Worried I was aggressive in hospital?

[rhythmisadancer3]

Hi, really embarrassed about this and I know nobody on here can fix that directly but I guess I’m just hoping that by posting it might get it off my chest a bit!

basically I got a bit of a telling off from a doctor and whilst I think it was probably more to keep me calm than to actually give me in trouble, I feel so embarrassed in case maybe I was behaving out of order or badly and that’s why they were annoyed at me?

for context I had an emergency cardioversion because of an unstable arythmia. They had started to sedate me but I think they said I became really unwell quickly (I think maybe really low blood pressure) and so they had to do the cardioversion immediately or something along those lines. I was really unwell but was still awake and had very minimal sedation. When I say I felt the whole thing that’s an understatement- it was horrific. I’ve never been electrocuted but I think I probably know what it feels like now! I actually remember the shock in my entire body from my neck to my toes and my body sort of jolted up with it like something from a horror movie. Needless to say I screamed the place down. I remember wailing to the doctors and nurses that it hurt so much and I was completely hysterical, like inconsolable. I wasn’t screaming (after the initial shock!) but was wailing and sobbing. Really embarrassing but I think I had such got such a fright.

the doctors and nurses were amazing with me, and they were reassuring me and calming me down but then I remember they became really serious and strict and were basically saying ‘(my name) stop it now. stop it NOW. Stop this behaviour now.’ And were being really firm as if I was in trouble. I think realistically it was more to stop me freaking out because they knew we would have to do it again because it hadn’t fixed the arrhythmia. But part of me is like, was I behaving really badly? Or was I being loud and out of order or aggressive and that’s why they were annoyed? That bit is a a bit of a blur so whilst I want to believe they were just being firm to keep me calm, part of me is like was I cursing or flailing about or behaving out of order? Obviously I’ll never know now either way but I’m a worrier and I’m like oh god was I behaving aggressively or something and that’s why they were annoyed at me?

they were brilliant- really helpful, had an entire team of people working to help me and they were amazing. I guess I just hate the thought that I was possibly behaving aggressively or agitated or something to have caused them annoyance or upset when they were so kind to me

haha sorry long rant. I know nobody can tell for sure and I’ll never know either way so I’m just going to move on. Just thought I’d post on here in case anyone has had similar and can reassure me that it was probably just them trying to calm me down!

Thank you! (And everyone)

yeah the team were fab. I honestly can’t emphasise that enough. I think that’s the reason I was worried about being aggressive!

yeah ive had countless cardioversions in the past and I barely remember most of them. This one was different though because they intended to have me fully sedated but im sure they said as they started the sedation my blood pressure started crashing from the arythmia and I think there basically wasn’t time so they had to do it immediately (maybe completely wrong but I’m sure what’s they said)

I think we all do things completely out of character when we are scared and in pain. Medical staff are very good at dealing with it and they probably don’t give it a second thought afterwards.

A couple of my more memorable outbursts are swearing at the dentist in hospital who was trying to do a complicated extraction on me. Apparently I told him it was my fucking tooth and I wanted to keep it and wear it as a necklace. The fact it was in multiple pieces hence the reason I was there didn’t appear to cross my mind.

And when the sedation wore off during a colonoscopy, I screamed the place down and was told to shut up as I was scaring the other patients. More drugs swiftly followed!

They sound like they were trying to jolt you out of your panic. I become aggressive after sedation , literally shouting and swearing , I never remember and I can't help it but it's very embarrassing

I mean- if you could have your body electrocuted whilst fully conscious and aware, and NOT be upset or as you said, ‘screaming like a banshee’ then you’re lying!

High drama? FFS.

Pure instinctive reaction to pain. They’ll have seen it before and they’ll see it again. It’s not like you were personally insulting them or hurling abuse. You were in pain and scared.
If it makes you feel better I tried to punch a doctor when under not enough sedation. He was inserting a camera and obviously it hurt as I drowsily remember someone screaming ( didn’t realise it was me) and I was told afterwards my fist was going for the doctor. When I had the same procedure again a few years later I warned them to give me the maximum sedation.
You can’t argue with fight or flight instinct.

@Orangemintcream the kid would have died if she hadn’t done that!

Exactly this. You never hear a man describing himself as hysterical when he is experiencing pain, fear or heightened emotions.

Your reaction was common OP and the medical staff will have forgotten completely about it. Give yourself some grace.

i am a doctor. You need to have control in these situations or else it gets chaotic very quickly and outcomes can be affected.

