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Original poster

To wish I'd never bought my children Ipads?

294 replies

Goodnurseorgremlin · 29/03/2025 08:22

I have six year old twins. They have never had ipads/tablets until this Christmas where I relented and bought them an ipad each.

Worst thing I ever did. I'm quite strict. with them They are only allowed an hour on a morning on weekends and same after school weekdays. It's still driving me insane. Pre ipad they would have been watching TV or playing at this time on a morning. Now they are glued to their ipads watching absolute brain dead kiddie trash on YouTube. I've had to send them to the kitchen for my sanity.

Can anyone relate? Is it too late to tell them santa needs the bloody things back?

OP posts:
GiraffeCup · 05/04/2025 23:34

BrightGreenPoet · 05/04/2025 23:27

All of mine have had tablets since they turned 2-ish. They are great but you have to do it right.

Assuming they're using YouTube Kids (they should not be on the adult version), change the settings so that they can only watch channels you've approved, then go through and find the educational channels. There was one my then 4-year-old watched during covid that gave him a better understanding of health than most adults, and my now 5-year-old was teaching herself to read at 3 using the thing.

Take off the fluff apps and put on the good quality ones. There's a great app called ABCMouse that is great for kids 2-8. It gives them school work in the form of games, activities, videos, etc. and is absolutely worth the subscription fee and really helped my kids get ahead in school.

You can also use the tablets for rewards/discipline. My kids get sassy, I they lose their devices/I turn off the wifi, etc. Works better than any time out.

I wouldn't be proudly stating that my kids are so dependent in their tablets that you use the removal of them as the main form of discipline 🤷‍♀️

Yourethebeerthief · 05/04/2025 23:51

GiraffeCup · 05/04/2025 23:34

I wouldn't be proudly stating that my kids are so dependent in their tablets that you use the removal of them as the main form of discipline 🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

Yeah this is definitely not a good thing.

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 09:40

BrightGreenPoet · 05/04/2025 23:27

All of mine have had tablets since they turned 2-ish. They are great but you have to do it right.

Assuming they're using YouTube Kids (they should not be on the adult version), change the settings so that they can only watch channels you've approved, then go through and find the educational channels. There was one my then 4-year-old watched during covid that gave him a better understanding of health than most adults, and my now 5-year-old was teaching herself to read at 3 using the thing.

Take off the fluff apps and put on the good quality ones. There's a great app called ABCMouse that is great for kids 2-8. It gives them school work in the form of games, activities, videos, etc. and is absolutely worth the subscription fee and really helped my kids get ahead in school.

You can also use the tablets for rewards/discipline. My kids get sassy, I they lose their devices/I turn off the wifi, etc. Works better than any time out.

Same. I withdraw tablet time for bad behaviour. The threat is enough to change the course. They get an hour a day but don’t always use that. We’ve had ours a week now and I would say they’ve not really become obsessed.

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 09:40

GiraffeCup · 05/04/2025 23:34

I wouldn't be proudly stating that my kids are so dependent in their tablets that you use the removal of them as the main form of discipline 🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

Except that’s not what she said.

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 09:42

My eldest is really enjoying his time watching his programmes but sat next to me in the evening whilst I watch TV. I think he feels
grown up whilst his younger brother is in bed.

sugarandplum · 06/04/2025 10:03

I have a 6 year old and won’t let her have unsupervised access to an iPad. Her and her 4 yo sister can use our iPads but not for long.

No good can come of it at this age.

They only have screen time at the weekend as the tantrums are too much during the week. By limiting screen time they no longer actually really want to watch tv as they fill their time playing in other ways and they seem to prefer this.

It requires a little perseverance to introduce stricter screen limits but is worth it.

I appreciate that this may sound holier than thou but this is not how it’s intended. Our screen limits were introduced in the short term but the benefits have been huge so the limits remain.

Good luck

GiraffeCup · 06/04/2025 10:04

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 09:40

Except that’s not what she said.

Show quote history

Well she was happy to say she gave a TWO year old a tablet and that it had spent so much time in it they'd learnt to read. And that it's such a big thing in their lives, taking it away is the only effective form of discipline.
That's not good. That's embarrassing.

GiraffeCup · 06/04/2025 10:06

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 09:40

Same. I withdraw tablet time for bad behaviour. The threat is enough to change the course. They get an hour a day but don’t always use that. We’ve had ours a week now and I would say they’ve not really become obsessed.

