Worried I was aggressive in hospital?

[rhythmisadancer3]

Hi, really embarrassed about this and I know nobody on here can fix that directly but I guess I’m just hoping that by posting it might get it off my chest a bit!

basically I got a bit of a telling off from a doctor and whilst I think it was probably more to keep me calm than to actually give me in trouble, I feel so embarrassed in case maybe I was behaving out of order or badly and that’s why they were annoyed at me?

for context I had an emergency cardioversion because of an unstable arythmia. They had started to sedate me but I think they said I became really unwell quickly (I think maybe really low blood pressure) and so they had to do the cardioversion immediately or something along those lines. I was really unwell but was still awake and had very minimal sedation. When I say I felt the whole thing that’s an understatement- it was horrific. I’ve never been electrocuted but I think I probably know what it feels like now! I actually remember the shock in my entire body from my neck to my toes and my body sort of jolted up with it like something from a horror movie. Needless to say I screamed the place down. I remember wailing to the doctors and nurses that it hurt so much and I was completely hysterical, like inconsolable. I wasn’t screaming (after the initial shock!) but was wailing and sobbing. Really embarrassing but I think I had such got such a fright.

the doctors and nurses were amazing with me, and they were reassuring me and calming me down but then I remember they became really serious and strict and were basically saying ‘(my name) stop it now. stop it NOW. Stop this behaviour now.’ And were being really firm as if I was in trouble. I think realistically it was more to stop me freaking out because they knew we would have to do it again because it hadn’t fixed the arrhythmia. But part of me is like, was I behaving really badly? Or was I being loud and out of order or aggressive and that’s why they were annoyed? That bit is a a bit of a blur so whilst I want to believe they were just being firm to keep me calm, part of me is like was I cursing or flailing about or behaving out of order? Obviously I’ll never know now either way but I’m a worrier and I’m like oh god was I behaving aggressively or something and that’s why they were annoyed at me?

they were brilliant- really helpful, had an entire team of people working to help me and they were amazing. I guess I just hate the thought that I was possibly behaving aggressively or agitated or something to have caused them annoyance or upset when they were so kind to me

haha sorry long rant. I know nobody can tell for sure and I’ll never know either way so I’m just going to move on. Just thought I’d post on here in case anyone has had similar and can reassure me that it was probably just them trying to calm me down!

It sounds like they thought you were becoming hysterical, which wouldn’t be good in your medical condition, so they did a verbal version of a face slap. Please don’t worry about it, they will have forgotten about it by now.

I think it’s likely your memory is tainted due to what was going on. The shock will have had an emotional effect (think that’s why shock therapy works for some MH conditions).

I doubt they were angry at you. Either your memory of it is incorrect (as in you’ve perceived anger but it wasn’t), or they could see you were freaking out and sometimes to help someone calm down you have to be firm and loud enough to be heard.

I hope you feel better now and keep well health wise.

Sounds awful and the staff being stern with you does little to negate the pain or stress.Would it be useful to ask for feedback regarding the process and your reaction to the pain.

I imagine they all felt terribly sorry for you. That would have been quite an ordeal. Please don't worry. They would all understand and may even have wondered if they would react the same way if it happened to them.💐

If you were behaving aggressively then it was as a result of the treatment you were being given, and as you won’t be the first person they’ve treated that way so they will have seen it all before.

It sounds like it was a really traumatic experience and no one would expect anyone to be at their best then. Your feeling is probably right that they spoke firmly to you to try and convince you that you were safe and didn’t need to panic. It must have been horrible for you and you probably need some kind of debrief to help you process it.

I was once getting in a real state on the phone and the person at the other end was very sympathetic then suddenly said "now stop it and calm down" in a really stern voice. It was exactly what I needed. Sounds like it also worked in this situation. No harm done 🙂

P.s. my mum had that procedure twice and said it was bloody agony, so my sympathies.

I think you're allowed to slightly deviate from social norms when you're undergoing heart procedures without pain relief. I expect they're used to it.
Hope you're doing ok now.

