Calling my unborn baby they/them

[Irish24]

I am keeping the gender a surprise and the amount of people that are confused when I refer to the baby as they/them’ is starting to aggravate me. I don’t like referring to them as ‘it’ or just ‘baby’. They/them is a word and has been going around for centuries. It also is a singular pronoun and does not always mean multiple. My friends say they can’t get their head around it. I don’t understand. I know they/them is a controversial topic these days and more people are perhaps finding out the gender. I still don’t find it confusing at all and it never even occurred to me that it would be. Anyone else experienced this or am I being over dramatic here? It’s just tiresome having to constantly explain to people, I don’t know the gender so that’s why I’m calling the baby ‘them/they’

Of course I’m real. Which bit don’t you believe?

Guaranteed parents find their kids more interesting than other people’s kids. You’ll see it on every thread on here. New parents are especially obsessed with their own kids, they need to be. But don’t expect the rest of the world to be so entranced by you and your offspring. Bar family perhaps.

Unless you are some sort of queen bee who expects the rest of the world to revolve around you and your kids?

Secondly yes, the big secrecy colleague was vaguely annoying and weird. I didn’t care. She cared about it loads more than anyone else! People asked simply coz she knew, and they wanted to get her something.

I haven’t seen her since she had her kid (a girl). She was a work colleague, so not on my radar and she’s not a mate. I do remember finding her odd though!

It's not confusing at all. They / them has been used in the singular for hundreds of years, if not more. Some people just like to make an issue of it and pretend not to understand.

You are completely correct to use ‘they/them’ in this situation. It is the correct English when you do not know the sex

For example:

The teacher was very good at their job and the children loved them.

The sex of the teacher has not been specified so you use ‘they/them’ what else would you use?!

Here’s some help guys, it’s really not that fucking hard through

"Someone left their umbrella in the office. Could you please let them know where they can get it?"

"Every student should bring their own materials to class."

"If someone needs help, they should ask for assistance."

"When a new student joins the class, it's important that they feel welcome and included."

Oh no wait, we should say “If someone needs help THE BABY should ask” because they is a woke word for alphabet people or something, right?

It’s not like the Oxford dictionary traces THEY as a singular use pronoun back to 1375, is it?

Oh wait - yes it is 😃

It's great LOL

They can be a SINGULAR PERSONAL PRONOUN. "It" is more commonly used as a NON-PERSONAL PRONOUN. HTH.

🎉 Joyfully opens can of worms on the personhood of the unborn 🎉

I always wonder this about the people that jump into a thread to correct gender to sex.

I was one of the first tranche of pregnant women to have a scan at all and it did not reveal the sex as it was only at 13 weeks.

I like pedantry. But do you also never refer to biros or sellotape or bubble-wrap or googling or Vaseline unless you’re using the original brands?

They has been traditionally used in singular in situations where no misunderstandings would arise. In your situation people could think you are having twins or triplets. You are being utterly precious.

I only opened the thread for the replies. It didn’t disappoint.

Surprise for whom? Why do you think anybody gives a shit? I wouldn't give a shit what mine are, as long as they are happy and healthy, so why do you think anybody cares for you to keep this mystification? Are you a royal in a country where sex is important in terms of succession?

'twwannnsphobes'. (facepalm) You say more about yourself than anyone else when resorting to that misogynist bullshit.

People are either very stupid or they are so frothing at the idea of adult humans using they/them pronouns that they feel they have to double down and come after the OP for using perfectly normal and correct grammar to refer to her unborn baby.

YANBU OP.

What THEY said 😆. Seriously tho. Spot on.

Not to be pedantic but you are not waiting to find out the gender, you are waiting to find out the baby's sex.

This. I’m fascinated. When someone tells them they’re having a gender reveal do they respond “I think you’ll find it’s a sex reveal!”

When someone tells them they’re having a boy do they respond “actually you’re having a male”

I am so curious as to how they actually operate in society, not on the internet.

Her OP also included:

'It’s just tiresome having to constantly explain to people, I don’t know the gender so that’s why I’m calling the baby ‘them/they’'

That is not ambiguous so OP was clear that she hadn't found out the sex of her baby herself.

Weird! I used they /them before I found out baby's sex. My aggravating sibling kept insisting on calling baby "it" on the basis that "it's a fetus", but most people understood why I was using they / them.

And yet they seem to manage this in pretty much all other medical fields.

"The mother" is far better than "and then mum will need to..." The "mum" thing is bizarre.

Shakespear used "They" as a singular pronoun in Hamlet - why are people trying to pretend this is a new thing?!

Bizzare!

A surprise for themselves? They don't know the sex.

"Move your bag, If someone walks in here they will trip over it."
NOT plural, just a person whose gender you don't know.
Stop confusing yourselves. OP is using something totally grammatically correct.

You can't keep saying baby or the baby or he or she if you're opposed to using 'it'. Imagine a full sentence:
"When baby is here I will take baby to see baby's great granny and great granny will be thrilled to meet baby."
or
"When baby is here I will take him or her to see his or her great granny and great granny will be thrilled to meet him or her."
Or the simpler: "When the baby is here I will take them to see their great granny and great granny will be thrilled to meet them."

Surely, you’re not reduced to just ‘a mum’. It’s a promotion and a title, similar to being called the queen!

I very much doubt this third sentence.