Friend lost to church

[Changedusernameforthis2]

Hello
Changed my username for this. I just need to vent I suppose. Friend of many years says she can no longer be friends with me (and a few others) as we are against her faith. She says she only wants friends who are Christians. I'm baffled by this. I grew up with parents who were Christians (mum more than dad ) and I enjoyed church, and have gone intermittently in my adult years. I really enjoy the volunteering element of church and helping with the projects etc but I've always been clear with everyone that I'm not sure I believe in God. There are a few people at every church I have been to who also share this feeling, it's not uncommon.
The church she goes to is pretty fundamental (no gay people, etc and when I went there once, Trump was mentioned in the sermon and half the people clapped. I'm in the UK btw)
I'm equally sad, baffled and annoyed.
I knowntheres nothing I can really do, but I feel like she is being radicalised!

I agree with this advice. I think it’s very sad that, particularly in America, but to some extent here a certain form of Christianity which actually has teachings very different to those of Jesus is branding itself as “true Christianity”.

Dog with a bone, much? It’s pretty obvious why the OP was not naming the church.

This is very true. And very sadly, also CSA. Some fundamentalist evangelical churches still discourage women and children from reporting abuse to the police, as it would ‘bring shame on the church’.

That was very much the case when my DSis and I were growing up and being sexually abused by our F and others. I was shocked a few years ago to be told that it still happens now. A respected pastor I knew discouraged a friend of mine from reporting her XH to the police for sexually abusing her DD. (He also blamed her for not being a good enough wife.

However, I must make it clear that the vast majority of churches are not at all like this. None of the churches I’ve attended as an adult have ever given me the impression that they don’t treat the safeguarding of children with the utmost seriousness.

The church is not the kind of Christian church I have ever belonged to, nor that of the relatives and friends I know. None of whom would break off a friendship because someone was of a different faith or none.

Because its a public forum and that would be very inappropriate

Some of my cousins are like this unfortunately.

They belong to the happy-clappy variety of church, and are really heavily involved. But they've never given a penny to charity, or helped out the less fortunate in their whole lives. They would literally say, "ew!" at the sight of a homeless person.

For people as "god-y" as them, they couldn't be less Christ-like if they tried.

Nuts that there's a poster on this thread tenacious denying that some Christian churches are homophobic, while you compare being gay to natural disasters.

One of my cousins (proper lad, bit of a dick, Tommy Robinson loving type) has suddenly been 'born again' and is dragging the kids to church every weekend.

It sickens me that religion is being brought into the more extreme elements of right-wing Britain and these are the last people I'd ever consider to be 'good Christians'.

I guess they're aping the Republican US. Again, sickening and not something I would want in our society.

My aunt used to drive and pick up 4 different lonely people and take them to a church cream tea. It was different people each time and they would go to a different house each time , the host was always a church person. All lovely, my aunt would then take her passengers for a little drive afterwards. Suddenly a new vicar came and my aunt was no longer “suitable” to collect and take passengers anywhere . The reason of her unsuitability was she didn’t attend church herself. They didn’t have a replacement driver so 4 people each Sunday no longer got an afternoon out. My aunt was quite upset and didn’t understand why she was unsuitable.

The fact no gay people are allowed, and half the people clapped for trump is enough to me make puke, and thank your lucky stars she doesn’t want to be friends.

I have Christian friend, they are pretty laid back, and not fundamentalists, I often disagree with some of their opinions etc but no trump clapping, thankfully, one even dislikes Trump, a lot 😂 no interest in politics so we can happily meet up.

Get away from that lot. They sound like crazy Christians

Steven Hassan has a book called Freedom of Mind - it has helpful ideas for friends and family members of cults. Basically don't critise the church but if you can, ask questions that will hopefully get them thinking for themselves and noticing the contradictions. Be warned, it's a bit like banging your head off a brick wall.

You may not get the chance, but if she does get back in touch again, there's a cult persona so be patient- it's a bit like the dynamic of a domestic violence relationship where the victim can be dependent on the abuser and can't bring themself to see things or to leave.