Show quote history

That's not a good thing. That implies your child is somewhat addicted to the tablet...

GiraffeCup · 06/04/2025 10:07

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 09:40

Same. I withdraw tablet time for bad behaviour. The threat is enough to change the course. They get an hour a day but don’t always use that. We’ve had ours a week now and I would say they’ve not really become obsessed.

Show quote history

You've had them a week...and think this is a good test of whether they're positive or negative impact on your life? And yet you're already having to threaten to remove it as form of discipline???

I think you're in denial

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 10:10

Hey @GiraffeCup are you having a particularly bad day? You’re being quite aggressive. You’ve assumed a lot - such as my addict children, despite my post being totally contradictory to that assumption.

In respect of your second question, which I think was more of a statement, but nonetheless I’ll humour you, I think if they’re not having difficulty/using their full hours allowance and still managing to have days without their use of the tablet is entirely appropriate and the impact positive rather than negative or concerning.

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 10:10

In denial 🤣🤣🤣 just noticed your edit @GiraffeCup do you need a sit down love?

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/04/2025 10:11

Hwi · 29/03/2025 11:30

What is the problem? I remove devices from my dc (20 y.o) and my husband when necessary

You do what? I’m amazed they tolerate that. Do you control every aspect of their lives?

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 10:14

Looking at his stats my child is spending around 1/3 of a time doing his spelling and phonics homework. My youngest averages at 20mins a day. Given 45 mins is a Saturday whilst the eldest does sports I am totally comfortable in their use so far 👍

or does MN feel I should speak the school and ask they set their homework another way? 🧐 I suppose I’d need to offer to finance that too… he was just using my phone before im quizzed on that and that kept me off MN 🤣

GiraffeCup · 06/04/2025 10:14

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 10:10

Hey @GiraffeCup are you having a particularly bad day? You’re being quite aggressive. You’ve assumed a lot - such as my addict children, despite my post being totally contradictory to that assumption.

In respect of your second question, which I think was more of a statement, but nonetheless I’ll humour you, I think if they’re not having difficulty/using their full hours allowance and still managing to have days without their use of the tablet is entirely appropriate and the impact positive rather than negative or concerning.

Well, you have had them a week, they already spend up to an hour a day in them,and you already are leveraging them as tools of discipline. So it rather implies that the impact of these new devices are bigger than you realise/are letting on... But, it could be that it's just a new and shiny toy.

It will be interesting to see how they are with them in 8 months time. If that screen time creeps up, the behaviour changes etc.

So many children become addicted to them,but it's normalised and people don't realise.

GiraffeCup · 06/04/2025 10:16

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 10:14

Looking at his stats my child is spending around 1/3 of a time doing his spelling and phonics homework. My youngest averages at 20mins a day. Given 45 mins is a Saturday whilst the eldest does sports I am totally comfortable in their use so far 👍

or does MN feel I should speak the school and ask they set their homework another way? 🧐 I suppose I’d need to offer to finance that too… he was just using my phone before im quizzed on that and that kept me off MN 🤣

Lots of parents don't have iPads etc, the school will send worksheets home.

And also, if they're only doing homework,bad spending 45 minutes during the activity... Then why are you using the removal of it as a discipline tool? Confused

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 10:21

GiraffeCup · 06/04/2025 10:16

Lots of parents don't have iPads etc, the school will send worksheets home.

And also, if they're only doing homework,bad spending 45 minutes during the activity... Then why are you using the removal of it as a discipline tool? Confused

Edited
Show quote history

Are you trained in interrogation?

Lighttodark · 06/04/2025 10:26

Goodnurseorgremlin · 29/03/2025 08:22

I have six year old twins. They have never had ipads/tablets until this Christmas where I relented and bought them an ipad each.

Worst thing I ever did. I'm quite strict. with them They are only allowed an hour on a morning on weekends and same after school weekdays. It's still driving me insane. Pre ipad they would have been watching TV or playing at this time on a morning. Now they are glued to their ipads watching absolute brain dead kiddie trash on YouTube. I've had to send them to the kitchen for my sanity.

Can anyone relate? Is it too late to tell them santa needs the bloody things back?

This is not strict. An hour a day after school is a lot. Not great for vision and YouTube is mostly trash. Even if it’s the norm in your circle, that doesn’t make it ok.

