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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find so many police bullies?

83 replies

Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 00:28

Is it just me who finds so many police just utter bullies?

I unfortunately had to call them today and the officer was just so arrogant at knowing it all (while knowing nothing and just completely ignorant) and then as I stood holding my door open for him to leave he grabbed hold of my knocker and yanked the door taking my arm with it hurting me and has broken my knocker.

I'm just so sick of it. I phoned the police to report his assault of me and apparently you can't report a crime a police officer has committed- I have to make a complaint. And no, they won't send a different officer round to take a statement from me (about what I originally phoned the police for.) - they will send him around to potentially assault me again - thanks for the understanding!

I'm told I have to make a complaint for inappropriate force - I mean what exactly do they consider appropriate force against a member of the public politely holding the door open for them? The mind boggles. There's no point in making a complaint as I tried it last time and 4 months later there's been no response! Noone can tell me when I may or may not get a response. They are literally a law unto themselves!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:54

Fromtheeighties · 22/03/2025 10:39

Op, can I ask what you complained about the first time?

There were a few things but in a nut shell - my partner (now ex) was having a psychotic episode and was violent. I was told to bring him into my house with my children and call an ambulance (police wouldn't attend.) When I refused due to the risk to us I was shouted at, told I had to do this, talked down to basically treated terribly. The inspector (I think it was) just tried to bully me into doing what he said and accused me of all sorts. The whole incident was handled terribly.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:58

EveryKneeShallBow · 22/03/2025 10:42

This has unfortunately been my experience as well. I’ve not had a lot of dealings with them and I’m not vulnerable or unable to advocate for myself but their whole set up is designed to wrong-foot, demean, denigrate and disenfranchise people. I have stories like those on this thread about my family members, but no use going into all that. Just to say those of you who think the police are on your side, there to help you out when you need them and maybe there’s just one or two “bad apples”. Let me tell you the barrel is rotten to the core and like a fish it rots from the head down.

Show quote history

I completely agree. The worse one I have come across was an inspector - no wonder the constables think it is fine to act the way they do.

OP posts:
MillieCan · 22/03/2025 11:01

Both you and the officer will have a different perspective on what occurred. If you have considered the events truthfully and dispassionately and still believe you were treated poorly and potentially assaulted it’s your duty to report this formally so that there is a record at the very least.

hideawayforever · 22/03/2025 11:12

how many complaints are you making about the police what was the problem last time? how come you have so many dealings with the police?

Loveheart101 · 22/03/2025 12:12

People are being really twatty on this thread.

It’s not difficult to understand why someone might have had to call the police a few times as a victim of crime or to report a crime that’s taken place. I’ve had to call the police on several occasions. Why is that difficult to believe/understand?

It’s also not hard to believe that an organisation can be corrupt and rotten from the inside out and that this impacts the public.

ffs 🙄

Loveheart101 · 22/03/2025 12:14

Loveheart101 · 22/03/2025 12:12

People are being really twatty on this thread.

It’s not difficult to understand why someone might have had to call the police a few times as a victim of crime or to report a crime that’s taken place. I’ve had to call the police on several occasions. Why is that difficult to believe/understand?

It’s also not hard to believe that an organisation can be corrupt and rotten from the inside out and that this impacts the public.

ffs 🙄

Also not difficult to believe that a male in a position of authority could show aggression through using unreasonable force and knowing he will get away with it.

Original poster
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 12:23

hideawayforever · 22/03/2025 11:12

how many complaints are you making about the police what was the problem last time? how come you have so many dealings with the police?

I don't have so many dealings. There has been 2 incidents with my ex partner who unfortunately is very mentally unwell. The main issue last time was the police trying to bully me into putting myself and my children in danger.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 12:25

Loveheart101 · 22/03/2025 12:12

People are being really twatty on this thread.

It’s not difficult to understand why someone might have had to call the police a few times as a victim of crime or to report a crime that’s taken place. I’ve had to call the police on several occasions. Why is that difficult to believe/understand?

It’s also not hard to believe that an organisation can be corrupt and rotten from the inside out and that this impacts the public.

ffs 🙄

I know. It's the insinuation that because I've had to call the police for a couple of incidents I must be trouble/unreliable etc. The victim blaming is very unfair.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 12:27

Loveheart101 · 22/03/2025 12:14

Also not difficult to believe that a male in a position of authority could show aggression through using unreasonable force and knowing he will get away with it.

Show quote history

Yes and you can see how he will get away with it with so many people on this thread saying he must have just been shutting the door!

OP posts:
CreationNat1on · 22/03/2025 12:36

Surely everyone needs to call the police several times over the course of their lives.

Similar to other emergency services.

Some absolute bellends on this thread.

Power corrupts, as they say.

stresssd · 22/03/2025 12:58

I had a happy relationship for 12 years until dh joined the police. 6 years in it has changed him into an unrecognisable arsehole who lies, cheats and has emotionally/psychologically broken me. He doesn't think he's changed but he is absolutely a bully. He sees alot of vulnerable people as worth less than him now.