Electro-cardioversion is not a nice procedure so you have my sympathy. You were also probably feeling like crap from the arrhythmia.

However, you couldn’t be left to be hysterical - it’s not safe. And if you hadn’t calmed down, they’d have had to physically restrain you which would make matters worse.

To the pp who say doctors/nurses are uncaring, they should take time to reassure and comfort you, etc - most aren’t uncaring (though some are). But it’s not easy for us either when someone’s hysterical and you’re trying to give life-saving care. And sometimes, there really isn’t time to soothe and comfort someone.

I’m an a and e nurse and normally I get quite annoyed with hysterical patients but in this case you’re not in the wrong, you were reacting to a horrific situation and I really hope you feel better soon and it never happens again xxxx

Honestly don't worry about it, they are use to people acting allsorts of ways its just another day at work to them it will be completely forgotten about. I would imagine they was stern purely to help you as being hysterical would be making the situation worse and they needed you to calm down. The nicey nice approach very rarely works when people get to this point. I'm glad your OK and seriously don't stress over it

I think the comment from @OneQuirkyPanda, who carries out this procedure, is probably most useful to you.

Shit, I didn’t even realise that being restrained was even a thing! Although makes sense because obviously it’s making the job much harder for the staff so I understand why. I’m very glad their stern chat with me worked!

something I was sort of curious about I suppose is I vaguely remember saying no more shocks over and over again because I was so upset and frightened but they were telling me I needed it again (which obviously I did, and it worked the next time thankfully) but I guess when you’re in that state they take over and you can’t decide whether you get more treatment or not? As in, I was unwell because of the arythmia and my blood pressure was getting ridiculously low, so presumably even if I had insisted on not being cardioverted again they’d have done it anyway? Only asking because part of me is worried deep down if it happens again and I get frightened and out of panic say I don’t want to be shocked again, and then they take that to mean I’m refusing treatment and they listen and actually the arythmia doesn’t get fixed. Thinking maybe next time telling them in advance than if I get upset and start declining another shock that I want them to do it anyway if they feel it’s the best option

I’m a doctor I have cardioverted people myself who are sedated. I’ve seen it done when someone is so near death they don’t need sedation/too sick to have it. But doing it on someone with no sedation whilst necessary is a wee bit savage. I’m not surprised you were agitated, please don’t worry. You have gone through a lot be kind to yourself.

It sounds as though it was urgent and necessary but I’m not surprised you had this reaction. I’ve seen people who were sedated still swear loudly at us whereas others experience less pain. We are used to much much worse. Get well soon.

Medical staff are amazing, I woke up after my last operation and held someone’s hand, unsure who’s, and started singing “who the fuck is Alice” giggling because someone said the name Alice.
Sadly the staff were all about 20 years too young to know the song so I just seemed really ludicrous.

Moving during the procedure was likely dangerous, they were doing it for your own benefit.

As a doctor if you seemed delirious and we’re young and otherwise fairly fit but saying you don’t want another shock whilst obviously unwell - and potentially temporarily cognitively compromised I would still shock you if it was life or death. If I had more time to wait I’d call my consultant. But I think most would still give you life saving treatment not just let you die. Don’t worry.

Maybe you're in the wrong profession if you're getting annoyed with hysterical patients...

Aww forgive yourself, it was a scary situation. I'm sure the medical team just wanted you to be ok.

Yeah usually when I’ve had it done before I’m completely out cold and don’t remember it at all!

I think I vaguely remember them starting the sedation and then I’m sure my blood pressure was a bit low (I want to say 50 or 60 over something but that might be wrong) and then it suddenly got very very busy and a bit chaotic and then all I remember was the shock!

thank you very much!

We would do it anyway regardless of anything you said in that moment, because if we didn’t you would likely end up in cardiac arrest. It would be assumed you were lacking in capacity due to the effects of the arrhythmia, sedation and emotional distress, so unable to make an informed decision regarding your care.

What do you care? You did not assault anyone - the rest is just stress, fear and pain. It is their job.

Agree it's people like this who give health care workers a bad name

Not the same but I remember once with a woman who had a shoulder dystocia and started panicking I did go into 'stern teacher/parent' mode (I'm a midwife) and that 'stop this NOW' did refocus her, got her back to cooperate and we got baby got and all was fine

I did apologise afterwards but it's not because I was annoyed or thought she was out of order it was just the quickest way to snap her out of the cycle of panic she was in - and thats what happened to you - don't worry about it