Sister leaving us out

[LemonDuck223]

Don't know if i am being unreasonable but I feel a bit sad about it.

Dsis has invited our parents out for breakfast. Hasn't invited me and DS. We are quite a close family and last time we went for breakfast it was to that place and I was the one who arranged and made sure to invite everyone.
I'm a single parent and DS is still fairly young so can't treat me or take me out so we aren't really doing much.
So it's upsetting knowing they are all out whilst I'm sat at home with DS. I know people will say go out and enjoy yourself which I am going to head out in a bit but still doesn't detract from the fact dsis left me out.
Btw this isn't the first time and dsis and bil have form for leaving me out of things over the years. I just don't get it. I've really been there for dsis over a really tough month for her recently

If you read the OP she did plan but her sister got there first.

Maybe you think she should have forward planned at Christmas? My point was there is one mother on one day. Would sharing have been that hard?

Or the flip side, OP could ask... "it's Mother's Day soon, I want to treat DMum to a nice lunch. Would you like to join us?"

Or even better: "hey sis, can your DP take your kids and my kid for the afternoon on Mother's Day so you and me can take Mum out together without the kids? A mother's day treat for all of us! Pleeeeease!"

And if you read my post, I said OP could prepare better for next year - perhaps she should have asked earlier! Perhaps both dsis should have communicated better.

Why do siblings have to do everything together? What about Dmums birthday? What about Christmas, since you mentioned it? Who has Dmum for Christmas? Etc etc.

It sounds like you don't even like your sister very much so would you really want to go for breakfast with her?

Take this as face value that she has done something nice for your mum to thank her for all that your mum does for her

Have a lovely day with your son and celebrate with your mum another day

Actually that's a really shit response from your mum.

I would have gone and had a lovely day out with just you and your DS and completely ignored your mum. Even if she didn't want to eat again, the beach walk was a lovely idea.

It was also rather rude of your sister not to consult you.

It was thoughtless of your sister and mum to leave you out when you're a single mum on Mother's Day. Not nice of your mum to not commit to doing something with you too, I'm sure she could have managed to fit in a walk on the beach with you and your DC. I hope you've managed to have an okay day 💕

Presumably she is treating her mum. Do you think she should treat you too?

Ok having read your other posts I think your DM should have said something given you are a single parent with a young DC. Your DSis also should have included you if you don’t have form for expecting her to pay for you.

As I said earlier I always pay and my ds is well behaved. If anything Dsis children are the ones that play up

To update. Dsis let Dm down for breakfast because she was annoyed. DM decided to go out with my DF and not go out with me and DS. So me and DS went out together and had a nice time.

Wish my family dynamic wasn't so toxic

I'm sorry to hear that. You mum and your DSis both sound awful. I'd stop trying to have a relationship with both of them. What is your dad like? Do you have a good relationship with him?

From your updates, your sister is unreasonable and your mum is enabling it.

I would suggest you extricate yourself from the dynamic and leave them to get on with it. Doesn't stop you seeing either of them, but don't allow yourself to get caught up in it.

Jesus. You might find this thread useful. The second post summarises the type of family dynamic you might be dealing with:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5272966-february-2025-well-we-took-you-to-stately-homes

Thanks I've been on this board for many years unfortunately.