Seriously thinking about leaving the UK - AIBU?

[HonoraBridge]

I love the UK in many ways but it has been going downhill for at least 20 years and it feels as if the speed of the decline is accelerating. I no longer see a happy, or particularly safe, future here. For the first time in my life, I am very seriously thinking about leaving the UK and that feeling gets stronger day by day. When I mention this to friends, many are feeling the same way. YANBU - you are right to think seriously about leaving the UK. YABU - the UK is a still a great country to live in and you are being unreasonable to want to leave.

Go visit the Australian, Canadian, American, NZ etc subreddits. Everyone is complaining of the same things like rising costs, increased crime, housing crisis, poor behaviour in schools etc. Likewise friends in these countries have many of the same concerns. Everyone is struggling. all been through the pandemic and are still dealing with the after effects of that and other issues. Perhaps you’ll find a country that’s a better fit for you but people are struggling just about everywhere and Utopia doesn’t exist.

And you will spend much of that retirement shuttling across the Atlantic.

My neighbours earned oil money in the Gulf, kids at UK boarding schools, they bought a holiday house in a Fife village to use when visiting the kids in exeat uni; then they finally retired there. But their 3 now adult kids feel no UK affinity, well educated in schools with international clientele; so they now live in NYC, Vancouver and Sydney, all now with kids. So they ended up selling their Fife house to buy near a southern International Airport, aware that their kids slightly resent their annual leave being taken up with being with mum and dad either here or at their international homes.

They are sanguine about this reality, understanding that they brought their kids up internationally, and their kids are international.

But it is a reality one shouldn’t disregard!

I know youve wrote that as it sounds good but no one is looking for utopia, no one has given any indication they are looking for utopia, just better than this.

I wouldn't say either, it's really a very personal thing.

Yes, the UK is going downhill, but also my family and friends are here, the culture (here in London) is fantastic, I don't speak another language well, America is far, far worse, Australia/New Zealand are too hot and too far away and generally with global warming I wouldn't move south of the equator these days. So I might as well stay. But that's just me.

DH has talked about moving, but I'm just not enthused by the idea and can't imagine where we'd go.

👏 This exactly. ^

I posted on a similar thread recently. Go for it OP! I'll echo what I've said previously. I was born in the UK and moved to Switzerland 5 years ago and it's the best thing I ever did. Luckily that was pre Brexit and moving around was straightforward. Now you will need a visa sponsorship but it is possible. I have noticed the UK has declined massively over the last 5 years. Every time I come back to the UK to visit everyone is miserable, complaining, fed up and desperate for change. The mood has changed. It's almost as if the majority have given up. People are angry and less tolerant. Nothing works - public transport, roads (traffic/pot holes), education is a mess, health care is a shambles and you pay high tax, high cost of living. Conversely in Switzerland, wages are higher and you pay less tax, everything works, no crime, its efficient, better support. If you lose your job for any reason, as long as you've been employed for 2 years you can claim unemployment benefit capped at 10000 chf per month for 18 months. You pay mandatory private healthcare and it's brilliant, no waiting - I've been referred to a specialist and seen them on the same day. Everything is maintained and invested in - roads, parks, public spaces and activities. We've been able to save alot of money in a short space of time which we would never have achieved if we had stayed in the UK. Initally when i moved to Switzerland i couldnt believe how expensive everything is but now it feels as if its the same price as the UK. What's happening in the UK is not reflective of the rest of the world. I'd recommend moving to anyone and any young person starting out. You can always come back if you want to.

Yeah I think you're right.

I agree with one of the first posters. This isn't an AIBU. Moving abroad is a very complex decision with all sorts of factors to be considered. However, since the OP has not reappeared I'm wondering if this was intended as a serious discussion of her situation. Or something else?

Great point, you've made me realise that's why I'm getting so passionate about this.

I live in a low cost area which has become so deprived. It used to be a lovely community but now the teenagers are so angry, anti social arseholes and there's an insane amount of what I can assume is asylum seekers pouring in, no one knows what's going on.
The shops are closing, every other person doesn't work so for the good, decent people who once called this their home it's horrible. We need to move away because we are living in a place so unaligned with our values and hopes for our sons future.

