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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Social worker is writing false reports

113 replies

ImNotARegularMomIACoolMom · 22/03/2025 19:58

Hi so basically my social worker is writing false reports
as far as I’m aware the social workers have to write reports on what they’ve seen and not what they have heard is this correct?
so my social worker has written that I never have food in nor do I ever have gas and electric, I’ve met her 3 times and not once has she been in my house without me having any of that, I have all my receipts from food shopping every fortnight, and I also have my utilities app which shows me making regular payments and my gas and electric is never off
also my son had an operation end of January of this year on his left testicle as he had a cyst, we thought it was a twisted testicle, he had a minor operation and 2 weeks off school and he has been right as rain, as soon as he started comparing of pain I took him up to the hospital and within 2 hours of him complaining of pain he’s all ready gone down for his op in her report she’s wrote ‘Oscar’s operation was more then likely due to neglect’ how can she give a medical opinion she’s a social worker???! also how would my child having a cyst on his left testicle be because of neglect?! This is a common thing for young boys
so for that basis my kids have been placed on child protection I’ve tried to show her my receipts and my gas and electric app but she’s not having none of it can someone give me advice? Also she is siding with my kids dad who has never been in regular contact he doesn’t see his daughter only his son, has issues with drugs, and is abusive to his gf and her children, he also disappears for weeks/months at a time and constantly lets his kids down AIBU and if not what do I even do? I’m scared to complain incase she escalates things

OP posts:
supersonicginandtonic · 23/03/2025 07:52

You aren't being honest here OP. You definitely did not meet CP threshold for little food and gas and electric. There will have been many more concerns you have not mentioned.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 23/03/2025 07:53

I'm a SW, not in the UK, not in children's services. It saddens me so much when I hear this kind of thing and I've heard it in my host country too. Honestly it makes me wonder what all these professionals were doing in their English class at school - want to write about someones character? You need a quote as evidence. Want to make a point about a theme? You need evidence.

Happyfeet234 · 23/03/2025 07:57

Socials workers can and do write lies and they can and are influenced by the other parent I would never have believed that before I saw it with my own eyes. Not all social workers of course. I went to the Ombudsman in the end (lengthy but a very thorough independent process) and got a written apology and promise to review procedures. Which won’t happen obviously but I just wanted to say I believe you.

Soontobe60 · 23/03/2025 08:09

lilmishap · 22/03/2025 22:36

@crashbandicooty why do you think there are procedures in place to deal with this, if it never happens?

Do you honestly believe working for social services means you are incapable of lying or misinterpreting situations? How would that even work when every human is capable of it?

That works both ways - both social workers AND their clients can make things up. Except in the case of the clients, they have a greater reason to lie than a social worker.

LollyLand · 23/03/2025 08:10

Why would they write false reports? Most under social services are often in denial.

Soontobe60 · 23/03/2025 08:12

lilmishap · 22/03/2025 23:54

@FairlyTired She obviously is not.

It's clear from everything op has written she is not comfortable challenging the SW in person, but it is 11.50pm and she has had a fair few snotty responses stating that she must be a shit mum and too thick to realise it.

SWs are authority figures who can remove your children, this creates fear and Sws should be aware of this dynamic. Frightened people are not always polite and by the book, OP has also stated she is vulnerable.

OP came here for advice and received a lot of judgement. Being defensive when unfairly judged is entirely normal behaviour. Why would you try to suggest it isn't?
Would you simply sit back and trust the system if a social worker turned up? Trust me you would not.

Edited

Social workers absolutely cannot remove children! There are legal processes in place that have to be followed to the letter. A solo SW who has an axe to grind about a parent cannot suddenly decide to remove their children. Stop making things up.

Soontobe60 · 23/03/2025 08:13

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 23/03/2025 07:53

I'm a SW, not in the UK, not in children's services. It saddens me so much when I hear this kind of thing and I've heard it in my host country too. Honestly it makes me wonder what all these professionals were doing in their English class at school - want to write about someones character? You need a quote as evidence. Want to make a point about a theme? You need evidence.

So no doubt you will have met many clients who don’t exactly tell the truth then?

JustWalkingTheDogs · 23/03/2025 08:17

Get yourself a family solicitor and talk to them about next steps.

keep food receipts and any bills.

id also speak to your child’s doctor and ask if he can provide a report on your child’s operation and why it’s needed

then, as long as your solicitor thinks it’s a good idea write a formal letter of complaint about the sw via the correct channnel with all the above information.

Soontobe60 · 23/03/2025 08:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What absolute and utter nonsense! If you’re coming here to support someone who’s struggling, then at least stop with the hyperbole.

