Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister leaving us out

64 replies

LemonDuck223 · 30/03/2025 10:21

Don't know if i am being unreasonable but I feel a bit sad about it.

Dsis has invited our parents out for breakfast. Hasn't invited me and DS. We are quite a close family and last time we went for breakfast it was to that place and I was the one who arranged and made sure to invite everyone.
I'm a single parent and DS is still fairly young so can't treat me or take me out so we aren't really doing much.
So it's upsetting knowing they are all out whilst I'm sat at home with DS. I know people will say go out and enjoy yourself which I am going to head out in a bit but still doesn't detract from the fact dsis left me out.
Btw this isn't the first time and dsis and bil have form for leaving me out of things over the years. I just don't get it. I've really been there for dsis over a really tough month for her recently

OP posts:
HundredPercentUnsure · 30/03/2025 10:24

Your dsis is treating her mum for mother's day by the sound of it.

RedToothBrush · 30/03/2025 10:24

Why do you HAVE to be included?

Why can't they go out without you?

I have to say your attitude that you should be included is probably part of the problem.

It's normal for a child and her husband to have one to one take with her parents without inviting the other sibling.

If you had multiple siblings and you were the only one left out you'd have a point.

In this situation it's just you being ridiculous.

DancingDucks · 30/03/2025 10:27

I think it's ok for your sister to do things with your parents without you and vice versa. I'm a little unclear on why you feel that you have to be invited too?

TwentyTwentyFive · 30/03/2025 10:30

Why can't your sister see your parents by herself? It's really odd that you think you should be included to be honest.

rainbowstardrops · 30/03/2025 10:30

Of course your sister doesn’t have to invite you but as you’ve helped her out recently and you’re on your own with your young child, I think it would have been nice to include you.

Orders76 · 30/03/2025 10:31

It's ok to do things separately, nice to focus on one relationship not a group. Different age kids can be different to handle. You could pop over to your mother in the afternoon too, bring flowers and scones?

Nanny0gg · 30/03/2025 10:35

RedToothBrush · 30/03/2025 10:24

Why do you HAVE to be included?

Why can't they go out without you?

I have to say your attitude that you should be included is probably part of the problem.

It's normal for a child and her husband to have one to one take with her parents without inviting the other sibling.

If you had multiple siblings and you were the only one left out you'd have a point.

In this situation it's just you being ridiculous.

I disagree

When it's something like Mothers Day it's perfectly normal to do something together. Saves the mother being split as to what she does. And it means the daughters get to enjoy the breakfast too

Overthebow · 30/03/2025 10:39

She wanted to take her mum out for Mother’s Day. Did you invite your mum out for mother’s day? Maybe take her out later in the day?

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 30/03/2025 10:39

Your sister is taking your mum out for Mother’s Day. She’s not leaving you out or excluding you. You don’t have to all do things together all of the time

MoreChocPls · 30/03/2025 10:40

Why didn’t you invite your mum for breakfast or lunch?

Nosaucelikemintsauce · 30/03/2025 10:41

It's mothers day.. Would have been nice of dsis acknowledged you are a dm. Has she got dc? Betting not...

TwentyTwentyFive · 30/03/2025 10:43

Nanny0gg · 30/03/2025 10:35

I disagree

When it's something like Mothers Day it's perfectly normal to do something together. Saves the mother being split as to what she does. And it means the daughters get to enjoy the breakfast too

Show quote history

I don't think that's true. It doesn't sound like the mother would have been split in two as the OP hasn't invited her parents out or had any intention of doing so, why can't her sister invite them out to spend some quality time together?

SparklyStone · 30/03/2025 10:44

OP I understand the loneliness of life, and can see why you yearn to be there. Days like Mothers Day make me miss being part of a family unit. Big hugs x

mnahmnah · 30/03/2025 10:44

I think given that it is Mother’s Day and OP is missing out due to being a single parents and a young child, it would have been nice of the sister to include her and it’s at least ignorant and at most mean not to have.

