Massive overreaction to a TV show

[Kilroyonly]

I have watched Adolescence but don’t feel it was in any way relevant to my life nor my children It’s a very good show but it doesn’t resonate & I don’t understand the hype

They make these shows because of people like you....nothing to do with me?!? Until it does! It's a societal issue.

I watched it and then made my DS16 watch it. My first impressions were of the horrific nature of the arrest, of a 14 yr old. I wasn't prepared what was to come. We then we saw the video footage.
Talking to my DS afterwards. He said 'don't worry Mum, I'd never ever kill anyone'. I told him that wasn't the message really. It was about the stupid messages between him and his mates, mostly all bravado but which would most likely be taken literally if anything bad happened.
It's a horrible world we live in. I think if anything, it was a wake up call to 'internet chat' - putting it all out there leaves you open.

I thought it was great. I welled up at the scene where his Mum and Dad were laughing about the embarrassing falling over thing when they were teenagers because it made me feel sad for our kids. We did dumb shit and it just got forgotten about. Now it's everywhere. I'd hate to be a teenager today.

I remember when Ask.fm came out when my eldest was a teen and that stressed the crap out of me. It was just so vile. And 10 years later, it's about 10000 times worse than that for them.

100% agree
it was very contrived
full of false stereotypes

a lot of the hype is an aggressive PR campaign in press

this movie is not about “youth knife crime”. The UK stabbing problems are not this

Why do you feel it isn’t relevant? This could be any family.

Law & Order isn’t relevant to my life but I love it!

Do you struggle with understanding that different things resonate with different people, or that a topic may be relevant to you in the future even if it’s not right now?

It is relevant to anyone with daughters too....
Don't forget a part of the topic was how a teen girl had sent a topless photo to a boy and lost control of that image.
Boys and girls live in society together

F*ING hell, you must be so proud of him! His acting was award winning

It’s telling that we need a whole show, Adolescence, to warn about the dangers of social media, but let’s not pretend previous generations had it all figured out.

The 'good old days' were filled with their own failures rigid stereotypes, systemic inequalities, and a culture that often punished those who didn’t conform.

They may not have had TikTok, but they had plenty of ways to reinforce bad behavior. The difference? Back then, it was dinner table conversations and rigid social norms.

Now, it’s algorithms and viral trends. The problem isn’t just new technology it’s that every generation struggles to raise better people, and history keeps proving how difficult that really is

It goes beyond that though, I think the parents come to realise they have been extremely neglectful in allowing their son to get up to what he did online without their knowledge. They share a degree of responsibility.

Thankfully not all parents demonstrate such poor judgement, hopefully the programme will give lazier parents some pause for thought.

I was also shocked by the general behaviour of most of the children, and found the episode in the school very hard to watch as they were so awful. I find it hard to believe that any school could really be as bad as that.

A teacher not knowing who Andrew Tate is quite concerning.

I hope to God the teacher on this thread isn’t at my school, I’d be worried about pupil safeguarding,

Actually I don’t think they are, the teachers at my dds school are all pretty clued up about Andrew Tate, Incel culture etc, they’ve already completely banned smartphones (locked in form room safes all day)

the only thing I found a bit odd about adolescence and my 25 year old ds also pointed this out is that the programme didn’t go into the role that smartphones play.. it seemed to lay the blame on computers being in bedrooms etc.. but then again maybe that was done deliberately to highlight the parents naivety.smart Phones are such a normal yet insidious part of our everyday life that parents don’t see the danger or rather they do but it’s so hard to not have them. They’re used for everything

Not any family. As I say in my post above, the parents were naive and neglectful. They’d sent their son off to a horrifically dysfunctional school and proceeded to leave him to his own devices without giving any shits. The whole thing was completely in their power to prevent, as they realise (too late) in the end.

Hopefully a lesson to any other parents out there who can’t be arsed to do any actual parenting.

History shows its doubtful, many could of made a difference years before social media yet here we are.

You sure?

You think that "relevance" is the only reason to have a strong reaction to something? You don't think that someone might have an enthusiastic reaction due to the execution of a story, or the artistry, or the novelty?

I have similar views @Kilroyonly.

While the one-shot technique was impressive and performances generally excellent, I found the premise confused.

If it’s to encourage debate about teenage knife murders/attacks, and the impact on families, that’s a different show. The drivers are various. But young men spending time online in their comfortable bedroom in a comfortable home within a stable family isn’t a major factor. And murders of teenage girls are extremely rare. The victims are far more likely to be boys and young men.

The premise of “sons in close and loving families just like ours could become vicious murderers if we don’t check what they’re doing online” just isn’t true.

If it’s to encourage debate about young men being sexist and misogynistic, that would’ve been better explored without the backdrop of a knife murder. And, while we obvs continue to live in a patriarchy, sexism is an issue for both young men and young women, e.g, the “I’m looking for a guy in finance, 6’5”” craze and the sexualisation/emphasis on looks of young women. IMHO Tate’s role as a Bogeyman corrupting the minds of teenage boys is overstated. Most kids pay more attention to the Sidemen.

And challenges for young people aren’t new and were happening long before the internet and continue to happen outside of it. You only have to watch a 70s or 80s series of Grange Hill to realise that. Granted, the internet and smartphones mean kids aren’t necessarily safe from bullying, grooming or damaging ideology (whatever that is, including eating disorders, trad wives etc) even when at home. But, as always, kids who’ve got a supportive family (and teachers) who debate these things, and teach them how to be sensible as they become independent, tend to be able to navigate it.

