That moving back to the UK is not going to happen

[Backwoods57]

We have lived in the US for the past 10 years. I constantly get heat from my family in the UK to move back home. I talked it through and its just not going to happen.

Here we have a house, and a camp, I run my own business. We hunt, shoot, fish, camp. The kids are in a great school (DD3 DD6). We have a great life.

If we moved we would sell have to sell up everything, house, guns, cars, motorcycles, I would have to sell the business (I can't move/run it in the UK). DH would refuse to sell camp. So that would mean we would come to the UK with £500-£550k in our pocket.

DH earns the equivalent of £90k, he would be looking at £40-50k for the same job in the UK. I would have to get a minimum wage job. I just don't think we could set up a life, and continue on a trajectory towards retirement. Does my logic make sense?

Your agenda gave itself away with guns.

ok... so ummm dont move back? why are you even asking - what is your AIBU?

Lots of people in the countryside in the UK who do shooting have guns so you would not have to lose the guns necessarily. However the UK is very very crowded with highest population ever and about 900k net immigration a year so the fewer people who return here the better.

I'm happy that you're happy shooting and killing animals. Stay there.

I live in the UK and shoot / own guns, our controls are of course rather stricter, but shooting is a hobby/sport here too.

You would have to buy new, importing them would be an issue, and many gun types that can be easily purchased in the US are entirely banned here. You can own up to .50 Cal rifle in the UK, but there are few ranges you could use it on. Handguns and anything automatic is a no.

Unfortunately this thread is going to be derailed by your mention of guns, but the concerns you have are the same as if you'd moved to a farm in New Zealand, a flat in Sydney or a villa in Spain.

What @GnomeDePlume said in terms of concerns. If you are easy in your mind about the dynamics of aging parents in another country and how you would (or wouldn't) pull your weight or get a say, then shrug off their guilt tripping. If you know you're making the right decision, stick to your guns! (No pun intended!)

I've been shooting since I was 16, here in the UK, and never killed anything - target shooting is by far the main sports shooting here and very popular in the US too, only sheets of paper, or maybe some cans for fun get hurt!

I will say that I have been a spectator to the unedifying spectacle of a friend's aunt who moved to LA many years ago, who expects to have full input into all decisions around her elderly parents in the UK, shows up rarely to "help" and then messes things up without any understanding of what friend's mother remaining in the UK has to do on a day to day basis to support the aging parents. And of course LA aunt says she can't afford to contribute financially because cost of plane tickets over once a year is part of her "help". But is also very expectant of inheritance from elderly parents' house....etc etc

...and your point it? OP has already said they "hunt"

That’s one of my all time favourite typos…..

I cannot think of a worse time to move back to the UK.

What other family can your mum rely on as she ages, or is it just you?

I cannot think of a worse time to be in America. I'd rather be here than there!!

Troll-lol-lol-lol

You took the words out of my mouth. If ever there was a time to leave the US it’s now.

@lazycats if you smell a troll, report to MNHQ - don't derail the thread with trollhunting.

This - stay where you are!

OP, I'm coming at this from the point of view of two decades in the UK away from my home country. I'm getting zero pressure from my family but every now and then we think about whether the grass would be greener at home.

Ultimately we've always come back to - we are settled, relatively prosperous, our kids are doing well, we're in stable jobs that are likely to remain stable.

Moving we could have a bigger house, for sure, and a different lifestyle and closer to a lot more family (DH's are here, mine are at home) but the risks and unknowns have always felt just too high a barrier to overcome. When the kids have finished school the arithmetic might change - right now a lot of our thinking is based on potential impacts (both positive and negative) on our kids.

It's hard being settled at a great distance when your parents are ageing - what was straightforward with parents in their 50s sis very different when they're in their 70s and over. But mine are very clear that our primary responsibility is to our children and our immediate family, rather than centring our parents.

It’s your life. You don’t need to justify it, you can just say you don’t want to move back.

Surely almost all parents who have a child living abroad ,would rather they are here? If you are settled there and doing well then thats great.Do they come over and visit or you come here? Our friends DD is in Oz and they manage a visit most years ,

Know alot about Scandinavian countries do you?You can't move easily to a Scandinavian country if you aren't from there and why would she do that she's from the UK! Equally, it is an odd comparison, culturally the way of life in the U.S couldn't be further from life in Scandinavian countries. If you like the U.S guns and money and individualism, it is pretty much the opposite!

How much are you getting for a secondhand gun? Really enough to consider them part of funding a move abroad?

I constantly get heat from my family in the UK to move back home.

Sounds like you need to manage your family in the UK better.