Avoiding the childcare trap

[Difficultquestionplz]

hi! I know there are a lot of high earners in this group so maybe other mums can help me. I am caught up in the 100k childcare trap.
back in the days when my salary was around the 100k mark, I was able to top up the pension, but that was before my child was born. Now my child has turned 3 and was hoping to finally get a little relief but it looks like it’s not the case…
currently my salary is higher, almost exclusively due to sales commissions and I am going to finish the fiscal at 260k. My husband is livid that he loses on benefits because of my salary and I am actually wondering if there is anything I could do in terms of investments that can be deducted that could bring me below the threshold.
I am not using any financial advisor because honestly when I looked into it they wanted to take 3% management fee just to manage the easy bits (pension, isas) and it obviously compounds.

thank you for helping
(please be kind, I don’t come from money, my job is paying well now but also highly at risk due to performance management or constant layoffs mixed with the joy of nepotism, unconscious bias/ blatant sexism of a male dominated environment)

@LawrenceSMarlowforPresident “more than 40” would be considered part time in my job for sure

There are also many people working similar hours for minimum wage so its not only high earners who are hard working.

@LawrenceSMarlowforPresident it was not my first best option, was hoping for the mums to share their wisdom and experience. But it looks like very few get my question, the rest clearly think that the best financial strategy for a woman is to marry someone who is making the big money because once married you are entitled to half of it, “you are a team”.

@ThinWomansBrain i come from poverty so I do know the difference between those in need and those who earn way more than the average, pay limited tax and get the childcare hours. If you allow a household that make 320k to claim, it is not for people in poverty. And I find very hypocritical that no one calls out how selfish it is that some people are working part time and contributing to the pension for a couple of years just to qualify, they are abusing the system yet I get insulted for saying that it should be universal

You’ve literally described someone who is hard working. Just because you don’t like his morals doesn’t alter that.

You don’t qualify for a full state pension if you work a few years part time. In fact you probably wouldn’t qualify for much if anything.

This makes you look pretty awful.

Right

So you want to learn tips for hiding / reallocating £160k income just so you can get free childcare??

The average income is £36k. At £260k you earn 7x the average income. Or way more that 10x min wage income. But you think you deserve free childcare??

In effect you are saying that you deserve more money more than people in poverty. As funding you for free childcare would take money from elsewhere.

This.

i would ask you how on earth you reached that conclusion but the last thing I want to do is start up another nonsense dialogue with you where you declare black is white etc. .

As noted- Trump is not hard working- he’s known to be very lazy. He’s not wealthier than other people because he works harder than other people , he’s wealthier than other people as a function of privilege. There are poor people all over the world working just as hard and harder than rich people all over the world. Being wealthy is not a function of how hard a person works, life is infinitely more complicated than that.

Sorry but how can you compare a traditional patriarchal relationship arrangement to a more modern one where 2 people are equally committed to work and family, it just happens that one is earning more than the other? And that the highER earner is not the man?
…and yet here you are, only paying into the household pot what your husband asks for. It seems like you only bang on about the patriarchy when it suits you. You also bang on about how your workplace is like a jobs for the boys kind of place and yet you’re female and earning 1/4 million a year plus have had the benefit of maternity leave with what appears to be no loss of income on your return to work.
You are VERY fortunate to be in the financial position you are. However, you don't seem to be savvy enough to know how to reduce your disposable income in order to claim a paltry benefit?
Both my DDs earn over the threshold to enable them to claim free childcare hours. Neither of them are complaining that they should get free hours - they knew that wouldn't be the case when they had their children.
Your entitlement is very telling.

Some people work part time because they are disabled, or have disabled children, or elderly parents that need their support, or cannot find childcare that is accessible, or for a myriad other reasons - its interesting that you automatically go for the ‘abusing the system’ trope - which is precisely the question you asked - is anything I could do in terms of investments that can be deducted that could bring me below the threshold

It's shocking that someone who grew up in poverty is so ungrateful for being wealthy later on, and so entitled in their attitude.

I can understand having so serious questions about what the government is spending the tax money on, but not being annoyed that people with much less might need benefits or childcare.

"My husband is livid that he loses on benefits because of my salary ..."

Anyone else wondering about this husband who is LIVID his wife earn too much for him to qualify for a sub, whose wife seems to think he will ask her to 'cover the difference' / compensate him for the "benefit lost"?

Just me?

Although it could just be that the whole scenario is AI-generated, I suppose.

You what? You have arrived at some very odd conclusions. Your original question was based on an absurd premise. No wonder people responded as they did.

And you're looking for some way to manipulate your finances so that you can take advantage of a benefit you are not in fact entitled to based on your income. That is dishonest at best.

As for advice to "marry someone who is making the big money"? I can't imagine anyone advising that seriously. From a personal perspective, I wouldn't marry anyone for money. In my case, my husband and I both work full time and we share everything in joint accounts. We are academics, so we're never going to make "big money." But that's fine with us.

Agreed. What patronising takeaway from this conversation.

How on earth was that a description of someone who is hard working? The poster referred to him being born into wealth and privilege and being unscrupulous, manipulative and corrupt.

It sounds as though he was lazy at college as he graduated with a bachelor’s degree from Wharton without honors and one of his professors there is reported to have said “Donald Trump was the dumbest goddam student I ever had.”

He spends loads of time on the golf course at Mar a Lago. I suppose you will describe him as being a great athlete.

Working similar hours is largely irrelevant.

You’re right. My mistake. He flunked college and found a bag full of gold.

He received gifts, loans and inheritance from his father which is akin to finding a bag full of gold.

🧐

@Soontobe60 the comment was not intended for the people who decide to go part time because they need to care for disabled members of the family. It is a reference to some previous comments

@Barrenfieldoffucks although provocative, my answer reflects how many comments came across. Many random assumptions on my marriage. Random comments on my attitude or intellect. I happened to challenge 1 or 2 conventional ideas and a policy that makes no sense, it was not my intention when I started the thread.

@Soontobe60 you are assuming that I did not pay a price for my maternity leave. You assume that I did not make any sacrifice to be present as a mother and mitigate the losses. Or that my husband‘s career was not negatively impacted by not having his wife stay at home. Or that I was not passed for promotions after married despite it took many years to conceive because they were expecting me to become a mother. Or that I am not a target of microaggressions from random people who tell me to my face that my child must be suffering because in full time nursery…there is obviously worse, I come from worse but why are saying these things???