Worried I was aggressive in hospital?

[rhythmisadancer3]

Hi, really embarrassed about this and I know nobody on here can fix that directly but I guess I’m just hoping that by posting it might get it off my chest a bit!

basically I got a bit of a telling off from a doctor and whilst I think it was probably more to keep me calm than to actually give me in trouble, I feel so embarrassed in case maybe I was behaving out of order or badly and that’s why they were annoyed at me?

for context I had an emergency cardioversion because of an unstable arythmia. They had started to sedate me but I think they said I became really unwell quickly (I think maybe really low blood pressure) and so they had to do the cardioversion immediately or something along those lines. I was really unwell but was still awake and had very minimal sedation. When I say I felt the whole thing that’s an understatement- it was horrific. I’ve never been electrocuted but I think I probably know what it feels like now! I actually remember the shock in my entire body from my neck to my toes and my body sort of jolted up with it like something from a horror movie. Needless to say I screamed the place down. I remember wailing to the doctors and nurses that it hurt so much and I was completely hysterical, like inconsolable. I wasn’t screaming (after the initial shock!) but was wailing and sobbing. Really embarrassing but I think I had such got such a fright.

the doctors and nurses were amazing with me, and they were reassuring me and calming me down but then I remember they became really serious and strict and were basically saying ‘(my name) stop it now. stop it NOW. Stop this behaviour now.’ And were being really firm as if I was in trouble. I think realistically it was more to stop me freaking out because they knew we would have to do it again because it hadn’t fixed the arrhythmia. But part of me is like, was I behaving really badly? Or was I being loud and out of order or aggressive and that’s why they were annoyed? That bit is a a bit of a blur so whilst I want to believe they were just being firm to keep me calm, part of me is like was I cursing or flailing about or behaving out of order? Obviously I’ll never know now either way but I’m a worrier and I’m like oh god was I behaving aggressively or something and that’s why they were annoyed at me?

they were brilliant- really helpful, had an entire team of people working to help me and they were amazing. I guess I just hate the thought that I was possibly behaving aggressively or agitated or something to have caused them annoyance or upset when they were so kind to me

haha sorry long rant. I know nobody can tell for sure and I’ll never know either way so I’m just going to move on. Just thought I’d post on here in case anyone has had similar and can reassure me that it was probably just them trying to calm me down!

It sounds as though they were doing their best to help you. It may have seemed harsh but they are (I assume) experienced professionals and know that sometimes that approach can be best. I'm sure they didn't blink an eye at your behaviour, it was probably something they've seen many times. I really wouldn't worry about it.

A friend of mine had a very serious operation and reacted quite badly to being under general anaesthesia. After the surgery but before the effects of the GA had worn off, she thought she was being very polite to everyone. In fact, she kept shouting and calling the nurses and doctors "you damn fools." 😅 She is the most gentle person in the world, it was entirely out of character. Sedation can do weird things to us.

In the days when they used to use some sort of gas as a sedative for dentistry, my very sedate Granny punched the dentist on three separate occasions. Her husband commented that you’d think he”d have learnt to stand back! She was mortified.
I’m sure they will have seen it all before OP. Hope you’re feeling better.

I was apparently restrained once I don't remember it I had a bleed on my brain and had become violent. You have to do what you have to do. Although I could of done without the police being called on me

They’ll of tried all the reassuring niceties but in a situation like this it’s imperative to get control of it as it’s dangerous to let it escalate out of control that’s the most important thing

That sounds absolutely fucking terrifying. As all the doctors have said and many other posters your reaction was normal and not out of order given the situation. I hope you have been reassured that they're not gonna pay a blind bit of attention to you saying you don't want the treatment if the same kind of situation should arise.

Just look after yourself and don't worry any more about your behaviour, which just sounds perfectly normal!

I think you're very 'brave' to have been through this more than once even with different levels of sedation. In your situation, I properly start screaming before they started putting the sedation in.

I've had to have a few medical things lately, and I have discovered that I'm actually a bloody wimp!!

