Mother's Day - should school do more?

[inquisitiveinga]

Disclaimer: I am absolutely not going to complain regarding this matter, I understand that teachers may have completely valid reasons for the below. My child's teacher is also FANTASTIC, she doesn't have children, and I can't help but think that due to this she perhaps doesn't understand the value of a handmade card?

My child has come home from school today and it's very clear that nothing has been prepared for Mother's Day, at least where their class is concerned. Usually a "beautiful" card comes home and it really makes my day.

Personally, I'm not bothered. I'm fortunate enough to have a husband who will not doubt ensure I have something from my 7 year old, and 1 year old (although I'm not really sure anything from her is warranted!). However, I can't help but think about single mothers in the class who may not receive anything (and who absolutely should).

AIBU to even be having this thought process?

Glad you didn’t find it traumatic. That’s really lovely and I am not being sarcastic, I am genuinely pleased because so many children do find it traumatic. And their experiences and grief are just as important to be taken note of.

"really lovely" is really different to "not traumatising"

Double standards here this evening!

There could be children in the class who are being raised solely by their dad or by grandparents or in foster care.

As someone who is a single mum and works with looked after children, I wish on behalf of the looked after children that schools would stop doing Mother’s Day assemblies and cards.

It’s not a case of the children in care thinking that the world ‘revolves around them’. Can you really not imagine how them watching all their peers write out cards for loved ones whilst they have nothing or worse than nothing would make them feel on top of all of the trauma they have already experienced?

You have 2 happy children and a husband. Sort your own card out or get your husband to do it, and stop moaning.

Did mothers day stop for your mother because she became a widow? It is an odd way to look at this. That only mothers with husbands would get cards etc . (Organised by the husband) ..unless schools arranged something? Can you talk to her? You were eight so old enough to buy or make something? Did not need to be thru school. Do you remember mothers day stopping? Do you know "single mothers" today who are bereft because they do not have a husband to organise a card? Because single and non single mothers are capable of arranging card drawing with their child. It does not make it less meaningful. You can give them pen paper crayons and say "I would love you to make me a card i will leave you to it. Cannot wait to see what you draw" .

I don't think that's fair. My children don't have a father, they still made fathers day cards and there was an annual "bring your dad to school" day. I wouldn't have expected them to change things for my children.

Sorry this made me laugh a little.
Please tell that to my 6 (nearly 7) year old who has been in a special school for 3 years that he should be capable of making a card by himself 😂

He is in fact the best human shredder

That doesn’t make sense. Double standards? Dont see how. I was just saying I was pleased you weren’t traumatised by doing a card even though you had suffered a bereavement.

I was trying to be nice and saying it was good you weren’t traumatised what explaining that many other children would find it traumatic.

You don’t need to get arsy with me just because you’re not getting the answers you want on the thread.

The school has a "bring your dad to school" day?
Where is this, and how many participate?

I’m a single mother, DD, 10, will make me a card at home and has asked me to take her to a shop to buy me flowers. She gets generous pocket money and I’ll sneak some extra money into her piggy bank if she spends too much on me. Similar routine is followed for my birthday and Christmas. Occasionally XH remembers to help her get me something.

I know children who have lost their mum, making a card for granny, auntie, special woman just rubs salt in the wound if the rest of the class is making a card for their actual mum. I would prefer to get nothing at all than have bereaved children going through those feelings.

Apologies for the sdetrack, but: I would like to see this question asked whenever someone says that "Children should learn X in school", which seems to be a common position from all parts of the political and intellectual spectrum. I think that anyone making that statement should be forced to say "Instead of geography, that's a waste of time, we have Google Maps" or "Instead of PE, they should join a sports club" or whatever. (For the avoidance of doubt, I don't support either of those arguments.)

It's trivial to say that children should learn something extra - of course everyone "should" learn as much as possible about everything. But there are only so many hours in the school day and week. So come one, tell us what Critical Thinking or Philosophy or Knitting or The Basics of Household Finance - all of which it would be great if kids left school knowing something about, I'm sure - should replace. And argue it out with the current teachers of those subjects.

So what are we up to so far as regards the expectations of schools (well let’s face it - teachers and TAs):

provide breakfast
brush children’s teeth
change children’s nappies
change children’s clothes and clean up when they’ve wet themselves because parents haven’t potty trained properly
teach them how to hold a book and read left to right
put their coats and shoes on

the list goes on……

and now make Mother’s Day cards (and presumably Father’s Day cards)

these are all things children should arrive at school ready to do (SEN excluded).

parents really need to start parenting!

It was a few years ago now and pretty much every single child.

Rummage to the bottom of his bag I bet it’s in there…

or maybe someone in his class has had a change of circumstances which ment this was not appropriate or even maybe the teacher or TA could not face doing it this year
maybe you will get it Monday

Feelings of a single mother [adult] not getting a card vs. Feelings of a young child who has lost their mother & has to watch their friends all make cards… hmmm, tricky choice for a busy teacher to make

Bloody hell. I can’t believe I’m reading this. No wonder people don’t want to be teachers any more.

I’m a single mum and it’s better that I received nothing than a child feeling like shit all afternoon because everyone else has a mum and they don’t. Even if they have another female carer to make it for, it must feel shit for the child and possibly embarrassing if they cry when the teacher explains their alternative card.

I know my kids love me and they show me every day.

You should see what they write about us on the class WhatsApp groups and the emails we get after 10:30 on a Saturday night when the parents have been on the Prosecco!!

My mum died when I was 5 and nobody ever talked about her once she was gone. Being taken out of the classroom to do something else while the other kids made cards for their mums just made me feel even more isolated and embarrassed.

I am so sorry to hear how you were treated. Xx

Sorry for that applepie.

See. Op was thinking of the "single mothers". ...imagining they would miss out....Op really didn't think about the children. Hopefully she thinks now.

Even if I hadn't ever previously thought about why schools may not do this, once it was explained to me, I cannot imagine for even a second still thinking that my desire for a card was more important than not distressing children

I wouldn’t be upset not to receive one, as I appreciate the teachers have so much more to focus on, but I truly do appreciate the lovely
little cards DS and DD have brought home today. I love these little keepsakes and am very grateful for them. They are only young though, so I suspect these will trail off as they enter KS2.

Maybe your kid hid it as a surprise.
Maybe they lost it.
Maybe they left it at school.(we had 3 left behind today).
Maybe there wasn’t enough time to make MD cards AND Easter cards.
Maybe the teacher actually forgot, or they’re not doing them anymore or whatever other reason.

Who knows?

My heart just sank reading this, thinking of little five-year old you. I’m so sorry ❤️