Calling my unborn baby they/them

[Irish24]

I am keeping the gender a surprise and the amount of people that are confused when I refer to the baby as they/them’ is starting to aggravate me. I don’t like referring to them as ‘it’ or just ‘baby’. They/them is a word and has been going around for centuries. It also is a singular pronoun and does not always mean multiple. My friends say they can’t get their head around it. I don’t understand. I know they/them is a controversial topic these days and more people are perhaps finding out the gender. I still don’t find it confusing at all and it never even occurred to me that it would be. Anyone else experienced this or am I being over dramatic here? It’s just tiresome having to constantly explain to people, I don’t know the gender so that’s why I’m calling the baby ‘them/they’

Why on earth would you use the object pronoun in place of the subject pronoun? Or use incorrect verb conjugations for the singular they? You're being deliberately obtuse.

Try substituting actual correct grammar. So in response to the question, "when is the baby due", the response is:

"They're due on 10 June, unless they come early. They are kicking up a real storm today, they've clearly enjoyed the snack I had earlier! We have assembled their cot but they won't use it for a while, they will be in their Moses basket in our room until they are about six months old."

Which is far better than either of the two preceding versions. One was insane and one was intentionally ungrammatical and therefore difficult to engage with.

It is, for the second person as well as the third. I once had an invitation from my boss ‘would you like to come to dinner’ which was intended to include my other half but I assumed just me.

And again! Why do you you think the OP doesn't know how to use the word "their"?

When did OP say they won’t refer the baby as the baby or anything except they/them? You can’t ram a pronoun in where it doesn’t make sense - but this is the correct pronoun in the circumstance, which is what the OP has been saying.

Eh?
But no one would say "They is" or "Them are" under any circumstances, unless they were a new EFL student or something.

Just say you don't understand how grammar works and go.

Have a break xx

You are keeping the SEX as a surprise (which is perfectly reasonable)

But can we stop being scared of that word?

The SEX of your baby will be observed at birth (hope the scans were right, I know someone where they got it wrong!) and then you can surprise everyone which I am sure you are looking forward to.

I really can't see what's wrong with saying 'the baby' though...

Can always use it, though some people don't like it. Pretty sure that's what I substituted for 'the baby' as sentences continued.

they is = they are or they're
them has = they have
thems = their

Why are you trying to pretend words like "their" and "are" don't exist to make your point?!

But it hasn't. They/them has always been used if you don't know the sex of the person you are referring to.
"Someone stole my car I hope they are pleased with themselves"

Oh yes, English would definitely benefit from second person plural, would prevent a lot of misunderstandings.

No, no - the anti-they brigade MUST lengthen their sentences unnecessarily, just to prove how un-woke they are.

"Someone has stolen my car. I hope HE OR SHE is happy with HIS OR HERSELF".

Extra non-woke points for going to extremes. "A person who is either male or female AS WE ALL ARE has stolen my car, I hope the MALE MAN or the FEMALE WOMAN is happy with HIS MALE SELF or HER FEMALE SELF".

They or them suggests multiple, sorry. Most people would say “the baby/baby/it”

True but they also didn't use "is" in a sentance where "are" would have been both grammitcally correct and normal sounding

I’ve just been in Tesco and saw plenty of “it’s a boy” and “it’s a girl” cards and I’m just wondering if the posters on here have written a letter to complain that they must now stock “it’s a male” and “it’s a female” cards. I mean how lovely and warm and fuzzy to receive one of those….

Are you waiting for the baby to figure out what gender it would like to be?
You keep saying gender rather than sex. Sex is definite gender you can change. When you have the baby it might be gender fluid and be a girl on Monday and then a boy on Wednesday.
Your wording is what is confusing people.

what's the confusion?
"I'm not sure when the baby is going to be born, I'm sure they'll make an appearance when they're ready"
using 'they' is a completely valid use of language?

You genuinely think that OP says 'them is kicking'?

You are being totally ridiculous.

Somebody was bored at 3am.

I'm wondering why my text message of "it's a boy, we've called him James" after giving birth was any more attention seeking than the one my friend sent at 20 weeks saying "just had a scan, it's a boy"

Anyway. 20 years ago I used a mixture of they/ they/ baby/ he or she for my unborn babies. (2 singular babies, not twins) as did most other people who hadn't found out what they were having. I hate "it" for a person. Awful term.

Haha, well we Scots (and some others) like "Yous" and the Americsn have their "Y'all" !

No one's actually said that, though. The usage has been around for centuries but has fallen in and out of "acceptability". The 1926 Dictionary of Modern English Usage described the usage as having an "old fashioned sound"; its current use has had widespread acceptance since at least the 1990s.

It's worth noting that "it" was never the preferred alternative - it was "he". When that stopped being acceptable to many, the usage of "they" was widely substituted in preference to "it".

In the 1950s, you might have said "someone has left his umbrella behind."

For many decades now, most people would say, with equal grammatical correctness, "someone has left their umbrella behind."

"Someone has left his or her umbrella behind" is also correct but very formal; "someone has left its umbrella behind" not so much.

OP please announce your child’s birth with a loving statement declaring “THEM BE BABY”

Ummm, isn't that definitely plural "spies", "battalions" but I did my Lit degree too long ago to start an argument this late at night ( Aus).