There's no other real option forthisp

[Ethicaldebacle]

Name change because it's a very delicate matter.

Yesterday I met with a friend and our parents (her DF and my DM) will end up in the same circumstances. If we don't move them here with us they'll end up dying alone.

Neither of us have family left in their home countries, and the current visa situation means that we'll never be able to bring them here (legally). Sit our plan is to bring them to live with us for the last couple of years of their lives, and take them to private doctors so they don't get deported. I believe that's the only option.

Yanbu

I don't understand your post. You can't bring them here (England?) legally, but want to bring them here presumably, illegally? How do you plan to do this?

It's very easy, they'll just overstay until they die

Private doctors cost £££££ have you really thought this through? You don’t know what level of care they’d need, what if they had something like cancer or heart disease?

Can you afford to leave work and look after them full time if necessary? If they need an operation can you afford to do that privately too? What will you have in place in case something happens to you before them?

If something happens before it is what is, my DM 75 so doubt it. Obviously my DM would liquify her assets before she comes here, they'd add to around £800k-£1m so it's not like we won't have money to support her.

Only 75? That's v v young.

Tough question, but how will you know 'how long' they've got?

I have a relative who's 103...... 75 is very young by today's standards (and no, that's not hyperbole, he's 103)

Yes, I think I still have 5/8 years. Neurologically she's sound, but does have chronic condiy i.e. a perforated heart valve and diabetes. Both completely manageable with medication.

My grandma died at 75, so she's already outlived her!

NHS doctors don’t tend to get involved with visa requirements. They right just treat whoever turns up.

I think it's either when she really starts forgetting things or she starts falling/tripping (that's how my grandma died). But yest I get it's almost impossible to know.

I don't think it would be the doctors per se, but the hospital

What does your DM say about it ?

plus, whether you use private Drs or not, she’ll still be here illegally, and at risk of deportation back to her home country .. where she will have no home.

It's very easy, they'll just overstay until they die

Right, so them coming here isn't the problem, it's the staying for the long-term?

How much would the doctors care/ongoing medication cost-that's obviously a concern.

Private doctors aren’t a reliable treatment option for illegal immigrants.

My DM understands that it's either that or dying alone. I guess if she were to get deported, I just put her in a retirement home (back in her home country) but at least I tried.

There's very little private emergency care available

At that point she may have dementia or her ailments might pose a very serious risk to her flying back?

As long as I can get her labs done, (which I think most can get done via Thriva and other prick tests labs - she only gets tested for triglycerides, the other one she uses an at home device), her current doctor's could give the guidance. My cousin is a doctor in Spain, so I guess I could get the medicine there.

My DM hasn't changed medication in many years though.

Have you spoken to anyone about the eligibility criteria for a dependent adult to move to the UK? I just wonder why you have concluded that they wouldn’t be able to move to the UK legally?

So then maybe I can appeal and get her to stay?
What difference would it make at that point? At east I can fly back with her and be with her with the inevitable happens, even if it's on the plane.

Surely questions will be asked by the banks about this £1m?
I find it hard to believe you can send that sort of money internationally without it raising some flags.

I agree with looking into a legal route, because of the amount of savings she could enter with.

Yea, plenty of lawyers who have said they only approve about 20-50 every year.

Key to the eligibility is to prove care is cheaper here (which obviously isn't the case at all whatsoever).

Only child here of Asian parents living in Asia whilst I live here in uk as a British national with a British husband and British children.

I am in your exact position but no this is not the answer.

The only answer and the biggest comfort for them is for you and them to arrange their care in their familiar surroundings and familiar country and not uproot them to live out their lives illegally in a foreign land. You organise care and set aside money and time to visit and prepare mentally to feel as spread out as a sandwich spread but they ail and die where they belong. And yes you accept that you may not be there - and that could happen regardless even if they were as close as a few counties not countries away.

they deserve to die and end their lives in their own country, getting care with their money, in their familiar surrounds.