That moving back to the UK is not going to happen

[Backwoods57]

We have lived in the US for the past 10 years. I constantly get heat from my family in the UK to move back home. I talked it through and its just not going to happen.

Here we have a house, and a camp, I run my own business. We hunt, shoot, fish, camp. The kids are in a great school (DD3 DD6). We have a great life.

If we moved we would sell have to sell up everything, house, guns, cars, motorcycles, I would have to sell the business (I can't move/run it in the UK). DH would refuse to sell camp. So that would mean we would come to the UK with £500-£550k in our pocket.

DH earns the equivalent of £90k, he would be looking at £40-50k for the same job in the UK. I would have to get a minimum wage job. I just don't think we could set up a life, and continue on a trajectory towards retirement. Does my logic make sense?

So dont move back but be aware of the downsides. Everything is fine now but:

• how well are you covered for major/chronic medical conditions?
• are you happy that you will not have any input into your DM's care? If you do try to interfere you will be told to mind your own business
• are you happy that if you are leaving DM's care for other family members to deal with that they will likely resent you?
• what does retirement in the US look like? Or are you planning to move back to the UK when camping, hunting, shooting, fishing is no longer practical when you are more infirm
• are you happy that as time goes by you will have less and less relationship with your family in the UK and that your DCs will probably have none?

If we moved we would sell have to sell up everything, house, guns, cars
Sounds like you've bought into the American dream so I'd stay where you are.
Make sure the guns are locked away.

You're clearly happy where you are

don't be guilted into moving.

Some of the posts on this thread are horrible and unnecessary.

It’s clear that you don’t want to move back to the UK and you don’t have to justify it to anyone except for yourselves.

However, I can understand resentment from your family in the UK if they are left with care responsibilities for your elderly parents. My Uncle left and went to live in Canada which means my mum is left in the UK doing all of the care for my elderly grandma - I know she feels resentment that it has all fallen on her because she lives close by and never left. I don’t think she has ever fallen out with her brother though and she understands why he made that life choice.

Sure. Keep your guns and stay there.

It’s come up on MN before, that’s it pretty obvious that to some people, when family members move overseas they view it as their family member “working abroad” - the assumption is “home” is their home town they grew up in. That of course it’s fine you’re travelling and getting that international experience, but assume at some point you’ll move back. Because of course you’ll move back, you’d want to be at home.

Often it’s buying a house / getting married /having a baby that triggers the realisation that “home” for you and “home” for them are different locations. Seems your family haven’t had that realisation yet and so presume you’ll move “home” eventually.

@FancyBiscuitsLevel I agree with that- it’s particularly common in areas where people tend to stay put around family rather than move away much

And that's why they're nipping your ear - they want you to come and do the grunt work so they don't have to.

You have built your life out there, I'd just be batting their gripes back to them.

Stay then. I personally wouldn't want to be in America now but if you're happy, stay.

It would be for the best if you and your guns stayed in America.

What’s camp?

If you are happy with your life choices why on earth are you worried what family members think of them? It's none of their business.

I’m pleased you’re doing so well financially. Tell your UK family that you have your priorities - & they aren’t them.
(Personally I’d leave the US as fast as I possibly could, but we all have our principles eh?)

Oh, god, you don’t mean you’d have to sell your guns??? Say it’s not so!

As the first poster said, if you don’t want to move, don’t move.

Though we moved back to our home country after almost 30 years away. Financially we’re far worse off, but we wanted to, so we did. It’s been the right choice. Money is not the only category upon which one makes such decisions.

@Backwoods57 do you want to move back or is it the pressure and your feeling guilt ?
Sounds like your family thought it wouldn’t work out and you would want to come back at some point and it’s not what is happening.

So stay where you are. Did you think the whole of MN was going to implore you to come back?

Okay...but you lost me at guns and shooting...

I'm puzzled by your AIBU. You don't want to move back, so don't. What's the question?

Maybe your family want you to move back because they're worried about you having guns around small children.

But if those things are important to you, don't move back. No one can make you.

You definitely sound like the sort of person who would enjoy living in the US more than the UK.

I think you should stay in the US. Seems a better fit for gun toting red necks who like to kill animals for fun.

If you’re happy for your daughters future to be dictated to because of the rich old white men that sit in the White House and determine that should they ever need access to certain healthcare services no matter what the circumstances aren’t allowed then go ahead.

Sounds horrible but it’s the truth.

Stay where you are then.

If you're into guns, shooting and hunting it sounds like you're in the right place and should stay there!

Well, it's not the only thing to consider. As you know, most personal bankruptcy in the US are caused by medical bills. Insurers are notorious for not covering everything. Everyone is okay financially until they're not. In the uk you won't be bankrupted if you need cancer treatment.

High school shootings are a problem, but I guess that doesn't matter to you.Seeing as you d be too upset to sell your guns and come back here.

Just stay where you are.Then and tell your parents no youre not a child.

I'm sure that you factored in family concerns when you migrated.
I don't know why you started the thread, if you want to stay, stay.