My ex is a cunt. If I write to his solicitor will it cost him?

[1664Ex]

The consent order says he has to cover half of uniform and associated education costs when agreed in advance. So he won’t agree anything in advance.

He wrote, via his solicitor that he would cover a single big uniform bill - she said she had told him to do it because it was the “right thing” but that he doesn’t technically have to pay. And so he didn’t pay. But she charged him for the letter.

So, currently he is ignoring everything. Even if I ask in advance. Just total no contact - the last time he was in contact it was to tell me that he would contact the police as my emails which are no more than every 2 months or so, and are entirely related to the kids, is harassment!😂

So if I write to his solicitor, will she charge him? Or can he just tell her to shred it and carry on ignoring?

[ Background info is he is a hugely well paid director of a public company. He pays at CMS rates and not a penny more. He won’t see the kids apart from on school holidays unless I drive them, or find a cab. They are all disabled, full EHCP and all senior school age. ]

Was this wording in the order? If not, you can’t enforce it.

Hid solicitor works for him so if he says ignore & forward or shred then she won't charge. I had a not similar matter & didn't want contact & solicitor said she'd just forward any correspondence but not read, they don't charge for this.
But the bigger thing is just focus on your child, he'll hate that. Ignore him. Nothing you can do about what he does. These people hate being ignored.

You’re like really thick

So to recap, I could :

Go to small claims court
Go back to family court and argue he isn’t complying with the consent order
Send the requests via his office and see would City of London police process this as harassment
Send to his solicitor
Send to his relative
Go back to CMS and push for a full investigation just for the shits and giggles of it

Have I forgotten anything?

I wouldn't write to his work or his relative if he's saying you are harassing him.

He is SAYING it’s harassment. Is it harassment when any other creditor writes to you?

His solicitor is his assigned legal representative. He chooses for them to represent him. Keep it legal and professional and address him via them. It leaves you less open to allegations. Also keep a copy, send recorded delivery and attach proof of postage to the copy.

I suppose that’s back to my original question - presumably the solicitor contacts him and says “there’s a letter here for you, from the ex.” He can tell her to bin it and disinstruct her, or whatever the phrase is.

You’re not simply a creditor, and if you are going to email his work, relatives AND solicitor, then yes you are harassing him and as I say, you’re giving him a nice and easy way to get you

Fair point, I’ll start with solicitor.

I wouldn’t contact his company, just him, AT his company.

You need to keep your head straight and follow the legal process and ONLY the legal process, keep your own nose clean here.

Completely agree. Do not write to him at his work. Do not write to his relatives. Go via his solicitor (or recorded delivery at his home address) but only a reasonable volume - maybe once a school term, not as many letters as you can. Think about how an impartial outsider who knows no back story would view it. You need to make sure he can not reasonably say you are harassing him. Frustrating I know, but you have to be whiter than white here so he can not use it against you.

Keep pushing it through his solicitor. It’s weird that he just seems to want to cut off his children in this way.

Many years ago my aunt's ex was paying the maintenance 1 day later every month, this was in Australia where there was (many years ago so I'm not sure it is the same now) a legal minimum.

She knew he was aiming to miss a payment and her not notice.

When it did miss she faxed his office saying he was late and the amount he was paying.

He was furious but didn't do it again.

Anyway I'm not recommending it but the PP who said go back to court I would do that and ask for the order to be changed to him paying a set amount towards school expenses and the health insurance.

Yes he will be charged for opening a letter, contacting him about the letter and replying to the letter.
If his lawyer charges £300ph then each of the above, would cost him a minimum of £30 (being the charge for 6 minutes - which I think is the mimimum time charged).

If I were you OP, I'd be writing to his solicitor, separate letters, about every point, every time.

He won’t! How do you think solicitors would be able to recover fees for this, everyone would refuse to pay!

Solicitors I have used (not family law though) absolutely charge a minimum of 6 minutes to open and read an email. The same again to forward an email on. More for a reply to the email which will take longer than 6 minutes to draft.

Look at the breakdown of a legal bill and you will see these charges.

DH had a Chancery Lane solicitor for dealing with divorce and ex, and they absolutely did not charge for forwarding an email on.

He’ll only be charged if he instructs the solicitor to reply to the letter, don’t talk rot.

My solicitor has forwarded me 2 letters this month. They have not charged me. I don’t need to check! Why would I pay them? It’s not my fault the other party wrote them a letter. If people had to pay for that it would be anarchy 😂

I’ve just re read and I think you’re referring to an ongoing legal case where the solicitor has been instructed to reply. Of course they charge you for this.

however, if you have not instructed them to reply, they simply pass it on, and do not charge for this

What do you have to lose?

contacting a relative once is not harassment.

but yes as a PP has said I would start writing to the solicitor every five minutes about what’s needed in terms of the order. School tights ripped. Pen broken. Or can we just agree a reasonable amount in the larger expenses?

Is this in relation to a divorce @AquaPeer ?