Original poster
LemonDuck223 · 30/03/2025 10:45

Overthebow · 30/03/2025 10:39

She wanted to take her mum out for Mother’s Day. Did you invite your mum out for mother’s day? Maybe take her out later in the day?

I did invite her out for chips and a beach walk and she said she didn't know as she had already been invited to breakfast.

Perhaps I have displaced anger because my mum sees Dsis every single day. She helps with her kids etc. Where as I'm a single parent and receive no help and hardly see DM even though we don't live far apart. Dsis craves her attention all the time and I guess I'm just feeling like I'm 2nd best. Because Dsis makes a fuss and I don't DM always panders to her

OP posts:
InfoSecInTheCity · 30/03/2025 10:47

You knew it was Mother’s Day so did you have a conversation anytime in the last few weeks with your sister where you said ‘hey do you have any plans for M day?, oh breakfast, that sounds nice would you mind if me and DD came too?’

RedToothBrush · 30/03/2025 10:47

mnahmnah · 30/03/2025 10:44

I think given that it is Mother’s Day and OP is missing out due to being a single parents and a young child, it would have been nice of the sister to include her and it’s at least ignorant and at most mean not to have.

I am guessing there's a back story and the sister is the one who always takes the initiative and organises everything.

The OP has the expectation she would also be invited but didn't initiate anything for her mother.

Sister is perfectly fair and within rights to invite mother without sister. It's weird to expect to be invited as the default.

fishkettle · 30/03/2025 10:49

I don’t understand why you haven’t arranged to see your Mum yourself. That would give you something to do on Mother’s Day! Are SIL/BIL expected to pick up the tab? Would you be covering yourself and half the DPs bill’? Do you have form for joining in and not contributing? Maybe they just wanted to talk to the DPs by themselves? Maybe it was just an oversight.

fishkettle · 30/03/2025 10:50

Oh right - just seen the backstory!!

Anywherebuthere · 30/03/2025 10:51

You're not her mother. You can do something with your DS and DM another time. It doesnt have to be today.

You also can't claim rights to a place you've made arrangements to go to previously.

Original poster
LemonDuck223 · 30/03/2025 10:52

fishkettle · 30/03/2025 10:49

I don’t understand why you haven’t arranged to see your Mum yourself. That would give you something to do on Mother’s Day! Are SIL/BIL expected to pick up the tab? Would you be covering yourself and half the DPs bill’? Do you have form for joining in and not contributing? Maybe they just wanted to talk to the DPs by themselves? Maybe it was just an oversight.

I did try to organise someone with DM. No I always pay for me and DS.

OP posts:
TwentyTwentyFive · 30/03/2025 10:54

It sounds like your mother is the problem not your sister given your update.

MissSookieStackhouse · 30/03/2025 10:54

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to think your sister would include you so your mum could see both her daughters and grandchildren on Mother’s Day, especially as you’re on your own. I think it’s pretty mean to exclude you actually. If it was me, I’d start pushing back with both of them. Ask for more help from your mum if you need it with childcare and don’t be the people pleaser all the time. Don’t roll over and let your sister dominate!

RB68 · 30/03/2025 10:55

God I hate it when everyone assumes then lays into OP.

Its her Mum too and it should be a family get together if there are siblings all local.

However, OP you need to stope being a doormat and stand up for yourself and make a bit of fuss when you are pushed out.

I get you regarding not even being considered though - I am the eldest of 6 and was often left out of things when my P were alive. But we can't take offense unless you get stuck in etc.

Too late now for MD but there is always Easter

AgnesX · 30/03/2025 10:58

HundredPercentUnsure · 30/03/2025 10:24

Your dsis is treating her mum for mother's day by the sound of it.

It's the OPs mother as well....and being Mother's Day, they should have both arranged it or been invited.

Dsis has 364 other days of the year to see their mother on her own