To have this reaction to Netflix’s Adolescence

[Marigoldsold]

This show has really got me and I can’t stop thinking about it.

A show about a murder of a young girl by a young boy.

I have cried over it , I have a little boy myself - I have gone and cuddled him tight after it. The scene at the end , the very last one … I cried like a baby.

What shocked me is that those tears and sadness was for the boy. The murderer.

I don’t think that he didn’t do it , or that the victim deserved it ( obviously ! ) . I don’t think he shouldn’t be in prison etc .

I feel desperately sad that a little boy , who slept with a Teddy , liked drawing and had child’s wallpaper on his walls ended up doing that. That after he did it and his dad knew .. he still reached out to him for comfort. That he was a child .

I think it’s really opened my eyes . We always hear of horrible crimes and pray our child will never be that poor victim and do whatever we can to prevent that. But we never sit and think that actually it could be our child who does that and that is also something we could prevent and should be trying to .

i think it’s the fact the show focused on the murderer rather than the victim and that it wasn’t a child who had been abused and neglected , it wasn’t a child that had had a bad life , it wasn’t a child that was so called “ born evil , it wasn’t a child that had psychotic tendencies or was a ‘ psychopath ‘ .. he was a normal child.

At least the boys family still have their son. The cases of rejected teenage boys / young men killing girlfriends that dare to dump them terrifies me. There are numerous instances of this happening one local to me. Lovely normal 17 year girl killed outright when she ended her relationship. Parents devastated. And John Hunts family. Alice Ruggles. So admit I find it odd you are more worried for your son than your daughter.

I think the boy Jamie should have been died that night. I felt a sense of grief for that little boy.

I'm glad that it blew up the idea of what a killer looks like. The mugshots of monster teens in the papers are always quite reassuringly alien to me. But Adolescence shows the big picture; they're just children.

It's horrifying. We won't fix it until we realise it's not just something that happens to other people with different lives to ours. It's been a wake up call.

Parents worrying about their sons could prevent women suffering like those poor women you have mentioned though.

I think the boy Jamie should have been died that night. I felt a sense of grief for that little boy.

Couldn’t have put it any better .

Last scene is so powerful and gut wrenching.

The final half of that final episode was so hard hitting.

I feel desperately sad that a little boy , who slept with a Teddy , liked drawing and had child’s wallpaper on his walls ended up doing that. That after he did it and his dad knew .. he still reached out to him for comfort. That he was a child .

A Child who stabbed another child with a kitchen knife several times because she wouldn't go on a date with him. He wasn't so childlike that he assumed should be weak and agree to go on a date with him because everyone else was laughing at her for the naked pictures of her tits (his words). That was pretty manipulative for a thirteen year old.

I didn't feel any sympathy for him whinging about being scared of needles for a blood tests when he'd stabbed someone in cold blood.

He showed not one shred of remorse and only thought of himself. I couldn't feel for him.

I watched Adolescence the day it came out and I've def been chatting to my teenagers about what they see online. It was so easy to control screen time when they were younger but not as easy now even with restrictions in place and limited access to social media.

I also watched the Brianna Ghey story today and found that a difficult watch too. I realise not quite the same but children killing children after seeing completely inappropriate things online to the extent it was normalised and showed little remorse, all from seemingly 'normal' families.

@howchildrenreallylearn
There was a thread here the other day from a step mum who realised her 7 year old step son is on an iPad for up to 8 hours every day. No restrictions, no checking what’s he looking at, no monitoring
So yes it happens

That’s terrifying

It is a fictional show.
All murderers and pshycopaths were sweet babies and children once. The boy in this show just peaked early. I took from the show that he was a bit of a physchopath, he wasn't a normal child. Probably lucky he got caught age 13 or he could have gone on to be a serial killer of women.
I didn't feel sorry for him. Some people are born with a screw loose and commit hideous crimes.

Isn't that a bit simplistic though? Doesn't that take responsibility away from parents, schools and social media misogyny?

Interesting thread. I really felt for him in the first episode because obviously having not seen thought there was a chance he could be innocent. Episode 3 was eye opening, the manipulation, control, mocking and aggression towards the pyschologist. Definitely goes beyond the concept of a normal child. I work in a school and I kept thinking, you couldn't let him back out into public, he'll kill another woman who rejects him except in a few years time, he'll be physically bigger and stronger

I agree. Episode 3 showed his mindset was absolutely not in line with "normal" human behaviour. He manipulated and controlled that room with feigned interest, sweetness, self pity and eventually aggression when he realised he couldn't control the psychologist. He's a dangerous individual who probably would have gone on to murder more women who rejected him in his later years. I actually found it so unnerving when he would mock her in the room or repeat things back to her. It was like a switch flipping in him.

