Avoiding the childcare trap

[Difficultquestionplz]

hi! I know there are a lot of high earners in this group so maybe other mums can help me. I am caught up in the 100k childcare trap.
back in the days when my salary was around the 100k mark, I was able to top up the pension, but that was before my child was born. Now my child has turned 3 and was hoping to finally get a little relief but it looks like it’s not the case…
currently my salary is higher, almost exclusively due to sales commissions and I am going to finish the fiscal at 260k. My husband is livid that he loses on benefits because of my salary and I am actually wondering if there is anything I could do in terms of investments that can be deducted that could bring me below the threshold.
I am not using any financial advisor because honestly when I looked into it they wanted to take 3% management fee just to manage the easy bits (pension, isas) and it obviously compounds.

thank you for helping
(please be kind, I don’t come from money, my job is paying well now but also highly at risk due to performance management or constant layoffs mixed with the joy of nepotism, unconscious bias/ blatant sexism of a male dominated environment)

You are VERY fortunate to be in the financial position you are. However, you don't seem to be savvy enough to know how to reduce your disposable income in order to claim a paltry benefit?

This x100 !

And please - microagressions? Whatever

So your salary has been reduced due to taking maternity leave?
Obviously if you’re working the hours you say you are, then you have ‘sacrificed’ your time as a mother to mitigate any losses. But let’s not be coy here - you have chosen to do so. With your income, it would have been very easy to choose to work fewer hours in order to spend more time with your children. Do you think mothers should be able to work less for more money just because they chose to have a child? Do you think mothers should be able to ‘have it all’? Because I can tell you with absolute certainty - they can’t. Compromises have to be made by every parent. The sooner you accept that the less angry you will be that you can’t have it all.

I find it really odd that often those on the highest incomes are often the most unhappy with their finances. I am a single parent working part-time due to having an autistic child. Our household income, even including benefits, is therefore absolutely tiny compared to even one of your salaries. But I'm content with my life anyway, and have become an expert budgeter.

It is sad that you are so unhappy despite being so well off. Perhaps counselling would help you gain some perspective.

❤️

agree OP. You don’t need a financial advisor to help you manipulate the system and claim benefits not intended for your family.

You need some support with perspective taking.