NC10125 · 23/03/2025 08:28

The letter above is really good, and I think that you should use a version of that to write to the social worker's manager.

I would also suggest that you go into school and ask to speak to the safeguarding lead. You say that they were supportive and spoke positively in the meetings.

Take the report, take your shopping receipts, take the gas receipts. Explain that there is food in your house and give examples of the meals you shop and cook for. Explain that there is money on your gas and electric meter. Give them permission to speak to the children about whether they have 3 meals a day and whether the lights in the house always work. Then ask them to contact social services on your behalf with their findings.

I would also ask the GP for an appointment and ask them directly if your son's cyst was caused by neglect. If they say no show them the report and ask them to write to social services.

LemonPeonies · 23/03/2025 08:29

Social workers have massive workloads and I seriously doubt they would prioritise making things up from the top of their head which would inevitably create more work for themselves. I'm not saying they're perfect, we've all heard of tragic cases of child abuse getting missed by them in recent years but I struggle to believe there's not more to this.

stucky · 23/03/2025 08:31

Social workers don't want to take children away from their parents, there isn't the infrastructure or placements for children to go to. It is also proven that children taken into care have significantly poorer outcomes in later life. It's not in anyone's interest to remove children unless there is sufficient evidence of neglect. To move from a child in need plan to a child protection plan means that they have reason to believe that your child is at significant risk of harm. This requires a considerable amount of evidence &, as others have stated, is a multi agency decision.

As others have stated you can make a complaint, I would complile all the reports, highlight discrepancies and then provide evidence to disprove what's been written.

This sounds like a really difficult situation for you and your family. I hope you reach a resolution soon. My advice would be to log a complaint and show willingness, take advice and work with the social services. Your child's wellbeing should be informing decisions made by services, seems to me like that's something you all have in commons.

i read on a previous post that social workers were paid to take children away, that's laughable. They have never had the power or influence, or resources to do this. Children and family Social workers are paid to do everything they can to work with the families to safeguard vulnerable children.

YourAzureEagle · 23/03/2025 09:06

Man here, who had, as a teenager the very same type of cyst as your son - it is not uncommon at all, and critically there is no way it can form through any form of neglect.

I would contact your GP and explain what has happened and get his opinion in writing, then contact SS, using the pp's template and append the information from the GP - if you can prove positive she is lying on one count then you have totally undermined everything she says, as it casts doubt on her professionalism.

Jellycatspyjamas · 23/03/2025 09:17

I would also suggest that you go into school and ask to speak to the safeguarding lead. You say that they were supportive and spoke positively in the meetings.

It’s not at all unusual for education to be positive and supportive to the parent while raising serious concerns with social work. They have to see the parent daily and rely on good working relationships, sadly that often means watering down concerns to the parent and representing something very different to social work, who then get to be “bad cop”.

Sportswatchernotplayer · 23/03/2025 09:27

Why did the professionals agree to a child protection plan at the CPC? There would need to have been evidence presented to suggest your child needed one.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 23/03/2025 11:13

Soontobe60 · 23/03/2025 08:13

So no doubt you will have met many clients who don’t exactly tell the truth then?

Absolutely but I can't take any action without evidence.

Ruby1985 · 23/03/2025 16:24

Bobbybobbins · 22/03/2025 21:10

Er I wasn’t blaming the OP and it wasn’t a daft comment - how rude. The OP responded to my post giving a bit more detail which has hopefully helped people advise her. I wish her good luck.

You are the rude one and again your comment was daft. The OP was obviously annoyed at your question, and if you couldn’t see that then again you prove my point that you are more daft than I thought! Now good bye 👋🏻

ImNotARegularMomIACoolMom · 23/03/2025 16:55

Hi I did try to comment however I lost Wi-Fi connection so it didn’t post

I did say that I wrote an enaik of complaint to the social workers manager last night.
I am abit worried if escalation however I do believe that I have done the right thing

OP posts:
ImNotARegularMomIACoolMom · 23/03/2025 16:59

stucky · 23/03/2025 08:31

Social workers don't want to take children away from their parents, there isn't the infrastructure or placements for children to go to. It is also proven that children taken into care have significantly poorer outcomes in later life. It's not in anyone's interest to remove children unless there is sufficient evidence of neglect. To move from a child in need plan to a child protection plan means that they have reason to believe that your child is at significant risk of harm. This requires a considerable amount of evidence &, as others have stated, is a multi agency decision.