What’s doubtful? That effective, proactive parenting can prevent many cases of antisocial behaviour and youth crime? I’m afraid I disagree.

Social media certainly makes the task harder these days, but there’s still no excuse to just throw in the towel and not even bother trying.

To get specific, these parents should have:

• had strict parental controls on all devices
• had password access to all phones, socials etc and checked regularly
• no phones overnight / WiFi access after 9PM
• devices removed for any infringements.
• kept a closer track of their son’s movements and activities, who he was hanging out with, given him a curfew.
• ensured that he spent at least some of his time when not at school doing more enriching activities than just hanging around and going on his phone - hobbies, clubs, sports whatever.
• Talked to their son about the dangers of social media, been more present
• sent him to a different school in the hope of a better peer group. A plumber in the north could have afforded to move to a different catchment area

But they did nothing. They buried their heads in the sand.

I believe the take-home message from adolescence is that some parents need to wake up to their responsibilities before it’s too late.

@ProfessionalPirate over-strict parenting of the Just Say No variety doesn’t necessarily equip kids to navigate the world independently. Kids who’ve been mollycoddled, not allowed to play out and driven to organised activities are sometimes less able to navigate risks independently.

And some of the most damaging behaviour (bullying, sex, drugs, self-harm) is in the ‘desirable’, middle class schools, certainly where I live.

It really couldn’t. While worryingly high, teenage knife murders are still extremely rare and if you look at the cases in question, tend to happen in city areas with high levels of poverty and deprivation, and vast inequality, such as London.

You think what I described was over-strict? You might was to re-read my post because I said nothing about mollycoddling or not being allowed to ‘play out’.

We are talking about 13 year olds here. They need rules. They need curfews. They need supervision online. I’m amazed anyone disagrees with this tbh.

As for schools - I didn’t say anything about middle class schools, but the school in adolescence is horrendous, you can’t tell me that a child attending that school won’t have worse outcomes, both academically and socially, than if they attended a more ‘civilised’ one. Some schools will be a better fit for a child than others. It’s up to parents to work this out, take an interest and ensure they do what they can to get into said school. Some of it will be down to luck of course, and what sort of year group you get. I made schools my last point reluctantly because I know that many don’t have the privilege of choice. But I’ve come across parents who just stick their children into whatever school is nearest without giving it a second thought, which I think is pretty lazy.

I gave up watching, mainly because of that teacher woman leading them around and 25 minutes of the police walking up and down stairs.The beginning was excellent though.

I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.

IMHO overtight monitoring of teens can be counterproductive and some of what you describe is quite oppressive, e.g. access to passwords. Teens need privacy too. Once they’re 18, they’re totally private individuals, you can’t monitor, so better to gradually get them ready for that. So many kids starting uni are poorly equipped, as parents have been overprotective.

But, as with most things, when it’s your eldest it can seem more worrying. The transition from child to adult can be hard for parents, as it means gradually letting go, accepting you won’t know everything that goes on in their life unless you have a v open relationship, and supporting them to be responsible for themselves.

Thanks for creating this thread, op. I was dying to talk about this serial as I was a bit underwhelmed by it too.

I found the way it dealt with its issues glib and lacking in insight making it sensational but ultimately somewhat thin. It would have helped if it was longer (say, 8 episodes) and less tricksy - its reliance on the one shot technique for every episode was impressive but it meant that the story took second place to the effect. The acting was immaculate. Ashley Walters has matured into a great performer whose work seems to be informed by his lived experience. Likewise Stephen Graham who is a powerhouse. As for the young boy … the most gifted young performer I have ever seen. What a discovery!

The issues of toxic masculinity resulting in femicide were tacked on. The explanation of Jamie being the victim of bullying (by girls) because he isn’t man enough doesn’t wash with me because it shifts the blame to women who are seen, to some extent, as the creators of a world that excludes incels in favour of Brads. This to me is an inadequate analysis of the continuing rise of male violence against women. A boy murdering a young girl needs to be analysed within the context of a world that is increasingly (and insidiously) misogynistic. This is not the fault of women. Everyone says that boys need more role models. The role models already exist. What is needed is a dismantling of patriarchy.

Caitlyn Moran was interviewed about issues anrising from the show and said that young girls are being praised and given role models while boys are just being told about their toxicity and that we need to start praising boys. What more praise do they need than a world that is skewed in their favour?

Isn’t the rising misogyny part of a backlash against women’s progress? It is akin to the idea that blacks in America are making progress and along comes Trump to put a stop to it, reversing decades of progress.

The despairing sentimentalism of Adolescence didn’t quite do it for me. A tougher intellect than Thorne’s could have delivered a more incisive drama, one that doesn’t place the blame on female success.

This is not to detract from its massive achievement as a drama serial - the one track technique is amazing. Thorne is a great storyteller and they have opened up a big conversation. I hope the conversation is not all handwringing and no action. I hope we don’t give in to a moral panic that demonises youth rather than protecting them (from the world e adults have created).

Good for you 👌🏻🤦‍♀️

Not knowing who Andrew Tate is, shows a disappointing ignorance of current affairs and general knowledge. There are wider political implications to his actions, and he is leading a movement which could adversely affect the children you teach. You might wish to google him.

It is ok not to have watched Baby Reindeer of course; your comment about it being a tedious programme from Christmas is just a bit try-hard though.