to take the photo, i do ask!

100% it's a thing, my DH is the same. He has got better and will take the odd one unprompted but I find I just need to be blunt and ask him to take a few if I want them.

He's not very sentimental about photos in general though whereas I love looking through old family albums.

I don't understand people who observe a minor personality difference between them and their husband and immediately think it must be because he's a MAN. Is gender the only possibly explanation for personality differences to some people?

I'm not into taking photos at all. A lot of the time it doesn't occur to me, a lot of the time when it does occur to me I enjoy being in the moment too much to faff around and get my phone out, and I'm not an especially good photographer anyway (my phone gallery is just one big blur).

I'm most conscientious of taking photos of food (both in restaurants and DP's own dishes). I like taking photos of cute dogs too but they never stay still long enough for me to get anything other than a blur.

DP is better than me at taking photos but he's hardly a must-document-every-memory type either. I don't really see the point when I can just use my actual memory to think back to nice times in the past.

This might be the most absurd use of "mental load" I've seen yet.

Remembering to take photos is not "mental load" because it's not actually necessary! If it stresses you out then don't do it.

Well I've got hundreds and hundreds of photos of my son from when he was a baby and growing up. My DH is in quite a few of them and I'm in very few. Mainly because I just hate seeing myself in photos because I just spoil them.

I'm not interested in photos of myself and would never have expected my DH to take a Mother's Day photo. Although actually yesterday my now adult son took a head and shoulders selfie of us both. It was what he wanted and I don't have to look at it. My DH has been dead many years now.

Last mothers day before baby sister?
Maybe he didn't know that was a thing.
I didn't

YABU. My DH never takes pictures of anything unless it is practical, such as a barcode of something, or his passport before he goes on holiday, or a golf club he’s seen but wants to order online cheaper.

So you didn’t ask him and you’re upset that he didn’t guess? Use your words!

I think this is partly a family thing. We are not a very photo-y family, my parents hardly ever took any and when they did they were bloody awful (my mum can make anyone look bad in a photo). As an adult it’s not a habit i’m in.

Same here. I don't think its especially a man thing......if you want photos, use your words and say so!

It's better than the other extreme I would guess. Everything we do has to be photographed & videoed then posted with a commentary. There'll then be sulks if not enough people acknowledge it. I don't let him take my photo anymore & I refuse to engage with it. Can't even get a bag of chips without photographs, video, price info etc etc. It's part of a wider OCD problem & he's 'on the waiting list' for treatment.

This ffs

Yep, never. He just doesn't reminisce or look back at anything! 🙄

It probably stems from society's different behaviours towards men and women. Women are complimented, called beautiful, and far more emphasis is put into aesthetics with them than men. Half the shops along the highstreet are hair, nails, clothes, tanning salons, etc, all for women. Men don't really compliment each other or put a fraction of the effort into appearance. As such, would men really feel 'pretty' enough to want to be in pictures?

Its interesting you say that, this thread reminded me that I work with a cohort of people who are quite vulnerable, either MH, or substance misuse or LD/SEN or a myriad of the combinations as well as previous trauma etc etc

A really common theme during assessments is a preoccupation, sometimes to the point of obsession with made up anniversaries, like OP says the last mothers day before the baby. Then marking those times with quite over the top recognition, sometimes not being able to go out that day or do something that day etc etc

Not the same as your husband but it reminded me that society seems to have picked up 'days' as something tangible and built it up in their heads and get upset if they're not done in the 'right way'