Fuck Christians who don't walk the talk. You either commit to doing right or you shut the fuck up.

If you're feeling brave, keep trying to engage her. Encourage her to think you are open to being included. Encourage her to explain and to include you. Even if you are not of the same vein, encourage her to share about the restrictions of her church. Just try to stay connected with her so that when she needs a link to the outside world, you are there.

Trump was mentioned in the sermon and half the people clapped.

Ah yes Trump, the bastion of Christianity....thrice (?) divorced, swapped out his wife for a new one every time they got to 40 (until he got too old to bother), Mr "grab them by the pussy", (and wasn't he up for criminal charges?)

Such a representative of Christian values.

He is fighting the satanic new world order, and if you don’t believe me, go and have a look on X, some evangelicals truly believe God saved him so he could save the world 😂

The Bible says that God made the world perfect, but it went wrong after human beings decided to turn from relationship with him and go their own way. So now there are things that God allows to happen but didn’t necessarily directly cause to happen, such as tsunamis and illness.

So are you saying that everyone gets punished, ongoing, because some humans "decided to turn from their relationship with him and went their own way"....,including the Christians? So all the people who didn't go their own way still get punished too?

And what about the babies and toddlers etc. who didn't go their own way, because they're too young to know anything ..... They get punished too because some humans (not even necessarily their parents) went their own way?

And the punishments that God lets happen will continue (including against Christians and children too young to know anything) until the entire human population doesn't turn from their relationship with God? So perpetually?

The second biggest religious population in the world is Muslins; do they count, or are they seen as turning away from God and going their own way (because they don't worship a Christian god)? Or do you believe they do worship the same God, just with different prophets and a different book?

These are the sort of people who voted in Hitler and the Nazi's and thought they'd save Germany (and establish a wonderful new world order).

So what are gay people's options, according to you?

Be single forever.

Be in a same sex relationship but be celibate.

Be in an opposite sex relationship with a person they have no true romantic feelings for and either be celibate or have sex they don't want to have?

What about children?

If they are single or manage to find someone who is the same sex who accepts celibacy ..... Is conception via donor approved of?

If they find someone of the opposite sex who accepts a celibate relationship, again, is turkey baster or Ivf acceptable for them to conceive children?

Where do you think they're going to find people of the opposite sex who will have sexless relationships and will be happy with their children being conceived via turkey baster etc ?

Why would someone choose them when they can find a same sex or opposite sex partner who will have intimacy, and will have children naturally? Why would someone of the opposite sex choose them when they can have a full, real, romantic relationship with someone who is physically & emotionally attracted to them?

Should the gay people have sex they don't want in order to find and keep the opposite sex person? Would you like to have you didn't want with someone of the same sex even though you're heterosexual.... in order to have a relationship or kids?

Would you like to be single for life and/or celibate for life because you're not allowed to have intimacy with someone of the sex that you're physically and emotionally attracted to?

Hopefully this is exhuberance of being a new Christian, and not a faith based on firm foundations.

The seed fell on the rocky ground.

@Skye99

the bible says mixing fibres is wrong, it says eating shellfish is wrong and it says people lived to crazy ages, had babies as old women and brought people back from the dead without even getting into the genesis story…

im a Christian, i know many Christians including clergy and none believe in the literal truth of the bible and most have no issue with gay marriage, we were holding blessings 15 years before they were authorised at my church and I’m proud to be enlightened.

well at least she isn't trying to get you to join or donate.
Yet.

Okay, so in your head being gay is not normal and in your view appears to be on a par with a tsunami or disease as something God allows but which is not good. Are you sure you still wish to argue that your Church is a welcoming place for gay people with you in it? Being gay is as normal has having black hair or blue eyes. I shudder thinking how a vulnerable teenager would feel inside your Church if think this is a good way to behave.

"However, according to the Bible all Christians will be happy for eternity, when they will have ‘no more death, or mourning, or crying, or pain.’ (Revelation 21.4.) "

And where do you think the Jewish children who were sent into gas chambers or subjected to Mengele's experiments will be now @Skye99 ?

Do you think God loves them less? I do not believe in such a God, and I am a Christian.