To feel scared about having kids, especially boys, after watching Adolescence on Netflix?

[ByCheekyDreamer]

Just watched Adolescence on Netflix and it honestly terrified me. Seeing what teenagers, especially boys, go through in today’s world - social media, peer pressure, mental health struggles - makes me wonder how anyone navigates parenting without constant fear. Am I overthinking or do others feel the same?

Is it not a fictional program?

@Mightymoog but based on real influences, which parents cannot ignore. And it won't be solved by just not letting young teens out at night and not on their phones 24/7.

@Mightymoog
Holly Newton aged 15 was not a character in a Netflix drama and nor was 16 year old Logan McPhail who stabbed her to death. Trying to pretend that it's just fiction is doing nobody any favours.

???
I don't understand your response.
Are you saying I'm pretending it's fiction when it's not?
I've not watched the program and was puzzled that the op was talking as if it was real when I thought it was fiction.
So was it a documentary?

Couldn't disagree more, society is dumbing down and we can see where that went in the U.S, this is part of a bigger context. It is really short sighted to be flippant about playing with toys; encouraging the development of a child's imagination, which research demonstrates has a strong correlation with intelligence later in life - why do you think those who have made cash in silicone valley don't want their children on screens at a young age? The ability to even process ideas about concepts of morality, to think and believe in ideals is most likely completely absent in many of these cases as there has been no development of intellectual capacity to do so. So yes, be flippant all you like but I would say it as the cost of well rounded young adults and society as a whole. I mean it wouldn't matter if you have a PS in your room at 16 if you actually had the intellect to question your choices, i e not unquestionably follow the mantra of the ideology like some kind of manosphere disciple!

@Mightymoog it was fiction but drawing on real life scenarios

thank you.
Not sure why my question angered @BodenCardiganNot so much!

@Mightymoog I think because so many posters think it has been hyped, it’s exaggerated, only children who are being dragged up by shit parents could be influenced by anything, whereas all parents need to be aware that it could potentially happen to their child. Not killing someone but being drawn into misogynistic beliefs etc no matter how well you have brought them up

Posters who are dealing with this in a daily basis eg in schools are probably fed up with naive parents

oh right, well I've not seen it so not me with that opinion!
is it worth a watch?

Which cases were they

I disagree - how are we measuring the toxic behaviour from boys? Is this not the same as when we thought Marilyn Mansun caused school shootings

Exactly

The writer said he was listening to the news and heard about one, he then was shocked to hear about a second a week later and so started to research.

If you google 13 year old stabbing, I think you’ll be equally shocked
edit-: @Holdmeclosecooedthedove

You are obviously entitled to your opinion as am I, but I disagree 😁

There have been some very intelligent people that have been indoctrinated so I'm not sure linking it to intelligence is the right metric. Also psychopaths are highly intelligent but are lacking in emotional intelligence. I think Steve Jobs own daughter wasn't overly enamoured of his parenting so I wouldn't hold them up as a shining example.

I would try and build that connection at a deeper level between them and you as a parent and then not abandon this connection when they reach teens and they start to pull away. Continue to show an interest in them, listen to them, ask them questions, do things that they want to do with them, take them places and talk not just about what you or they are doing, but about wider and deeper things and still show them affection and that you care as they go through life, whilst holding them accountable for their actions and I think that that is the best that you can do and hope you have done enough.

Society as a whole seems to reward entitled individualistic behaviour I'm not sure how you measure dumbing down, in fact if anything I would say it is the lack of connection and accountability which gives rise to people not becoming a positive part of society.

I was thinking and thought I referred to intellectual capacity so the ability to think things through, critical thinking not pure intelligence which is a measure of IQ. If you are creating lots of worlds with storylines that mimic real life so friendships, family relations, good and bad with your toy characters, then it develops empathy and emotional intelligence.

I had that connection with my DC from reading to them and by nurturing that imagination with helping them with ideas or putting on plays, puppet shows, dancing or whatever. I can't see how the above isn't crucial to child development, I know that it is as my Mum specialised in that area in her job and gave me lots of advice on how to go about this when my children were young. Equally, how can you dismiss kindness as irrelevant, it's arguably the most crucial element of a child's character if you want them to make good choices later in life. And affection, yes it goes without saying that that's essential for feeling confident and secure.

R.e 'dumbing down', there is an intellectual malady that we have descended into, lots of people finding it easier to just roll their eyes and not give a crap which means that actively engaging in civic responsibilities and understanding your position within a community, believing in something worthwhile, is now seen as sentimental but people still want to believe in something so that feverish desire has turned to hate as it is easier to do so than actively engaging in substantial issues which require a level of understanding and critical thinking skills that many lack or can't be bothered to pursue.

I disagree that those with greater intellectual capacity are easily indoctrinated, they aren't, purely because if you know enough stuff you can offer a credible condemnation of it. How can you do that if you don't even know what a democracy is or what government is or what ethics are for example! This is very different from having a high IQ. IMO, boys who are easily indoctrinated into thinking like this are angry but they don't even know what they are angry about, they can't articulate it and they certainly can't rationalise it.

Fuck me, of all the things I picked up during watching it, i didn't even think about the time... 10.30pm is crazy for 13, absolutely right.

I also thought the parents feeling so sorry for him and themselves, but not saying anything in episode 4 about the actual girl and her family was a red flag. I mean maybe that lack of empathy impacted their son in some way? Made him less able to notice others perspective and feelings (probably reaching)

Yes, I agree, self - absorbed.

You refer to intellect and intelligence twice, not to developing intellectual capacity. If you can categorically muddle these up, I'm not sure any of your argument holds up.

I have read back my post and you are being disingenuous as I have used, 'intellectual capacity'. You are right, I shouldn't have used, 'intelligence', I should have stuck to intellectual capacity. I think it is a bit of a leap to suggest that error totally invalidates my point. However, I get the impression you are being defensive, unsure why...It's ok to have an honest discussion, especially as like you I'm offering up a reason for the suggested issue, you belittling my argument is not going to convince me that it is somehow lacking 😂

It's far more scary having a daughter at secondary school

The show would not worry me. It’s the sheer worry of how many young boys seem to be either groomed into gang life or victims of it (even if they play no part in it). I am terrified of my nephews heading to school alone.

It’s why I could never have been a solo mother by choice. It would be too big a risk had I had sons and had to work leaving them to entertain themselves….

My post at 16.04 literally mentions 'intellectual capacity';

"The ability to even process ideas about concepts of morality, to think and believe in ideals is most likely completely absent in many of these cases as there has been no development of intellectual capacity to do so. So yes, be flippant all you like but I would say it as the cost of well rounded young adults and society as a whole"

Perhaps touch up on your comprehension skills....

@Holdmeclosecooedthedove
What do you disagree on? When a young man can go on the internet and join a chat forum with uncle participants who will egg on and encourage him in those beliefs with absolute real life consequences then it’s pretty serious and needs discussing.

How often is this manifesting in real life consequences?

Teenage boys have always been disgusting and bit/very misogynistic.

Anyone remember the Inbetweeners? Literally all of their chat was made up sex fantasies about girls in their year group.