There's no other real option forthisp

[Ethicaldebacle]

Name change because it's a very delicate matter.

Yesterday I met with a friend and our parents (her DF and my DM) will end up in the same circumstances. If we don't move them here with us they'll end up dying alone.

Neither of us have family left in their home countries, and the current visa situation means that we'll never be able to bring them here (legally). Sit our plan is to bring them to live with us for the last couple of years of their lives, and take them to private doctors so they don't get deported. I believe that's the only option.

Are there no nursing homes in their home country?

Can come on a tourist visa and access GP services but you’ll be charged for hospital admission.

Why not look into the adult dependency visa?

You could try for an elderly dependant visa, but regardless, Yanbu to try to bring her over.

Again not that hard, as the properties are in MY name.

Also, for the legal route she needs £2 million which we don't have.

That's not what neither of us think. If I didn't have children, I would just move back, but obviously I just can't uproot them for an indefinite number of years.

And if she has a heart attack? Private hospitals don't have A&E departments. They're not set up for real emergencies. You'd have to call for NHS paramedics.

How would she cope mentally with the thought that she could be discovered and deported at any time? Would she be able to feel settled and relaxed? It seems like quite a stressful existence.

If she needs A&E then she needs it, and we'll just chance it.

My DM is 86 her mental health is fine. Physically she's rapidly deteriorated over the past 6-7yrs. This has included numerous falls, trips to hospital, short term rehab care, and now carers at home. Hopefully your mum won't have any of the above, but it's surprising just how quickly peoples health can start to fail.

I think it's the peace of mind that she's maximising her time with her loved ones that makes it worthwhile.

Have you considered that you would relocate temporarily, and hopefully legally, to your mum’s home country for her final years?

Which may be better for your mum?

Yes I have (I'm a dual citizen so no problem there) but neither my DC nor my DH speak the language.

We've considered it, but then my DH wouldn't be able to get a job, the DC would have to adjust to move across the ocean.

So that's the real plan? Using the nhs anyway?

Is it just you and children? They might benefit from a couple of years in your home country. Care homes are often cheaper and better abroad.

Only if we have no choice, and we'd of course pay for it if asked. It's not like she's moving here to use it.

No, and a husband. Plus 2 dogs and a cat

I saw a Canadian friend today who said that her elderly mother was unwell on a previous visit (can’t remember what) and she had excellent NHS emergency service. And then she got a BIG bill. I think the days when the NHS doesn’t bother to charge ineligible people are gone. Relying on private healthcare for age related issues does not sound sensible to me.

Well Op, I am not sure what you are looking for from this thread?

Bringing another overstaying illegal migrant into the UK? One with medical needs which you think you/ she can cover, but you are willing to chance it either way. And will pay ‘if asked’

Is this what your mum wants?

If you are looking for MN approval and the green light for your scheme, I am out.

Oh well in that case bring her on over!

She thinks the alternative is worse. Her plan B is to be euthanised in her home country (which can be legal under certain circumstances) so at least it's planned, and we can say a proper good bye.
It's all very grim, but I unfortunately don't have many options.

I've consulted to do it legally but it's virtually impossible.

So only pay if asked?..... what country is your mum coming from where she is a 'millionaire' but plans to illegally come here, use the nhs, and only pay 'if asked'?

We would/will ALWAYS pay, I think you're getting the wrong end of the stick here. She's only coming illegally here because the are no visas for her situation (I think they stopped in 2012).

She's not coming here for free healthcare (it's free over there!) We'd only use the NHS because there are no private emergency providers, not for any other reason.

@Ethicaldebacle your own words....we'd of course pay for it if asked. So you wouldn't volunteer? Only if asked?

They (in theory) send you the bill. IME you don't go and request it. From my experience and (what I've seen in Facebook groups) A&E never send the bill, things like pregnancy they do.

However, I do know of someone who got the bill sent in Switzerland for appendicitis.

How would they pay if not asked?

I understand why you'd choose this option, OP. I wish we'd had the option for a dear relative, but there was no way they would have got past strict immigration (not in the UK). There were no visa options and no option to sign any sort of documentation to say we would pay for absolutely all of her care.

I'd think more about the option of you moving to be with her - could your DH work remotely? - but, whatever you decide, good luck OP.