Is it cheap not to cater?

[Itrtttyy]

it’s a significant birthday and a function room is being hired out 4-6pm for around 40 guests then afterwards carrying on in nearby (nice) pubs. The function room place serves food as do a few nearby pubs.

Does the event need catered (a buffet)?

Yes - YABU
No - YANBU

It's not a party at all. Hiring a room, providing no food and then going on a pub crawl is bizarre.

I know, plus starting at 4pm!

Eat before 4pm, so at lunchtime?! 😂

Me and all my school/uni pals turned 40 last year and this is a very unusual set up both in timing, location & catering.

In my group...

#1 Some people hired a table or two in a pub and then people got their own food.

#2 Others had a meal with their besties (& then their partner / parents paid)

#3 Some hired a room from early evening and provided food (& some fizz)

#4 Some hired a room from later evening (8pm) and it was clear it was just for drinking.

I did #3.

This isn’t going to work as there’s no opportunity later in the night to eat. Unless you are playing pub golf you will end up having 1 drink in each pub as it will take that long for everyone to get served, never mind ordering food. The times are either going to force people to eat really early at lunch time then starve or leave at 6 to find something to eat.
I think she shouldn’t have told anyone she’s hired a function suite and said she had reserved some tables, it doesn’t really matter where the tables are.

By 40 I would say it is reasonable to expect a function like this to cater food. Maybe something to nibble and a free glass of champagne for a toast. I don’t see the purpose of this at all except to sit in a room with 40 people (if they bother showing) and talking awkwardly as no one knows if food is or isn’t there (not everyone reads fine print on things), all the while having to get own food and drinks.

Also by 40, many will be parents and may have organised a babysitter, only to come out to such a dud night. I think 40 friends will drop to single digits after this.

That's a bald statement.

I think the decorated function room and official invites, without even so much as a free glass of Prosecco for guests, is to ensure the birthday girl gets gifts (and yes I did see the bit where she said no gifts on the invite, but people will still bring gifts and she knows it).

She’ll also be counting on a load of drinks bought for her and lined up at each bar, and probably her food too.

It’s basically a cheeky fucker “pay for my birthday because I’m too cheap to” party which isn’t a party.

I'd definitely be staying in and washing my hair that night.
If I was the host, I would supply a full buffet and at least a couple of drinks per person.
As it stands, sounds like an absolutely terrible night!

I’m sorry, but this just sounds so rubbish 😆 nobody wants to eat a proper meal before 4, you’re then hanging around in a random room with nothing to do for 2 hours (food is super handy when you don’t know that many other people), before going out on a pub crawl that sounds akin to the kind of chaos most of us left behind in Freshers’ Week. It’s not a party, it’s really tight.

She should either stump up for an actual buffet, catered cheaply from Costco, and then do this juvenile sounding pub crawl, or just agree to meet everyone in a pub for drinks.

If I were invited and actually went, I'd bugger off after the function room and go for a curry or some such. Then probably bog off home.

She 100% does not want gifts. Without a doubt. I’d put money on no one bringing one.

Have a big lunch and try to steer the pub crawl through Maccy Ds at some point in the evening

OP- Admit it! This is YOUR birthday and you are sounding out your ridiculous plan and pretending its a 'friend'. Given some of your replies, I really think this is the case.🙄

You can order curry at the event though. You just have to pay for it (or order at one of the subsequent pubs).

She’s not starving people wedding style where you’re trapped and reliant on being given food. There is plenty of opportunity for food. You just have to order and pay for it yourself.

'Significant birthday', 'function room' and '4-6pm' would lead to me expecting some sort of food - especially if you're going on to the pub afterwards. If there's no food, you might as well just go to the pub and start later so people have time to eat beforehand.

You’ve rumbled me.

If it wasn’t for you pesky kids… 🙄

Also isn’t 6pm slightly too early for a pub crawl. Isn’t 7 ish a better start time. Time to get a lining on your stomach for all the alcohol.
But if I went I wouldn’t buy her a drink, no gifts remember then go out for food at 6pm and maybe go home.
Unless she is really popular then I can’t see 40 people even turning up.

I think it sounds a bit weird to have a function room and no food. It could be something as simple as sausage sandwiches for everyone.

Admittedly I don’t go to many parties, but this sounds like the strangest one ever.

It sounds pretty crap and makes her look tight. If she’s not willing to offer food, she should start at 7 or 8 pm. As a PP said, it’s not a party. And do a large group of 40 year olds really want to be dragged from one pub to another? There won’t be proper time to eat and everyone will just be getting drunk and ravenous. How is that actually fun?

I sort of get it …like having reserved seating in the bar. Everyone gets their own food and drink but gets to sing happy birthday.
However I can’t see the pub crawl going well. As PP said the pub might not be able to deal with 40 orders of food at 5.30 which is when drinkers who haven’t eaten since lunchtime will get peckish. You’ll have people suggesting staying on, some asking to move pubs, some wanting restaurants, all sorts.

Just to reiterate, there is accessible pub grub all night, you just have to order and pay for it.

My AIBU is whether there should be a buffet at the 4-6pm function room part.

To me, anyone hosting means extending a welcome to guests which in my opinion means providing food, but I’ll offer anyone who comes in a drink and a biscuit before they sit down!

Order food, along with 40 other people ordering food AND drinks (plus others elsewhere in the pub)? Nah, that's a recipe for not getting your tea, getting really annoyed - and a complete shambles.