Is it cheap not to cater?

[Itrtttyy]

it’s a significant birthday and a function room is being hired out 4-6pm for around 40 guests then afterwards carrying on in nearby (nice) pubs. The function room place serves food as do a few nearby pubs.

Does the event need catered (a buffet)?

Yes - YABU
No - YANBU

Is the host paying for the drinks?

Sorry, it’s not a hired hall. It’s a function room in a pub. I judged when she told me there was no buffet but I guess if she’d said she’d reserved a load of tables downstairs I wouldn’t have expected food catered by her, so maybe I’m wrong to judge.

All of this.

I don't think I'd travel, so sit in a room for a couple of hours between 4 and 6.

I mean, if she wants to do a pub crawl (bit weird for any over 30, but, each to their own) then she needs to ask a small group of people and make it clear what she's inviting them to.
If she wants 40 people to come and celebrate her birthday, then she needs to organise a party, at a normal party time, and put on some food.
Or, potentially a lunch if she really, really doesn't want an evening party. But you can't ask people to a room, over a meal time, and say there's nothing to eat, oh, and after a couple of hours we're going to wander off to some local pubs, that most of you won't be able to get in to

If she's that good a friend, I'd share this with her. If more of an acquaintance, I'd probably just decline.

Ah I see, that explains it. Well as it's not your party there's not much you can do if this is what your friend has arranged. Maybe try to persuade her that providing some nibbles and a cake at least would be good. Or offer to take some yourself or help her arrange it.

My take on it is this, if you are having a gathering there should be food. Not necessarily a four course buffet, but something FGS. People expect something to eat or nibble on, it's part of the gig and helps people mingle aswell. Also, it sounds awkward that people have to order and pay for their own food at the bar. By the time they get served the two hour window in the function room will not be enough time!

I'd have to bring a packed lunch in my bag or I'd be pissed as a fart with nothing inside me before oodles of drink. But if it was a close friend I'd just join them for drinks later having had something myself at home.

Either do it right, or don't do it at all I think.

Omg no, 4 pm is too early to have eaten before. It's a party so there needs to be food.

Yes it needs to be catered.

Indeed.

I think most folk will get off at 6pm and go home or out for a meal (deliberately avoiding the ‘pub crawl’ list of venues), totally bemused at what a shit show it was.

This might work for a young bunch who are all about the alcohol, but at 40 it’s a bit odd.

A friend of mine (early 30s) has his birthday celebrations in a pub every year and reserves the upstairs room for a particular local pub game, which most people sign up to join in. He doesn't provide food or drink, but those who want order from the bar. It's always packed and great fun.

It would be a real pain in the arse moving pubs. Some people would still be waiting for their food to arrive, you wouldn't get seats together in the next pubs etc. It sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

There will be food, but you have to order and pay for it yourself.

No. I do think that would be unreasonable to expect!

Oh fuck offfff, surely nobody is that miserable?

Ditch the room hire, and say "were out for drinks/pub crawl, starting at 7"

I'd meet them at a pub at 7.30pm and go for dinner with DH first at 6pm.

Throw a few crisps into a bowl.

This makes no sense at all 😬

It's not MY party 😊

But I agree totally, just start the pub crawl at 7 or so and forget about the function room.

I think that's where the party girl expects all her presents to be given.......

Another one asking is she buying the drinks? For the two hours or is she expecting people to buy their own?
How can you do a pub crawl for 40 people? By the time everyone is served it will be time to move to next pub!

We've been told twice that the invitation says no presents.

Oh right. I had a vision of people sitting in a hall somewhere, twiddling their thumbs for 2 hours, until they were released to the pub. It still seems an odd time to start a pub crawl though. In fact, I think it's got Disaster written all over it. People will get drunk very quickly if they start drinking at 4 and haven't eaten since 1, whether they eventually order food or not. Still I'm not invited so that's ok. Have a nice time. 😊

Function room - give me my birthday presents, thanks. Starve away and buy your own drinks though.

Pub crawl, few pubs will have room for 40 or so in a gang, so there may be trouble ahead....

I’ve said several times, it’s clear she doesn’t expect gifts.

It all sounds a bit strange. She should at least order a load of chip bowls or similar and people can then get more food if they want.

OK have some rolls, crisps, scones, jam, cream, cake
They'll need something to line stomachs before a pub crawl.

Think of it like reserving tables so you know you can sit together with your friends.