Take care of yourself🌷

Please don't worry, you sound like you had a normal reaction to the pain and shock.

I'm calm 99% of the time but highly unpredicatable when in pain and as much as I try I can't stop it, there are reasons why I can suddenly turn and I do tell them prior to anything that might cause issues.. I've been physically restrained a number of times, it usually takes up a lot of staff and there is a lot of telling off, it never calms anything down, if anything it makes it way worse.

So I agree with other PP they staff will have seen and endured much worse than you and I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through that, it sounds dreadful.

Medical professionals, well good ones anyway, are more than used to grumpy / agitated / anxious / stressed etc. people. When we meet the good folks of A&E we are not at our best, and most of the A&E professionals are used to that.

In my profession (teaching) I see people at their best and sometimes their worst, but I don't hold a grudge against unruly pupils, just as a good doctor or nurse won't hold a grudge against a less than co-operative patient - it comes with the territory.

If you want to give them a boost send a card and box of chocolates to the department to thank them for their help - they almost certainly won't remember you, but we all like a thank you!

OP this sounds like a hideously traumatic experience, and I think you should pat yourself on the back for getting through it, rather than feeling guilty about reacting entirely naturally.

To the medical professionals here; I'm interested to know how consent is handled in this situation. A patient who consented to have this procedure with anaesthesia wouldn't necessarily also want it without anaesthesia, and anyway, consent can be withdrawn at any time. If a patient is screaming in pain and for a procedure to end, surely the team should stop and calmly establish consent, rather than sternly telling the patient to be quiet in case they need to repeat it?

maybe I didn’t ask you for your opinion?
was simply trying to make her feel better

you try having sympathy for someone who’s hysterical because their acrylic nail fell off
bore off.

Oh change of tune here I see.
bore off twice.

OP I am sorry this happened. It sounds terrifying. You had no sense of control. This was different to every other similar procedure you had had. No wonder you freaked out.

I am a hospital consultant of many years. I think your reaction was understandable. We humans are unpredictable creatures and are not robots! I hope the medical team acted out of urgency and the need for firmness rather than any malign intentions. They could have been very stressed too at the time and needed to get on with the procedure fast.

Anyway, one thing I promise you. The doctors and nurses are giving you not one more thought now! Keep that idea in your head. They are cooking dinner, dealing with their kids, wishing their shift would end, studying for exams, or watching Netflix at home! They are getting on with their lives and in the nicest possible way, this episode is not interesting enough for them to be dwelling on it ;-) So you shouldn’t either.

You did nothing wrong.

It sounds pretty traumatising though. Perhaps think about asking for a debrief or discussion about it at some point.

OP, please don't worry. They've seen it all and will have forgotten about it now. They'll be used to people reacting in pain!
When I was having my DS I had an epic panic attack about having to have a cannula put in my hand for my emergency c-section.. I cried, shouted and howled and it was horrendous and afterwards I felt a right prat. They were lovely and fine about it but did sternly tell me to CALM DOWN which eventually I did.
Hope you are ok

During the final stage of my bad first birth I was choking on my own vomit and screaming in pain. The crash team were there and the head midwife leant into my face and basically was the same, really strict talking and saying ‘scream DOWN into the push, we need baby out NOW’. After I wanted to apologise for being hysterical but essentially my screaming wasn’t helpful in a dangerous situation and they were trying to get me to focus and calm to make sure we were both ok.
Please try not to worry, they will have seen it all.

Perhaps write a thank you note and put a sentence in apologising if you were being loud or leary - make a bit of a joke about it. So if you were, you've apologised, and if you weren't you've said thank you!

They'll have seen thousands of people behaving badly. This wasn't one of those occasions. You were in agony, so reacted, they tried to calm you down. Don't give it another moments thought, they surely won't. Hope you're doing well now.

I am sure they totally understood! What you went through with that is something no one wants to experience. Do you remember the hospital shows when they are going to shock someone, and they say "clear" and then look before they shock the patient? What you had to experience to get your heart in order is what it would feel like if they said "clear" and someone didn't clear.