I can see there are some lovely places still left to live in the UK and people who live there won't be living within this, I wasn't until a few years ago but it's well and truly hit us hard.

Definitely 'something else.'

We now have family locally for the first time in our marriage and family across Europe. Very happy to travel to see family and we share a holiday home in France for getaway in Europe. DT’s are happy to visit - they both came with their partners for Christmas.

The Uk is an utter mess I would agree.

A couple of years ago I met a bunch of youngsters who told me they were learning Swahili as they saw some countries on the African continent as a land of opportunity (I can’t remember which) and were planning their futures there. Interesting.

I think I cba to up sticks at my time of life. Unfortunately

@Fordian I don't think that's a bad thing?! I'm not bringing up my son in the hope that he wants to stay in his home town near to me when he's older. I'm bringing him up so he can travel, explore the world and live wherever he wants, free to live his life as he chooses.
I'm in Switzerland, my brother is in Sweden and my parents are in the UK. As much as they miss me, we all make the effort to see each other when we can and it's focused on quality time together. But they always emphasise they would not want me to come back to the UK with the way things are now and they would never want me to feel like I had to come back for them.

I couldn't leave my extended family in the uk. My aunt went to Tasmania and spent a lot of time moaning that no-one visited her. (We did, but not very much). When I travelled in Australia for a year I missed the rain and pubs. I think I'm too British to feel at home anywhere else. Like a pp I live in a rural area. It's safe and beautiful, with good healthcare and state schools. The UK is definitely not all the same everywhere. Having said that, if you want an adventure op, go for it.

"Just need a visa" and do you pass the requirements?

The irony that Brexit itself is stopping a lot of people leaving has passed you by?

I voted yabu as the shit show in the USA has made me realise how the grass isn’t always greener and to be grateful for what I’ve got. I live in a democratic country which won’t just roll over and let facism take over, I have free healthcare and don’t have to worry about medical bankruptcy, being deported, my kids won’t get shot in school, I’m not being bombed, I have a house , a garden and can access free libraries. Europe is close…..

the list is endless.

I’m sure the locals love it.

Many of our friends have left in the past three years - Sweden, France, Italy, Portugal, Dubai... especially those with young children as childcare is a horrendously overpriced shit here.

I love these threads, which seem to happen a lot these days. The OP posts one post then disappears to draw out the inevitable bunfight.
I have lived abroad in Europe and thoroughly enjoyed my time there. We came home just as Covid hit, and I am glad we did.
I'm anti Brexit and wish that never happened but I am not running away now.
The country is in a bit of a state at the moment, but we have a new government, that is not Tory, and if given half a chance you never know, they might make a difference to the NHS, to education, to generally make improvements.
It seems to me that far too many people read the headlines in the daily rags/GB news and repeat ad infinitum.
For example the one upthread called out by a previous poster - they can emigrate all they like they're not the same as the illegal migrants overrunning the country here.
That is nonsense as we know if we bothered to check official figures. Our immigration numbers are driven entirely by legal visas and what have you.
It is nothing to do with illegal migrants, the number of these is very small.

@ThymeScent

Am encouraging my own to DC to leave.
The country is a mess and with net migration massively rising and the ‘benefit’ culture rife, people who actually work for a living are being taken for mugs.

Its not immigrants and the poor who have screwed Britain. Its 14 years of austerity and the horrific effect that has had on our population and communities.
If there was a wealth tax , rather than trying to screw over the most vulnerable in society, we might have a chance of building a better society.
But carry on with that Daily Mail headline bullshit if it makes you feel better... its certainly easier than having to put your brain into action and critically think.

Left in 2020 when it was clear that Brexit was not going to be stopped. This very week we are able to apply to get our EU citizenship back, which is fantastic. It is particularly important for my autistic son to have his EU rights.

They really do!

LOL,
wonder how that worked out for them!