Yourethebeerthief · 06/04/2025 10:32

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 10:14

Looking at his stats my child is spending around 1/3 of a time doing his spelling and phonics homework. My youngest averages at 20mins a day. Given 45 mins is a Saturday whilst the eldest does sports I am totally comfortable in their use so far 👍

or does MN feel I should speak the school and ask they set their homework another way? 🧐 I suppose I’d need to offer to finance that too… he was just using my phone before im quizzed on that and that kept me off MN 🤣

You can’t possibly gauge the impact of iPads on your children after only a week.

Yes, you should ask the school for homework in another format.

iPads are not good for your kids in the long run. They don’t provide a single thing at their age that they cannot get in other ways, and the impact will only be negative. You just won’t be seeing it this early on.

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 10:44

Why would I remove positive use of the iPad - homework? When my son is engaged, enthusiastic and performing well academically. Personally I think tablets, electronics etc are a way of life and integrating their use in a controlled manner is better than an outright - illogical ban. My son’s teacher is scatty enough as it is and I can only imagine asking for paper based homework would just cause constant delay and confusion.

GiraffeCup · 06/04/2025 10:58

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 10:44

Why would I remove positive use of the iPad - homework? When my son is engaged, enthusiastic and performing well academically. Personally I think tablets, electronics etc are a way of life and integrating their use in a controlled manner is better than an outright - illogical ban. My son’s teacher is scatty enough as it is and I can only imagine asking for paper based homework would just cause constant delay and confusion.

You said you already have to threaten to remove the iPad as a form of discipline, and this is after one week, that's what we're talking about.

Yourethebeerthief · 06/04/2025 10:59

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 10:44

Why would I remove positive use of the iPad - homework? When my son is engaged, enthusiastic and performing well academically. Personally I think tablets, electronics etc are a way of life and integrating their use in a controlled manner is better than an outright - illogical ban. My son’s teacher is scatty enough as it is and I can only imagine asking for paper based homework would just cause constant delay and confusion.

I would remove it because the negatives outweigh the positives. I don’t see why that’s illogical. My son’s school make use of iPads in the classroom sometimes for educational purposes and that’s fine by me, but they won’t be part of our home life.

If a teacher was so bird brained that they aren’t able to provide paper based tasks I’d talk to the headteacher. Our school doesn’t do homework in the primary years so it’s not a concern.

Hereslookinatyoukid · 06/04/2025 11:07

Mynewnameis · 29/03/2025 08:24

It's really hard to block you tube!
I'm Android and use family link to restrict you tube to 1 hour a day.

It’s really not. Our iPad is set to only allow specific websites we have allowed,

@Goodnurseorgremlin - if you want to limit access to all websites or only allow a couple of them then follow the instructions here and select “Selected Websites” https://support.apple.com/en-gb/105121

Obviously you need to check they don’t have the YouTube app installed.

Use parental controls on your child’s iPhone or iPad – Apple Support (UK)

With Screen Time, you can turn on Content & Privacy Restrictions to manage content, apps and settings on your child’s device. You can also restrict explicit content, purchases and downloads, and changes to privacy settings.

https://support.apple.com/en-gb/105121

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 11:08

Yourethebeerthief · 06/04/2025 10:59

I would remove it because the negatives outweigh the positives. I don’t see why that’s illogical. My son’s school make use of iPads in the classroom sometimes for educational purposes and that’s fine by me, but they won’t be part of our home life.

If a teacher was so bird brained that they aren’t able to provide paper based tasks I’d talk to the headteacher. Our school doesn’t do homework in the primary years so it’s not a concern.

Show quote history

It’s illogical to change something that’s working well for us. Can you please reference your assertions that my children’s use (which is not “excessive”) is negative or is it just a belief you hold?

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 11:11

GiraffeCup · 06/04/2025 10:58

You said you already have to threaten to remove the iPad as a form of discipline, and this is after one week, that's what we're talking about.

Show quote history

Just like I might not allow an ice cream at the park for bad behaviour- it’s not conclusive evidence they’re addicted to ice cream. You’re extrapolating.

GiraffeCup · 06/04/2025 11:23

AlwaysCoffee25 · 06/04/2025 11:11

Just like I might not allow an ice cream at the park for bad behaviour- it’s not conclusive evidence they’re addicted to ice cream. You’re extrapolating.

Show quote history

Well, using food as a reward for good behaviour isn't great either 🤷‍♀️