They weren't angry at you at all. You were not being aggressive or anything. I am betting they all were feeling for you, but they needed to calm you down so they could proceed.

Be gentle on yourself. It's not like you got up from your hospital bed and stabbed someone with the IV pole. What you experienced was traumatic and incredibly painful. Give yourself, and them, some grace.

If life is at risk, consent is not needed. For less serious cases, you would need consent.

This case sounds like an emergency to me. The heart could have stopped. No time for a calm discussion about risks and benefits and getting a signature.

There are some very dangerous heart rhythms. If the poster was going into ventricular fibrillation for example, they would need emergency defib like in the films. Anaesthetic or not, unfortunately.

OP whatever your reaction was, they will have seen many, many others behave the same. I promise you. Humans in pain and fear are volatile and no medical person will blame them for that.

It's just a tool a lot of us healthcare professionals use when other, kinder communication isn't working. A bit like 'good cop bad cop'. It can be very effective at times.

Those nurses/doctors will not have a second thought about your behaviour at the time and will realise it was a high stress situation. Honestly, with everything they see, it's nothing to them. Hope you're feeling better.

Don't worry about the staff in this situation, they will be used to dealing with agitated patients in many circumstances. It doesn't sound like you were aggressive but it is possible that you were so hysterical that you could have caused injury to yourself by thrashing around, or pulled cannulas out/tangled yourself in monitoring leads. Sometimes being stern is the only thing that brings people 'back to reality' for want of a better phrase. It's not usually the first tactic used- I'd always try and be reassuring and explain exactly what's going on but it's not always going to resonate with someone who is terrified and in a lot of pain.

It sounds like a horrible situation for you but it sounds like you were very unstable if your blood pressure was that low so I can see why they went ahead and did it.
Hope you are well now, try not to give it another thought in terms of how the staff felt in the situation.

It’s not supposed to “go down well”, it’s supposed to be effective when the nice method hasn’t worked.

It’s not dismissive - I’m sure they were aware of the pain / trauma but she did need to stop the behaviour.

It’s unfortunate you’ve been traumatised but you can’t let people die or do more damage to themselves to protect their feelings.

That's certainly not true.

From the NHS:

If an adult has the capacity to make a voluntary and informed decision to consent to or refuse a particular treatment, their decision must be respected.
This is still the case even if refusing treatment would result in their death, or the death of their unborn child.

There are some exceptions when treatment may be able to go ahead without the person's consent, even if they're capable of giving their permission.
It may not be necessary to obtain consent if a person:
needs emergency treatment to save their life, but they're incapacitated (for example, they're unconscious) – the reasons why treatment was necessary should be fully explained once they have recovered

This is not the case in OP's example. She was conscious and speaking.

immediately needs an additional emergency procedure during an operation – there has to be a clear medical reason why it would be unsafe to wait to obtain consent
Again, not the case in OP's example - she was conscious and able to give (or not give) consent.

I had a situation in labour where my (lack of) consent was ignored, that caused considerable complications, pain and trauma for me, so hearing about this kind of thing worries me greatly.

@rhythmisadancer3 you had a DC cardioeversion presumably with little sedation due to it being an emergency and it will have been awful for you. Do not feel embarrassed - I haven’t done one for years but they used to be done in theatre with midazolam to sedate the patient as it’s really painful if not. I think they were probably worried because the pain and crying would have been pushing your heart rate up even higher. You are amazing for tolerating the shock and I hope it has fixed your arrhythmia!

🙄

Oh lovely I hope you feel reassured by the medical PP who have answered you that your experience was 'normal behaviour' it sounds like this wasn't your first rodeo and you don't expect it to be your last.
Why not write a letter and pop it inside a thank you card to apologise for getting so (understandably) distressed and thanking them for taking such good care of you. You could also put a paragraph in about how you would like them to override anything you say in distress such as 'no more shocks' if its medically indicated to have one.
You can then either drop the letter in addressed to the staff on shift at this date/time or if you are a frequent flier, take it with you next time you have to go in?
It sounds like a horrible experience and I really hope that you don't have to go through it again.