Gluttony or Addiction

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I was out with 2 friends over the weekend for a meal and we went for a meal and a few drinks. One friend Jenny is quite overweight and is always trying to lose weight and is talking about going down the Mounjaro route. Melissa is the other girl who is not overweight.

I mentioned I had been in M&S and bought a pack of 4 Yum Yums one of which I had with a cup of tea that morning. I was talking about how nice they were but a bit sweet for my taste. Jenny piped up that she buys a pack of Yum Yums on the way home from work, eats the whole pack in the car and then goes straight to bed because she feels sick. She does this regularly.

Melissa told her that was pure greed and gluttonous and how does she expect to lose weight if she does things like this. Eating until you feel sick is disgusting and she just doesn't understand that mentality at all.

I have never seen Melissa say anything mean at all so she doesn't have form for it. Jenny was very upset and started crying but Melissa was adamant and then went on a rant about taking Mounjaro when you stuff yourself with food until you are sick and how wrong that is.

I tied to diffuse the situation and said...is it not the same as going out and drinking too much and being sick and that it may be a food addiction and people all have something that they do too much of but I think I said the wrong thing and Jenny just picked up her bag and walked out. She has removed herself from the group chat now. Melissa is still standing her ground and saying that she said nothing wrong and it is her opinion that is is piggery to eat like that.

I have tried calling Jenny but she is not answering.

YABU.....Melissa is right and that level if eating is gluttony.
YANBU... Melissa should have shut her mouth and said nothing

And yes, guessing it's an addiction rather than gluttony as most people wouldn't physically be able to eat that much. Perhaps Melissa should've pointed her in the way of overeaters anonymous or some form of therapy that would help her regulate her calorie intake to a sensible level.

Wow Melissa is a judgey cunt, isn't she.
I'd find people's venom when talking about gluttonous, lazy fatties slightly more fascinating if I wasn't obese myself, but jeez the vitriol with which some people speak about other women's bodies and food choices is extraordinary.
OP, let Jenny know you've got her back. If you don't think it would be over stepping, perhaps you could let her know that that kind of eating is something Mounjaro is super helpful with. My issue was never unhealthy or overly large meals but was the amount of sugary snacks I was eating. I've pretty much lost interest since starting the jabs. With the yum yums as an eg I could have polished a couple of without thinking, whereas now I'd occasionally have one of the little ones but don't feel that burning need for it and would be very happy with just the small treat.
If she's a MN user the WLI boards are full of supportive people who get it and who would support her in a way Melissa has chosen not to.

Maybe. But sometimes it takes someone else to say it for someone to take action.

That is such an arrogant over-simplistic attitude to a very complex situation.

Melissa is foaming that Jenny is getting help to lose weight. She thinks it’s unfair and ‘cheating’. She wants Jenny to remain fat. She can’t say this so verbally attacks her for being greedy, reassuring herself that not being overweight without using medication is morally superior.

Iv found the weight loss injections are very polarising in different people views.

I may be slightly on a different thought pattern here... Does Melissa have an eating disorder? Only what she said rings true with how I used to think when anorexic. Yes cruel, but that thinking kept you not eating and thin. She may be struggling as well

It’s very easy to see it as Melissa did, though it takes little effort to keep them as inside thoughts. I have friends who are overweight and really do want to slim down/become healthier. I’ve seen the same friends put heart and souls into healthy dinners and plate themselves a portion for about 3 people, or just unable to give up sugar/crisps despite how much they want to lose weight. It’s bloody hard when the things you crave are usually so accessible (and usually cheap to buy in multipacks).

And this isn’t me being patronising. I have issues with eating myself. I’ve been the person who eats until they feel sick, I’m also the person who will reach a stopping point by going completely in the other direction and spend weeks not eating much for days on end. It’s a form of self punishment for some in all honesty, either making themselves feel sick or feel hunger pain as a form of control. It may not be for your friend but ultimately you and Melissa don’t know that. This may be the final kick up the bum, that Melissa will become ‘the shit reason’ that your friend loses a huge amount of weight. Or she may spiral further in self sabotage. Either way, Melissa evidently doesn’t care so do with that/your friendship as you will.

Melissa is a total bitch, lacking in empathy and possibly a bit thick.