As others have stated you can make a complaint, I would complile all the reports, highlight discrepancies and then provide evidence to disprove what's been written.

This sounds like a really difficult situation for you and your family. I hope you reach a resolution soon. My advice would be to log a complaint and show willingness, take advice and work with the social services. Your child's wellbeing should be informing decisions made by services, seems to me like that's something you all have in commons.

i read on a previous post that social workers were paid to take children away, that's laughable. They have never had the power or influence, or resources to do this. Children and family Social workers are paid to do everything they can to work with the families to safeguard vulnerable children.

Yeah I don’t believe they get bonuses either so I didn’t even take that comment on

my kids wouldn’t need to go into care as I have family members who would be willing to take them on however I do know this would be the last resort
they've asked me to all sorts of things and every last thing I have done I did like my social worker before her all though after the ICPC that was the last time I seen her and got allocated a new social worker, my new social worker knows I struggle with mental health issues include anxiety and that I find it hard to trust I’ve had my new social worker for 8 weeks the most and have met her 3 times, so I don’t even know her properly yet nor does she know me and the other day she sprung it on me with a few hours notice that she is going on leave for 2 weeks so would have a new social worker until she returned so I invited that in the email of complaint I wrote to her manager stating that it’s caused me more stress because I find it difficult to open up to new people

OP posts:
Notsandwiches · 23/03/2025 17:04

Bobbybobbins · 22/03/2025 20:07

There’s some information missing here OP- why do your DC have a social worker in the first place?

This isn't correct. My kids had a SW when my ex made allegations of neglect. CAFCAS said they were thriving under my care. It's not always the case that theres no smoke without fire. My ex now isn't able to see them unsupervised.

ASimpleLampoon · 23/03/2025 17:10

Soontobe60 · 22/03/2025 20:50

I think the point being made is that the bar for children being placed on the CP register is very high, so there is far more to this than an empty fridge and a cyst on a testicle.

There are - to name two examples - many SEND parents accused of FII and Mums going through family court trying to protect their kids from abusers that would disagree with this.

I've seen bad things happen to good mums too many times to always believe that a mum is in the wrong.

There are professionals that side with abusers because they are scared of them, they go after the protective parent because they are scared of an abuser.

Getting on their wrong side could destroy their career so they do it to save their own skin

aquashiv · 23/03/2025 17:11

SWs do not just take your children. That would be a court.

However I would be highly suspicious if you don't take steps to protect your children from false information. Write and send that letter tonight.

Birdofpain · 23/03/2025 17:37

No but they can and do set the precedent of a narrative that they believe is true and rely there on confirmation bias.

If one social worker has created a mutiny of false statements pelleted with a bit of truth, most people would imagine it may not be wholly accurate however it’s likely not that far off, that being said the next professional will trust what the sw has said, and the next and the next until the original narrative by the sw has now been replicated times over by other professionals and with the collective implied weight of trust they hold, and the chain of social workers and management that trail along after, it is easy to see how it happens.

They can and do take things out of context, and it only had to be small things but those small things put together rather than a big arse lie, end up painting a picture that doesn’t reflect the reality.

Example, your child is used to a SEN friendly dentist but your next visit, there’s a locum, child won’t co operate so a referral for sedation is made, when it comes through it’s four hours away and you don’t drive, your family aren’t in the same country, you can’t use public transport nor can you use a taxi as whomever drives you there had to remain in the hospital with you.

You have other kids and no childcare. So you ask the school nurse to have the sedation referred to the city you are in and they take a few months to action this. Eventually they do send off the referral but by this point your child is with their dad, none of this is mentioned just that mum neglected dental health. Or you are slightly late applying to a secondary school place because of SEN needs and you need the accompanying information for a particular school out of catchment with a low chance of getting in as it’s over subscribed.

Infer SEN ‘laws’ your child can be out of a catching for a school that ‘best meets their needs’ with distance irrelevant. By time your child is not being returned from dad, you’ve been given two school places inc the one you fought for outside catchment.

doesn’t matter, it will say mum failed to apply for secondary school. When a social worker has failed or aligned with the wrong parent, and you get that far along the way, it is unlikely that the social worker will admit or acknowledge they have backed the wrong horse.

We would all love to think that the system is watertight, social workers want to keep families together or they all do the right thing but I think in all manners of the system, it becomes more about winning at any cost than it does about putting the truth to the court.

When mistakes have been made as catastrophic as they were in my case, you’d like to think the social worker would be affronted they’d been hoodwinked or taken their eye off the ball and do whatever is required to amend and correct.

