Mothers Day matters most with young children

[Ponderingwindow]

Just wondering if others share my opinion.

as DD gets to the older teen years, I’m realizing that Mother’s Day doesn’t matter as much as it did when she was a baby and young child. Being a mother isn’t as challenging and all-consuming of a task as your children age.

When you have young children or special needs children regardless of age and it takes all of your attention and energy, that day of acknowledgement means so much.

When they become more independent it feels a bit more like Valentine’s Day. It’s nice to get acknowledged, but it’s fine to
do something quick and simple.

I think as children age there are different challenges, and being a mother can still be all consuming, albeit in a different way, for as long as needed. Mother’s Day mattered to me right to the end of my mother’s life, and it still matters that my children see fit to mark it for me.

Personally, I never really cared about mother's day growing up and I don't really care about it now in respect of my own children. When they're very little, you know anything you do isn't coming from them - probably still the case until they're reasonably old actually!
Mother's day mattered most to me when I wasn't living with my own mum anymore (because I was an adult!). It was always nice to make a bit of an effort to take her flowers and drop in. Now she's gone, I am even more set on this idea.
You're right though about those very early years being the most full on!!

I think it’s for elderly mothers and mothers with young children but also those who feel they don’t get appreciation, as an acknowledgment that they are actually appreciated! Personally I’ll be working and dh is away so I’ve just been hinting to the kids that a card would be appreciated and will ring my mum on the day

I agree op. Plus It’s just a Hallmark event and encourages/guilts people to needlessly spend money. My own DM has said for years ‘don’t bother, I’m not fussed’, although I do always go over either the Sat or Sunday. I take a card and a hamper of edible treats, but I don’t ever expect anything from young adult DC than a card & a hug. I certainly won’t expect to see them when they move out and have their own DC. Mother’s Day is for little DC and young mums imo.

@Bignanna the op is right above yours, we know what you are replying to.

My mum dislikes the concept as too commercial, so I send her a random gift at a random time of year instead. Maybe you could suggest your DD does that.

I disagree. My children are late teens and now any cards presents are bought and chosen by them. Also they might take me out for lunch and I get to chat and socialise with them, which I love. I must add I have an incurable illness which will likely mean I may not have many mothers days left, so it means even more to me. Life gets very busy but it’s about making time for each other .

So now my kids are teens I like them to do something off their own backs for mother's day and my birthday. I like to know that I've raised to be caring enough to think about others if that makes sense? The same goes for their dad on father's day/his birthday and each others birthdays.

I don't require massive fusses to be made though, I'm a low key kind of person and so long as I can see that thought and love has gone into whatever it is I'm a happy woman.

Oh I disagree too, it means more to me with adult and teenage DC as it comes from them rather than DH

But I am totally fine with low key/simple

It’s none of those things to me. For me it’s mainly for teaching dc about being caring and considerate etc and to remind them about the special bond that they have with you as their mother. But yes it’s mainly for when kids are small. It’s obviously an opportunity for adults to celebrate mothers too but that depends on the relationship. It’s difficult for me because I have a complicated relationship with my own family and I had pnd and the few mothers days were awful until I started to recover. I usually get a dip in my mood around this time every year.

I feel the opposite - as my kids get older and more able to choose a gift / decide what they put in a card, it is much more meaningful to me than when they were little.

We didn't celebrate it until they were old enough to choose something

I wouldn't agree. I feel like young children acknowledge you as a mum on a daily basis - the cuddles the spontaneous pictures and telling you they love you. I was always happy for a token on mother's day as I felt appreciated and loved as a mother most days.
Now mine are teens and young adults I've realised I feel I want an acknowledgement more. Nothing major, I don't want to be spoiled or showered with gifts but I'd like to do something with them - spend time with them.

I disagree. Parenting a young child is full on but they tell me they love me daily, they want cuddles daily. I know I’m important to them, even when I don’t feel like I’m being the best mother or on top of everything, I know my child loves me and I’m the centre of their world. I will get gifts organised by DH and crafts organised by nursery but outside of that I also get stickers for “cooking a yummy tea” on a random Monday or I get a cuddle because soft play was “the best adventure”.

As an adult, I still need my mum a lot. Not for helping me get dressed or washing my clothes obviously but she’s a sounding board for my life decisions (along with DH). She provides support for DC. Since having my own child, I’ve appreciated my own mum more and want to do more for her on Mother’s Day. I’ve organised flowers, which feels a bit lacking compared to the gratefulness I feel for my mum but she likes flowers and I’ve picked flowers and colours I know she likes (despite DC insisting she would like black flowers). I don’t live near my mum so can’t spend time with her on Mother’s Day but I’ll still give her a call and hopefully she knows she’s appreciated all year round.

I’m a new mother and this will be my first Mother’s Day and I feel more than ever that I want to celebrate my own mother… having now experienced what she went through, for teaching me to be a mother, for being an amazing grandma. It’s for all mothers as far as I’m concerned!

I’ve done cards for my daughter’s godmothers and aunts who have helped me and her so much this year too. Thank goodness for wonderful women - I’ll take any opportunity to celebrate them!

I disagree. I think it's good for teens/adult children to acknowledge their mums. It's only one day for god's sake. How can anyone not find the time or energy to at least buy a card for the person that gave birth to them?

Personally I don't think mother's day is important it's just another day I don't mind if l children acknowledge it or not. I know they care about me and they show it in different ways throughout the year.
But I don't agree that the early years are the most difficult. The challenges change as your children get older but they are just as difficult

When you have young children or special needs children regardless of age and it takes all of your attention and energy, that day of acknowledgement means so much.

So you think mums of teens or adults don’t deserve any acknowledgement or thanks for what they do for their children?

I disagree.

Might be because I’m a single mum but I appreciate the cups of coffee and what not that my kids make on the day.

Yes, me too. They make me feel that I really matter to them .

My older teen dc is taking me for bottomless brunch. It was her idea and represents shift in our relationship. You are still a mom and they still need you just in different ways. I’m also going out with my mum on Saturday and looking forward to it.

It’s a bit anniversary/Valentine’s Day for me. It’s nice to mark the day but I like to show my appreciation all year round.

People lose their shit about it on Mumsnet, like Christmas, it’s seems to be an occasion where people go a bit nuts and get consumed by drama.

I also saw it less a day about acknowledgement and more a day where you try to get together. So I actually thought it was more about mums of adult children. But I guess everyone see it differently.

I hope you have a lovely Mother’s Day🥰

I disagree. It's great & meaningful when they're adults as they can buy you alcohol 🤣

Little children give you positive feedback every day, with love and cuddles etc.
Teenagers are hard work, emotionally, and that's the age when they're trying to separate by being a tad obnoxious. So a loving gesture from a teen on Mother's Day, means very much more, imo.