I think it displays psychopath behaviour really well though. They do exist

Hmm, maybe if we started charging parents for the crimes their kids commit then we'd see better parenting.
I will never forget the arrogant kids who murdered Yusuf Mackie walking free, into the arms of their "loving" and very wealthy parents.
No doubt they seemed "perfect" parents in the eyes of all around them, but come on?
Raising well balanced kids is more than just putting them in an expensive private school.
Well brought up kids don't carry knives and use them to kill. They just don't.
There is a lot of really useless parenting going on in this country. As a nation we need to talk about that.

They do exist but Jamie was most definitely not a psychopath. He portrayed a lack of empathy and impulsivity yes, but the yearning he has for connection and approval isn’t a true psychopath. They don’t give a toss. Been in many an assessment observing kids diagnosed with conduct disorder to see the massive difference.

Plenty of children have difficult family lives, poor parenting, or worse, and don't kill anyone. He was old enough to know what he was doing. Violence is inherent in males. It's a sad story but no sympathy from me.

I also felt very sorry for him. The actor portrayed the scared little boy underneath it all very well, especially getting that across even during episode 3. I have too many memories of my DS and how sweet he was as a little boy for it not to get to me.

I not sure why people are so surprised by this boys behaviour, there are heaps of kids like him. He didn’t have the trauma that majority of young criminals do in real life. The character had a vile angry personality because he got made fun of.
I didn’t have any sympathy for him at all. Just his parents who should have been paying more attention.

I'm surprised that it's had such an effect. Why is this all so surprising that people are talking about it so much. It's only a programme and there's been loads similar before. Plus it does go on in life alot, there are lots of stabbings every day. Loads of these kind of boys, damaged, people saying it's not 'normal'. The build up to it, the flipping of trying to manipulate the psychologist is what many do when they are trapped so fight or flight mode. Everyone saying they are so shocked, it was so thought provoking, it was a good programme, but I'm surprised it's caused the uproar it has.

I felt sadness for the mum from the last episode. Just how this is her life now, supporting what’s left of her family and putting herself last.

I think explosive temper was a big factor and focus. The granddad, the dad and Jamie all have these traits. The dad said he was physically abused by his dad, and the dad is quick to temper and heightened stress in the last episode. Jamie has explosive anger from being a murderer to acting terribly in the room with the psychologist.

(I grew up with similar male behaviour in my family, it’s frightening).

I think a young boy like Jamie that has these traits is going to be a dangerous kid if he doesn’t get help. I think this show makes me more worried for the world and my DD. When she is older, I want her to be similar to the daughter in the show - a balanced, reflective and funny teen girl and having a good relationship with her parents.

I work with male adults in custody. All convicted of some sort of sexual offence. Many including violent elements.

Some of these men have been in custody since they were 15/16 years old. In their early 20's now. Some are old men, caught late in life on historic offences. It's not so easy to say they're all psychopaths when you dig into their backgrounds, their childhood influences. Their own experience of abuse.

It doesn't make what happened right, and they need to be rehabilitated. But society should be more aware of the subtle influences children and young people experience, often passively, and how we can counter those experiences.

What is becoming obvious though is the increasingly young age of male sex offenders. People who think they can take what they want from (usually) a female and who seek to blame others. The lengths they will go to - drugging, violence. Entitlement.

One young man's excuse - she was a prostitute, she's made false accusations in the past. Another - even though they're a 40yo adult - 'I love her, I'm the same mental age as her' (15yo). A third - 'I've invested time in getting to know them, developed a connection with them (online). I couldn't just walk away' (talking about why they continued to arrange an in person meet when they found out the girl was a minor)

We are making a conscious decision to spend more family time with our teen sons and daughters. To have those conversations about their day. Their hopes and dreams. Encourage them in their passions - whether they're our own or not. We already limit online access by blocking and time limits. We've removed dysfunctional adult family members from our lives. Because of our experiences at their hands and because we don't want our children to grow up thinking that's ok. We apologise to our children when we get it wrong. Model prosocial behaviour. And still worry about getting it wrong and what they might be doing when they're not with us. That one of them will be a victim or will be the perpetrator. It's a very scary world on our own doorstep right now.

Sometimes shows just hit the zeitgeist

I don't know how anyone could sympathise with the horrible kid, he whined like a baby over a needle having stabbed someone and he was a revolting misogynistic bully!
Look at how he opportunistically verbally abused and tried to intimidate the female psychologist....His standing up and swearing and shouting at her infuriated me! And all because he fancied her....🤢
His parents wound me up too, constantly snivelling about him whilst never mentioning the poor young girl he killed.
The wife was gormless! I hated the whole programme.

I watched it and felt really irritated that we learned nothing about the girl he killed.
I found the last episode tedious to be honest.
The one shot camera thing was impressive.
The fact it has started conversations about internet use is good.
very over hyped imo