But they don’t, there’s thousands of parents in situations like this and it is extremely difficult to have a social worker held to account. It’s true that if you begin to complain during the early stages before PLO that things will get worse for you.

Then when in any kind of court setting, you’re not permitted to complain, after court you are then told your complaint won’t be looked at as you had a barrister so shrugs even one thing I asked the sw management to explain to me, I said why did you maintain I put my child at risk of significant harm by going against medical advice when you had my medical records, perinatal records and even during proceedings found nothing in child’s hair and no neglect of anything untoward in the child? The answer was you had a barrister, the matter is closed.

this has been the hardest situation I’ve ever been involved in that I just cannot understand how why what when and so on. All the guidance, procedures, laws, mandatory frameworks and so on designed to ensure that these things not only don’t happen, but can’t happen, don’t appear to be implemented and it is like pot luck if you have a social worker who is genuine in their vocation.

My friends and family, and myself, have always held social workers with respect and high regard for what they do. To see first hand what happened to me has thrown everyone of us into a million little pieces of shock, despair and utter bewilderement wondering how the f.877 could this happen in 2025? How can this happen?

I am going to tell my full story when it is safe to do so because if the LA aren’t going to answer as to why this or why that then the internet world will.

since this all happened, I have found my rights (which were completely ignored, and the situation prior will be subject to civil action against the LA) and in now initiating court and with the knowledge I now have in how to work with a system like this, and what I am entitled to under the law to be an equal in this process, when I recieved the allocated sw email this week I cried and I cried and I cried with relief that the energy I poured into advocating for fairness paid off.

I can’t correct the narrative from court prior. I never stood a chance. But I can correct it via Cafcass.

the reason so many posters think there must be more to it, social workers don’t do this, Is so disheartening and does nothing to expose the very real and ongoing systemic failures of ultimately, children. Family court is private, but that privacy allows for these catastrophic errors of justice to be made, I believe social workers should have body cams on so that there is no discrepancy when it comes to what was and wasn’t said. You are allowed to record meetings with or without their consent.

other posters who have said to send in a letter with your evidence are correct / do it NOW and nip it in the bud.

there is a charity called Impact Initiative who offer people to support you via the whole CP process, I wish I had known about them. They attend and make sure you understand what has been written and they can challenge / them being there makes it less likely that you will be framed negatively.

you have to get your ducks in a row here. Do a SWOT analysis on you and your parenting, get support from every and any where you can find or think of. Use Chat GPT (it’s free but I pay the £20 as it turns all my waffle into something normal) and I can also ask it to explain that I really want to work with them but the way I react or the tone of my voice when I am in a trauma response can come over as combative and lacking insight, this isn’t what is going on for me it’s X Y Z, what do you need from me so we can make sure to be fully transparent with no misunderstandings, for example. It’s been a hard hard slog and I’m not anywhere close to the end yet but you have my full sympathies and I believe you.

willstarttomorrow · 23/03/2025 17:46

OP, I have been a child protection social worker for 2 decades. I am not going to dismiss what you say because I do not know the situation. However, any assessment usually includes information from several sources involved with the family as well as however visits have been made to the family home by social work staff. I have often had parents dispute information made by health/schools/cafcass/the police. Whilst I can record this information is disputed, I cannot disregard it totally unless there is contradictory information that means I can assess with 100% certainty it is false.

When it come to child protection, if a case conference is called, this is a multi-agency decision. My experience is that sometimes certain professionals are far more risk averse than I am and as a result a case can end up as child protection when it could be Child in Need, mainly because they do not understand threshold. This is rare though, because cases are not escalated to an Initial Child Protection Conference as a matter of course, there has to be a significant risk of harm to the children which cannot be managed through working on a voluntary plan.

This is the thing OP (and others), social work is predominantly about working with families to make sure children are safe and parents are supported. The outcomes for children removed from their birth family is dire- even forced adoption at birth, so when balancing risk then this is very much a last resort. I have enough insight to know no one wants me to visit them, but I also have several parents who tell me that they hated me at first, but there is some kind of appreciation and respect at the end when I have worked together with them to avoid their children coming into care. I am not a Saint, it is my job and I love it.

cabbageking · 23/03/2025 17:52

We have many children with a SW where there are no concerns and have never been any concerns. A SW referral is needed to access respite and other services in many areas.

If parents do not turn up for some meetings the SW often relies on the information shared from school or other agencies. They don't need see a broken leg if the paperwork or the school says a child has one.

Depends on where the SW has the information from but it is virtually impossible to remove a child from their parents as the threshold is stupidly high.

I would be asking where the information came from.