Seriously thinking about leaving the UK - AIBU?

[HonoraBridge]

I love the UK in many ways but it has been going downhill for at least 20 years and it feels as if the speed of the decline is accelerating. I no longer see a happy, or particularly safe, future here. For the first time in my life, I am very seriously thinking about leaving the UK and that feeling gets stronger day by day. When I mention this to friends, many are feeling the same way. YANBU - you are right to think seriously about leaving the UK. YABU - the UK is a still a great country to live in and you are being unreasonable to want to leave.

No way - everywhere we could go would be just as racist or more so than the UK, education for disabled children would also be just as bad (though some places have niche issues).

It's so ironic that people are saying "I would if I didn't have a disabled child" or "I would if I was younger". People think social care/health care has gone down hill but won't move anywhere else because it's better here?

An earthquake?

I don't think you are being unreasonable but lots of places are in a similar state. Just make sure you do your research and don't just assume the grass in greener.

This. ^ Makes no sense does it?

Do whatever you want. I’m really happy here. I live in London, the neighbourhood is friendly and had great amenities. I love England with all my heart (I am English but grew up in the US and lived for two years in France and spend a lot of time in Spain where I have a house).
It’s not without issues to be sure, but where isn’t?

From experience, running from something you dislike will make it unlikely you become happier if you are only running towards something else because it is NOT your origin. Emigration to a different country is serious, on a practical, cultural and emotional level. I would know, I've done it twice.

So much to consider:

• Language: do you speak it well enough to get by and support yourself? Will you be able to work without proof of this?
• Cultural ties: is where you're looking to go vastly different from here? What would you miss? (and "nothing" is a childish answer) I have moved between 3 European countries which are, supposedly, very similar in culture and attitudes and yet each time I found them very different from each other, and a huge culture shock when I found that things just didn't work the way I was used to. How warm people are upon meeting you, how quickly friendships form, how formal work places are, what the buerocracy is like.
• Safety net: will you cope without one? No family to help, no friends close at hand?
• Financial: can you actually afford to move? Can you afford to sustain yourself while you look for work? Will you be allowed to? What restrictions are there? Not many countries allow benefits until you have lived, contributed, become resident, and even gained citizenship in many cases.
• Practical: what rights will you lose? The right to free healthcare? The right to vote in elections? The right to walk alone?
• Education: if you have children, how will they cope with different demands?
• How will you cope with xenophobia? It's everywhere, in every country. How will you like being looked at as "not belonging", a "bloody foreigner", an outsider, and all the other prejudice you will face? Because you will face it.

And as someone who still has friends and family all across the world, many countries struggle with all that is a bit shit in the UK. High crime levels, lack of safety, lack of money, both public and i people's pockets... it's really not rosy out there right now. The whole world is unstable.

I would love to but at 45 and not skilled in anything desirable I don’t think any other country would want me!

Can’t she go with you?

You don’t like that net migration is rising here but you’re encouraging your children to migrate to another country and become part of that country’s figures, am I hearing that correctly?

I agree to a certain extent, but I do think low pay and high cost of living conspire to squeeze a lot of people in this country who face challenges in terms of how and where they are able to work. Our climate isn't as good as warmer countries for certain conditions, either.

I've lived all round the world now. Got to the stage where I really miss the UK (well, Scotland and Yorksire, where my roots are.) There are problems everywhere tbh, and a lot to love in the UK. Of course there are other places I could be happy. But I'll be coming home when this job ends in a couple of years and I don't know if I'll leave again. I certainly don't think there's anywhere I'd be particularly financially better off, with my skillset and degree.

@Bignanna really tasteless.

Well it depends what you’re after, there isn’t a perfect country, so you need to really think about what genuinely matters, rather than just being reactive. You need to think about the skills you have to offer, are you in an okay position, do you need to upskill, so you need to re-qualify or can you directly transfer across. There are other things like housing, do you own, if so will you rent it out or sell it, do you have pets, if so it can be expensive to transport them so you need to have a decent amount of cash for that.

Yes where is this Utopia?

That's in really poor taste.

Lots of places won't take disabled immigrants. Not so inclusive and friendly now, are they?

Retirees also push house prices up so locals can no longer buy, and create enclaves of British retirees. Some villages in France are almost exclusively retired foreigners.... not sure the locals appreciate that!

What about leaving your extended family? We have friends who are expats and when we speak to them all we hear is a diatribe about what's wrong with 'broken Britain' and then they start rambling on about how terrible it is where they are living (middle East). They've made a shed-load of cash but still not happy and to us appear rootless.

Like @sunshineheart we are in a village with a pub, shop, parish council, lovely people and absolutely beautiful countryside. A short bus ride to an historic Cathedral City and most importantly, half an hour away from our family and grandchildren. Where we live is viewed as a historically deprived area, not Home Counties chic!

I had serious health concerns last week, spoke to 111 then the next day had a GP appointment. I was referred to a specialist unit for tests and after a mammogram and ultrasound, was given the all clear. This all happened within a timescale of exactly seven days. I defy even private healthcare to have been more efficient and this was under the NHS.

Our grandchildren are educated in a lovely primary school, where they are thriving. Our son-in-law has done very well in the financial sector, working from home mainly, giving him time to take the children to school to ease the burden on our daughter who has a young baby to care for.

I agree the politics of the last decade or so have been terrible - both Conservative and Labour - we have experience of this first hand as public servants in the local government social services and education sector. But these good people in these services bash on regardless and aim to give the best service to the public they are able to. My experience this week proved this - everyone was professional and kind.

We all have choices, but ask yourself also why so many people want to come here? Also you take yourself with you wherever you go and face many of the same human challenges.

People with disabilities are allowed to choose where they live you know.

If I was younger and healthy I would definitely leave to start somewhere else.

@Alllll Not where I'd like to go.

We moved to Montreal. DH is French Canadian although came to the UK on a scholarship for Uni. We both have French as our first language and have transferable jobs - DH a doctor and me a corporate financier.

We have now, in our mid 50’s taken early retirement. DT’s have graduated from Uni with one working in Amsterdam and one in Brussels.

This depends a lot on where you want to go and how much you’d be earning.

Life isn’t all sunshine and seaside in southern Europe, for example.

If you have the criteria for entry into a country where you speak the language, have the skills and experience to get a job to support yourself and have the kind of personality to wave family and friends goodbye, go for it!

Up to you.

But they like the fact that the facilities in the town have been improved thanks to the golden geese laying golden eggs! They like the profits in the restaurants and clubs upped by the wealth retirees!

I would love to leave but at the minute I don't have specific skills or qualifications so I feel a bit trapped.

To say that people would be adding to other countries immigration is a bit silly, we are talking about legal migration with visa, desired skills etc.
The problem in the UK isillegal immigration. I don't know anyone who would have a problem with a skilled person from another country contributing and living in the UK on a visa.

I would love to live in Asia, I certainly wouldn't be put off living somewhere in a huge continent because today there was an earthquake in one area, that's a crazy way to live.