Mothers Day matters most with young children

[Ponderingwindow]

Just wondering if others share my opinion.

as DD gets to the older teen years, I’m realizing that Mother’s Day doesn’t matter as much as it did when she was a baby and young child. Being a mother isn’t as challenging and all-consuming of a task as your children age.

When you have young children or special needs children regardless of age and it takes all of your attention and energy, that day of acknowledgement means so much.

When they become more independent it feels a bit more like Valentine’s Day. It’s nice to get acknowledged, but it’s fine to
do something quick and simple.

I agree!

Now mine are 16 and 11 it doesn’t seem a big deal. I can have a lie in any time I want, do things I enjoy fairly frequently. I’m a single parent now and can buy myself daffodils and chocolates, and I have a teasmade to make me tea in bed.

Not to say the kids won’t do those things for me but it wouldn’t be earth shattering if they didn’t.

When they were really little I found it really upsetting when Exh (who was then H) didn’t give me a lie in just that once (he was a shit for this despite claiming he was the early bird in the relationship), didn’t organise to get me something, do anything nice etc

That was when it mattered. I’ll probably have a lovely Mother’s Day this year (we often do something with my Mum or with a friend) but it wouldn’t matter if nothing happened. In fact we’re getting up early to fit in a day out but I COULD have just said “I’m having a lie in” instead, and it wouldn’t have been a problem.

I can’t help but wonder if the OP’s children couldn’t care less and so she’s justifying their lack of care to herself.

Children at different ages and needs have their own challenges.

For me the younger years have been a walk in the park compared to them getting older.

Mothers day doesnt mean anything to me ( I think the love and respect should be a an everyday thing, not just for one day of the year) but its still a novelty for the kids so I leave them to get on with it.

Being a mother isn’t as challenging and all-consuming of a task as your children age

You're hilarious OP. Absolutely fucking hilarious.

It's meaningful at all ages in different ways.
DD2 is now a mother to small children and will love the little gifts and cards they make.
I am mother to adult children and will feel blessed by getting cards and phone calls from them
My mother is in her 90s and now really appreciates anything that acknowledges that we all love her.
Anything that increases human closeness is valuable at all ages

Mine are still little, but I feel it is getting a bit more meaningful as they get older, and I can see how that could continue. A card with a toddler's handprint that's essentially made by the nursery worker is cute, but my 6 year old actually drawing and writing 'Hapy mothers day' means more and I can see/imagine how something small from a grumpy teen could mean much more still.

Finally a young woman who doesn’t just think of herself and want ti be a pampered princess for the day! Refreshing to read.
I am the same. I like spending time with my own mum, will lay flowers on my gran’s grave. I don’t needbto be mollycoddled and made the centrw of attention.
Good for you - you can come again 🤣

I've never thought of it as particularly important or meaningful. Neither as a daughter or now as a mother to primary age children.

@Ponderingwindow hownold are yours? I find my teens time consuming in a different way

that said I disagree entirely at 16 my DD knows exactly what she wants to do for Mother’s Day and celebrate me (and her Nan together) and it is far more special then when they were tiny and had no idea st all

the whole evolution of the UK Mothering Sunday went from the church to older children who were working away visiting their mothers and having a day offlp

Reading the responses, I wonder if my view is just coloured by the fact exh was a shit

this! All of the threads here about arguments as to how to mark the ‘big day’. Sheesh! Show your appreciation throughout the year. Don’t be a mug and do it on one day just because a card company and instagram say that’s what you are supposed to do.

I don't think you can just make up rules as to who is "most deserving" of a card . Parenting actual children takes time and work regardless of age. .

I have proper adult children more than likely the same age as some posters, .My children like me they will give me a card maybe some gift usually flowers, without prompting or their dad reminding them i don't think I'm any less of a mother as the one up to her eyes in poop or trying to negotiate teenagers, I can just remember being there and done all that.

Definitely doing something wrong here because I’m finding motherhood way more full on with teens than when they were little! DD will acknowledge it; DS is very wrapped up in his own challenges at the moment and struggles with the pressure of occasions (ND) so might not, which is fine. I’m looking forward to treating/spending time with my own mum 🥰

This sums up how I feel, when they were little, breakfast in bed and a bunch of daffodils were enough, the day would still end up filled with chores anyway. Added to which my own mum was alive so we always did something with her.
Now they are older and have left home it's important to me that they make an effort to acknowledge it and spending time with them is the thing I enjoy the most as I miss them. I don't want lots of money spent, just a card and hanging out at home is lovely.

YABU but not as much as the first poster who felt it necessary to quote the OP.

@NoneedtoquotetheOP it not just a hallmark event it is one that has religious roots from the 16th Century hence why the date changes so much depending on when Easter is and is around halfway between lent and Easter Sunday - Simnel Cake was made as a break from lent.

20th Centiry became much more hallmark tbf

Funny that people think I don’t get celebrated by my older child these days.

i just think it’s different. When they are little and you feel completely frazzled, it’s really about your spouse showing appreciation. Mine still does, but it is less necessary.

sleeping in and getting breakfast in bed while daddy wrangled a toddler was just a different experience than a nice civilized Sunday lunch.

Not a crime is it? Talk about sweating the small stuff!

i wouldn’t say that I was completely frazzled when dd was smaller, much more than I was when she was a bit older or a teenager - not behind newborn stage when it was all brand new and no sleep. Dh helped on a day to day basis anyway, when not at work, and then we both chipped in when I returned to work as well - much sooner back then due to much shorter automatic maternity leave. Whilst is still did the lost due to being PT I always knew dh appreciated everything I was doing for our family.

i mean that first card is nice - the first time you get a Mother’s Day card will always be a lovely thing.

I loved Mother’s Day cards and home made gifts when dd was of an age to make them herself, often at school and sometimes at home. Those were really special and meant way more than dh ordering some flowers or a gift from some online shop. I still have some of these.

Then as a teen, it was special when dd started to go out of her way to make the dad nice for me, making me drinks, making my breakfast, a nice comment in a card and a small gift she’d selected herself.

Dd is now a young adult, living away from home. Now just getting to spend the day with her would be lovely enough. We are away on holiday together this year so a day with me girl, and dh, enjoying a lovely meal and cocktails overlooking a beautiful landscape will be perfect.

I think it’ll be people using the app version as there is no obvious way to add a post without quoting. The way round it is to click the cross on the quoted bit after pressing quote - but it’s easily forgotten.

I prefer it now mine are older as I know all the effort is from them rather than their Dad so it means more.

I have truthfully never really cared for Mothers Day full stop. It’s just such a non thing for me. I’m always grateful for the gifts and thought that DP and kids put in, but equally wouldn’t be fussed if they didn’t, and truthfully as they’re all getting older I’d rather the money was spent on other things. Youngest is 7. I’ve never felt the need to have a day set aside to celebrate my motherhood, or whatever the day is meant to represent anyway. But then I feel similarly about Valentines Day… all just kind of cheesy commercial fake appreciation days.

Whats wrong with both

Shall we forget about birthdays as well? commercial nonsense

My mum’s 80. Mother’s Day means way more to her now than it ever did when we were little kids. We never went out for it when were kids; we only started doing that when we became adults and she loves it.