Quite honestly I don’t believe it is acceptable for them to have spoken to you like that after something horrific and you were that distressed.

You weren't being aggressive at all, just distressed and in pain. They were probably trying to cut through all of that to try to calm you down, rather than have to resort to using medication to treat that as well as your cardiac issues. They won't have been angry or annoyed, rather concerned for you and trying to get the best outcome for you.

Oh yeah 100% I was hysterical. That’s probably an understatement honestly. I remember sobbing and sobbing and wailing because of how much it hurt. I don’t remember being aggressive but was just worried I was and couldn’t remember that part! Yeah I think realistically they were trying to stop me panicking because they knew I needed shocked again and me being hysterical wasn’t exactly helping the situation!

You were subject to a traumatic experience and reacted accordingly. Reacted being the operative word. Don't be hard on yourself.

Like others said it was probably how they handle situations like yours, not because they were angry at you

Sometimes you have to do it. I told someone to calm down and be a parent and that she needed to act like an adult once, I needed her to do CPR on her child and it couldn’t wait
She wrote me a lovely letter afterwards and said thank you for (virtually) giving her a slap that she needed
I was harsh as fuck but nothing else had worked and there wasn’t time to waste as she was the only person there

But yeah it’ll be them just trying to calm you down, I wouldn’t worry about it at all
They will have been through similar hundreds of times

It wouldn’t have gone down well with me if I was in that state and someone just dismissed it.

But then I am already traumatised by the medical profession so that’s probably partly why.

I perform cardioversions, elective and emergency, sometimes this happens and the patients behave exactly as you did. It’s very distressing, not nice to watch at all, we’ve also had to shock someone twice while they were sobbing, which was awful to do. We were informed that other than giving people GA, which isn’t practical or suitable for all patients, there’s nothing we can do to prevent it, it is also likely to be a side effect of the sedation given (Midazolam).

I think they may have been being stern with you to try to calm you down, when patients become very distressed then can thrash around removing monitoring, pulling out cannulas and trying to her off the bed/table, so if a patient was becoming highly highly agitated and wasn’t responding to us reassuring them we may get stern to try to “snap them out of it”. It does work sometimes.

I just want to reassure you that your behaviour was normal, they will have seen it before and they won’t be judging you for it at all, they will probably feel very upset that you were that distressed.

@Orangemintcreamwhat do you do then? I had empathised, tried to calm, used every single tool with years of experience and she’s the only adult there and her child isn’t breathing and she’s ringing 999
Just leave her to carry on screaming? I did what I needed to do, it worked, she calmed down like I had flipped a switch. Sometimes in that job you had to be really firm with people

if it helps... i always 'come out fighting' after i've been sedated due to surgery, i believe its actually more common than you think!

hope you are on the mend x

What do you suggest then? I imagine it's very hard to treat a heart issue in a patient if they're screaming and flailing about, likely making their own situation much worse. Sometimes people need to get a grip to help the situation

That's not being hysterical (which is a very misogynistic word by the way), it was a perfectly rational reaction to extreme pain. Don't be so hard on yourself, you went though something horrific, you should be proud of yourself for getting through it

Well given it’s not the scenario you describe as it was the OP that was being treated not someone else - not be aggressive to the patient.

Yes I imagine it is. I am just pointing out that the behaviour described could have a negligible effect - eg more distress and flailing.

It’s probably difficult to know how to play it in an emergency unfortunately.

It isn't dismissive, it's sometimes necessary, and it works. Doing what the patient needs over what they want isn't dismissive.

The other option is to let the person continue to be hysterical, which can lead to further physical harm and/or an exacerbation of symptoms.

If it helps you feel less alone, I absolutely screamed the place down when I was in resus a few years ago. I was in 10 out of 10 pain. I screamed so loudly the nurses couldn't get cannulas in because I was making them jump. The staff were probably deaf for days afterwards.

It's just one of those things. You're only human remember.

In your opinion it isn’t.

As I have said - some of us are already traumatised and it would likely make the situation worse.

Unfortunately in an emergency you won’t always know a better or easier way to control the situation that works for everyone.