Is it cheap not to cater?

[Itrtttyy]

it’s a significant birthday and a function room is being hired out 4-6pm for around 40 guests then afterwards carrying on in nearby (nice) pubs. The function room place serves food as do a few nearby pubs.

Does the event need catered (a buffet)?

Yes - YABU
No - YANBU

I went to a posh event on one of the Thames boats. Set sail at 8pm, dock at Midnight. Posh frocks and black tie. There was NO FOOD!! And we were unable to get any. It was truly awful. We were all starving and people either didn’t dare drink or got wasted. Terrible to not provide food in my opinion.

Better hosting would be to reduce the drinks catered and offer at least something for people to eat.

There are no drinks catered. There is no entertainment. There is literally nothing at all set up for guests other than decorations.

You need to provide the food.

The better thing would be to provide food and let people pay for their own drinks/ only provide a certain amount of drinks.

Honestly if people are expected to start drinking from four and some of them go on drinking til late, there’ll need to be food.

Yes it’s expensive but you’re not hosting if you just provide a room to drink in.

Edit - sorry I’ve just seen there’s no drink provided either - this is not going to work!

I'd expect nibbles in the function room and some bottles on the table/first drink provided by the host. If I knew there was no food provided all night I wouldn't get there until about 8 after having dinner at home first. I wouldn't risk waiting to eat out in case we couldn't get a table. Also it would be awkward to be sitting eating possibly alone while other guests are standing around drinking.

It seems to me that she wants the function room for Instagram purposes. Snap a pic of the big figure 40 balloons in front of a present table and then carry on with the night.

I haven’t suggested childcare is her responsibility (your reading comprehension isn’t particularly strong).
I said she’ll need to consider that not everyone will show up at 4pm (or, indeed, stay till 5am) when she hasn’t given them any particular reason to do so.

Sounds to me like you have just hired the room to collect the presents. Not having food is naff and tight.

Why would someone order a panini for dinner??!! I’d want something more substantial personally especially if I was drinking!

A panini and a pint 😆 (on your own tab, of course).
She’s not exactly the hostess with the mostest, bless her.
Hope it all works out, op, but it’s not looking too likely.

I do think it's odd not to have food served, however I'd expect that the pub wouldn't be happy with people bringing in their own food.

I do understand however what you're saying about people buying their own meals. Yes the function room times are a bit odd, but I'd imagine that quite a few people would be in the main pub area before 6pm and stay there to eat then go on to wherever the group is. It's a bunch of, I'd assume mostly 40 year old women, having a catch up and reminiscing. Sitting down in smaller groups to eat and gossip, until the real drinking begins!

She isn’t being obtuse. You are being rude. A panini is something you would order for lunch not dinner.

Stop bashing everyone that doesn’t agree with you!

I can see it now - “Ffs! Just get up to the bar and order yourself a panini and a pint, Lucy. Why am I responsible for you having a good time?!!”

I think the function room is very odd, maybe not so odd if you are doing some food to start the night off but don't see the point otherwise. I wouldn't bother with the 4-6 bit unless it was to line my stomach! I'd be disappointed if there wasn't and be tempted to bog off early for a curry and say.. whose coming?!

@Itrtttyy This thread is killing me 😂I am not far off 40 and have been known in the not too distant past to go out on an afternoon and (attempt) to stay out until late, wise or unwise as it maybe. Nothing wrong with letting your hair down a bit, though doesn't look like many of our pals are on this thread!

On the actual question, I think it's the function room that makes it seem odd there's no catering. I'd expect a buffet/ canapes, but then if she'd just reserved tables/ an area in a pub or bar then I wouldn't. I think the difference is that she's doing a "private party" for a small portion of the evening rather than just reversing some seats to kick off the bar crawl.

You’ve suggested she takes it into account. Why?

I didn’t know there were strict panini related rules. Would it work better if I said pie? Or fish and chips? Or literally any other food served in a pub. A panini was an example. If it’s not being obtuse not to know that, it’s being thick as a brick.

Fuck me.

What do you not understand?!

Sounds rubbish

Well, the AIBU was about whether there should be buffet. Not about whether people eat paninis on a night out (they do). Every gets so hugely overexcited they salivate over ways to be a knob completely unrelated to the question.

Yes, the demographic clearly isn’t the ‘spoons for Prosecco and panini’ lot 😂.

Will have to work on only going out after 7 if I’m to stay out past 10 in the future.

Yabu and Abit cheap. People can't eat before they come...what 3pm or 3.30 but could to travel. At 4-6 pm you expect drinks and nibbles especially if you got a function room
What's the point otherwise.

Why she’s being bashed for ‘not considering those who need babysitters’. Surely that’s clear?

@Annascaul

perhaps the party organiser could pay for everyone’s babysitters? Least they could do really