CreationNat1on · 22/03/2025 13:03

Some police in my in-laws extended family, they are very corrupt and unpleasant people, they bully and engage in elder abuse and they land grab. They cause so much upset to everyone they leave behind.

ginasevern · 22/03/2025 13:32

Yes, the police are bullying bastards. I've had limited dealings but the ones I've had have been truly humiliating and horrible. They've intimated me and seem to be more concerned with "protecting" the guilty party. Not sure if it's because I'm a woman but the amount of sexual assault, rape, etc committed by police themselves should tell us all we need to know.

Original poster
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 13:40

stresssd · 22/03/2025 12:58

I had a happy relationship for 12 years until dh joined the police. 6 years in it has changed him into an unrecognisable arsehole who lies, cheats and has emotionally/psychologically broken me. He doesn't think he's changed but he is absolutely a bully. He sees alot of vulnerable people as worth less than him now.

That is so sad to hear. I'm really sorry that you've gone through that.

OP posts:
NordicGiant · 22/03/2025 13:47

I believe you.

I had them come round my house a couple of years back, demanding to come in and look for someone I'd supposedly beaten up. I live alone and there was no one here. Turns out they'd mistaken me for someone else.

They physically manhandled me (I'm tiny and I was literally just sitting talking to them and trying to explain) and were rude and aggressive. They seemed genuinely angry at me that I wasn't who they thought I was.

I won't answer the door to the police again.

Original poster
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 15:21

NordicGiant · 22/03/2025 13:47

I believe you.

I had them come round my house a couple of years back, demanding to come in and look for someone I'd supposedly beaten up. I live alone and there was no one here. Turns out they'd mistaken me for someone else.

They physically manhandled me (I'm tiny and I was literally just sitting talking to them and trying to explain) and were rude and aggressive. They seemed genuinely angry at me that I wasn't who they thought I was.

I won't answer the door to the police again.

Edited

That sounds so intimidating, I'm so sorry to hear that. I felt similar to you that they were angry at me for no good reason. Being professional doesn't seem to exist for many of them.

OP posts:
NordicGiant · 22/03/2025 15:45

Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 15:21

That sounds so intimidating, I'm so sorry to hear that. I felt similar to you that they were angry at me for no good reason. Being professional doesn't seem to exist for many of them.

Show quote history

No, it doesn't. They did everything they could to escalate the situation and make it worse.

At one point, they were putting handcuffs on me - I had my hands out straight and completely still. I was so still that when they went to take them off, my hand slipped out because I hadn't moved to cause it to lock tightly. And he shouted something like, "stop hitting me!" as he was doing it.

I just replied calmly something along the lines of, "I haven't hit you or touched you."

It was outrageous. So yes, I absolutely believe you.

OneTC · 22/03/2025 16:16

As a job it attracts arseholes.

And then they have great difficulty removing or punishing the ones that are too much of an arsehole to be safe around the public.

The head of the met agrees with at least 50% of my point

Original poster
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 16:24

OneTC · 22/03/2025 16:16

As a job it attracts arseholes.

And then they have great difficulty removing or punishing the ones that are too much of an arsehole to be safe around the public.

The head of the met agrees with at least 50% of my point

I mean it is no wonder they don't punish any of them because you can't even report them commiting a crime and a complaint goes no where. Nothing is taken seriously.

OP posts:
Snorlaxo · 22/03/2025 16:28

I believe that there’s a statistic that says sociopaths and psychopaths are over represented in law enforcement and as CEOs because they enjoy the power.

I have had some bad and good experiences with the police and I’m sorry that your experience was negative.

Original poster
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 16:44

Snorlaxo · 22/03/2025 16:28

I believe that there’s a statistic that says sociopaths and psychopaths are over represented in law enforcement and as CEOs because they enjoy the power.

I have had some bad and good experiences with the police and I’m sorry that your experience was negative.

Thank you. And yes, that makes a lot of sense.

OP posts:
LucyBee0ox · 22/03/2025 16:46

YADNBU. There was a study a while back about how they’re much more likely than the general population to be domestic abusers. Sadly it attracts the type of person who enjoys having power over others.

BitOutOfPractice · 22/03/2025 16:51

I’m a law abiding middle aged woman in her 50s with nothing more shady than a speeding ticket in her past and I absolutely 100% do not trust the police.

Yatzydog · 22/03/2025 17:49

I have not had need to use the police but I do know many police officers personally, and more commonly their wives , and almost with no exception the police I have encountered are all bullying bastards (and often cheating bastards and or violently abusive husbands) but I appreciate that is anecdotal

I remember a thread on MN about which profession is the worse for a partner. The posts were in the hundreds and the majority said the Police. Bullying, DV and cheating were given as the reasons.

ThriveIn2025 · 22/03/2025 17:59

I went to a friends house after I was assaulted by my then husband (around 20yrs ago). She convinced me to go to the police and accompanied me to the station. I was interviewed by 2 male officers. They concluded it was my word against his. They did not take a statement from me. They did not photograph my injuries. They did not question him or remove him from my home. I was very much treated like a silly little girl.

So yes, I believe you OP and sadly not much has changed in 20 years.