Gluttony or Addiction

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I was out with 2 friends over the weekend for a meal and we went for a meal and a few drinks. One friend Jenny is quite overweight and is always trying to lose weight and is talking about going down the Mounjaro route. Melissa is the other girl who is not overweight.

I mentioned I had been in M&S and bought a pack of 4 Yum Yums one of which I had with a cup of tea that morning. I was talking about how nice they were but a bit sweet for my taste. Jenny piped up that she buys a pack of Yum Yums on the way home from work, eats the whole pack in the car and then goes straight to bed because she feels sick. She does this regularly.

Melissa told her that was pure greed and gluttonous and how does she expect to lose weight if she does things like this. Eating until you feel sick is disgusting and she just doesn't understand that mentality at all.

I have never seen Melissa say anything mean at all so she doesn't have form for it. Jenny was very upset and started crying but Melissa was adamant and then went on a rant about taking Mounjaro when you stuff yourself with food until you are sick and how wrong that is.

I tied to diffuse the situation and said...is it not the same as going out and drinking too much and being sick and that it may be a food addiction and people all have something that they do too much of but I think I said the wrong thing and Jenny just picked up her bag and walked out. She has removed herself from the group chat now. Melissa is still standing her ground and saying that she said nothing wrong and it is her opinion that is is piggery to eat like that.

I have tried calling Jenny but she is not answering.

YABU.....Melissa is right and that level if eating is gluttony.
YANBU... Melissa should have shut her mouth and said nothing

It’s a sugar addiction.

It is physical and emotional addiction combined. Then it causes self loathing and binge eating disorder.

Your answers are not mutually exclusive.

Melissa was right, eating that much is gluttony (probably due to food/sugar addiction); but she should have shut the fuck up!!

Criticism is never going to change someone's outlook, it's mean and doesn't help anyone.

Sounds like Melissa is one of those people who resent obese people having access to weight loss injections.

Melissa sounds horrible and not a good friend (or any kind of friend in fact) to Jenny - how completely unaware and nasty! Please message Jenny separately from the group in support, she must be feeling terrible. I couldn't continue to be friends with someone who thought it was ok to talk to another friend like that.

Probably also resents anxious /depressed people having access to anti depressants or anti anxiety meds as they "should just pull themselves together and cheer up" 🙄 there but for the grace of god and all that!

What a twat.

Melissa may be saying what a lot of people may secretly agree with. Her speaking to her friend in such a mean way, in public, is totally unacceptable though. What response was Jenny expecting, to that revelation, I don't know.

Melissa either doesn't like Jenny or has her own issues around food.

People who are content with themselves can hold an opinion without aggressively expressing and hurting someone else.

Jenny's eating us clearly disordered but Melissa's remarks were unnecessarily hurtful.

I was thinking this too. She’s probably one of them on here.

Mellis may have gotten fed up of always hearing about attemots at weightloss and then this?

Perhaps Melissa's shock comment is what Jenny needs?

Many years ago my housemate said something very similar to another housemate about the entire 6 pack of sausage rolls she ate as a snack. It was the shock they needed to actually take some responsibility for their weight and they went on to lose a huge amount.

It may have been a harsh comment but it was also factual.

Jenny has disordered eating. Melissa is a cow.

I would say addiction, it's something I've struggled with my whole life too.

Over the last few years I've lost just over 10 stone but could easily slip back to old ways

I honestly believe obesity should be treated in the same way as anorexia, when I was at my biggest ( I still have about 4 more stone to lose so you can imagine how huge I was) I looked in the mirror and saw a thin person. It's more of a mental issue than most people realise

I used to weigh 23 and a half stone. I was just a greedy fuck to be honest.

now 12 stone lighter. Still a greedy fuck, but was diagnosed with coeliac, so now I can’t eat the whole Greggs counter everyday.

A lot of people don’t like to hear that I was just a glutton who enjoyed stuffing my face though.

Melissa is a walking bitch. I could not be friends with her after that.

Jenny is obviously really struggling and hopefully the mounjaro helps. I meet so many women who are overweight and try tons of methods before they find the one that works for them. It is so nasty and plain stupid for someone like Jenny to think they have the answer to such a complex problem. Of course its not simply gluttony - Jenny clearly does not like being overweight and I'm sure this won't be her first attempt to tackle it.

I'm not sure if it's the same with mounjaro but a lot of people here taking Ozempic describe how it quietens the 'food noise'. They end up just eating when they are hungry instead of getting the pleasure feedback from sugar / simple carbs that keeps people reaching for more.

It's definitely food / sugar addiction. The difference between Jenny and most people (there are various threads here to back up my viewpoint here) is that Jenny is acknowledging that her eating habits are damaging and looking for help.

People who haven’t had food issues just don’t get it. I don’t tell people about mine.

I’ve lost 4st with Mounjaro. I’m still hungry, still eat but I don’t have a constant voice telling me that I need to eat more, that the chocolate etc will drown out the upset and anxiety.

The thing is, Melissa is a cow. What is gained from telling Jenny that? Absolutely nothing other than making herself feel superior.

What do you know about me from my being fat other than I eat too much?

Absolutely fuck all.

No self-control? Well I gave up smoking 20 a day cold turkey so I do.

Lazy? Well I work full time in a responsible role, have hobbies, two disabled children so I’m not sure that is accurate.

Stupid? Well I couldn’t do my job as a stupid person.

Jenny is better off without Melissa and her judgement.

I agree one hundred percent with this. Well done to you for all of your achievements.

Imagine getting that ranty about how someone else eats,I can't ever imagine giving that much of a fuck tbh.

“Gluttony” and “piggery” are just unpleasant and judgemental labels for a behaviour, that this friend of yours enjoys using to humiliate your other friend. It’s not a choice as to whether it’s one or the other, it’s a behaviour and the reasons for that behaviour could be wide and varied. Your friend Melissa seems to have a big issue with people who overeat, way out of proportion to the actual issue.

I’d ask Melissa how she thinks it will help anyone change their behaviour to be told they are a glutton or a pig or disgusting. It’s just going to humiliate them and upset them.

Do you honestly think that Jenny hasn't said those things to herself? She needs support, not judgment. Melissa is a cow.

I could never speak to Melissa again after this. No empathy whatsoever.

@MesmerisingMuoni think your flatmate was unusual in that response. It’s been shown repeatedly that shame and judgement doesn’t help people lose weight, in fact it makes it worse.

Dunno: Melissa is just showing her true colours. I’m fat. Most people in real life never say anything about it, but the hatred online is awful. Mumsnet being one of the worst places for fat shaming.

olease mention to Jenni that falling sleep after too much sugar may be a sign of diabetes, and perhaps she should get her blood sugar tested

What's a "yum yum" and can you post a pic?

I agree.