To want to get out of this

[Crazycatlayde]

So work have suggested that we have to go into the office for a training session. However, it is an hour away and it is £10 to park, I also will not be back in time to pick the kids up as I haven’t booked them into after school club. How can I get out of this?

When is the training?

Is the training in your contract? How much notice have they given you?

How much notice have they given you?
It's up to you to organise your childcare around the job that pays your salary, not expect work to fit with your childcare, or lack thereof

Tomorrow. I must have missed the email sent last week and now it is too late to book them into club.

How much notice have you had? And are you on a fully remote contract?

I think I'd find solutions to the childcare issue rather than try and get out of it. Can they go home with a friend that day? (I'm picking up DS friend and having him for an hour or so as his dad has to work later than usual today as an exception - happy to do it).

If the training is today, you tell work that you can't make it due to having to collect your children and ask to reschedule, or ask if it is possible to do the training online or over Zoom or Teams.

I don’t think you should get out of it. Make arrangements in advance and suck up the parking. A lot of people have to travel to work and back 5 days a week so what’s one day?

Lol at 'work have suggested'. No they've told you it's happening, work pay you to work, it's not a negotiation (unless you're fully remote).

As as aside, my office is an hour away and it costs me £7 on the train. It's totally normal...

That’s on you then.

Make it their dad's turn to pick them up then.

Well, how long until you do this, do you have time to sort out getting kids collected. Is it mandatory or can you say no?

To be honest, if you want to progress in your job I would just go. Don't use childcare as an excuse, women are trying to be taken seriously in the work place after having children, and it's things like this which is why it's a bloody hard slog. If you have the choice to say no, just say no without coming up with a myriad of excuses.

And 'missing the email' really doesn't indicate that you are effectively wfh...
What if it was more important than a training day?
This is how good stuff gets spoiled for others.

You don't 'get out of it' then.

You apologise for your mistake and tell them you can't do it without childcare.

But that's if you really can't? I suspect you can because otherwise the £10 parking fee would be irrelevant.

What is your agreement with your employer around childcare and your working day?

It is in you for missing the email though. You need to find a childcare solution, not shirk your responsibilities at work.

It’s not your employers fault you missed the email.

If the parking is somewhere that’s not part of your normal commute you can probably claim the cost back.

You can’t compare the cost of your regular commute with the cost of parking somewhere that isn’t your ordinary place of work though.

They're two different things.

Agreed. If it's attendance at the designated place of work she can't but somewhere different she possibly can.

Is it a suggestion or are work expecting you to be there?

I personally think if they've asked you to be there, then you go. Get friends to collect the children/their dad etc. Seems to be a feeling of work being an optional extra.

I usually love going into the office. I am going through a break up at the minute and really don’t feel myself and just can’t face anybody.

What are your working hours and what does your contract say about working flexibly?

It’s significant that your question is ‘how can I get out of it’. It’s your job, for which you are paid, including checking emails.

I’d be unimpressed as your employer.

My parents are on holiday and they would usually do it. Their dad can’t as he works late, I can’t really ask a friend as I have 2 children and it’s a lot.

You'll have to ask someone else to do it by the sound of it.

How to get out of it?

Be honest with your manager. Say you've got some personal problems at the moment, you missed the email last week (apologise - if this is out of character then they'll accept this, if you've got form then it won't look good), and that now you're unable to get child care at short notice. Be wary though because if you only don't need childcare on that day because you wfh they might question your childcare arrangements. If your kids are older primary and wfh allows you to collect them and then they entertain themselves w/o your supervision while you're working then that's OK, but if they're younger and needing supervision then it won't look good that you don't already have childcare in place.

What is the training? Do you need it? Can you do it at another time.

I think if you want to get out of it, you need to do it in a professional manner.

Ah, so they are quite young then. Be careful with the childcare issue.
Are you meant to be working when you collect them from school?

It would be different if the training day meant you could not get back to collect them from after school club/childminder, but not being able to collect them at 3.30pm doesn't look great. What is your line of work?