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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find so many police bullies?

83 replies

Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 00:28

Is it just me who finds so many police just utter bullies?

I unfortunately had to call them today and the officer was just so arrogant at knowing it all (while knowing nothing and just completely ignorant) and then as I stood holding my door open for him to leave he grabbed hold of my knocker and yanked the door taking my arm with it hurting me and has broken my knocker.

I'm just so sick of it. I phoned the police to report his assault of me and apparently you can't report a crime a police officer has committed- I have to make a complaint. And no, they won't send a different officer round to take a statement from me (about what I originally phoned the police for.) - they will send him around to potentially assault me again - thanks for the understanding!

I'm told I have to make a complaint for inappropriate force - I mean what exactly do they consider appropriate force against a member of the public politely holding the door open for them? The mind boggles. There's no point in making a complaint as I tried it last time and 4 months later there's been no response! Noone can tell me when I may or may not get a response. They are literally a law unto themselves!

OP posts:
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:07

BlondiePortz · 22/03/2025 05:30

Is there a common denominator in this at all do you think?

Yes, the police, sadly

OP posts:
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:08

Changeyourlifes · 22/03/2025 05:32

I hate the police too. They probably hate me too - I have placed formal complaints about officers and escalated it all the way after being fobbed off. Certain police officers think they are above the law.

This is exactly the feeling I have been left with

OP posts:
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:10

kittenkipping · 22/03/2025 05:40

I have not had need to use the police but I do know many police officers personally, and more commonly their wives , and almost with no exception the police I have encountered are all bullying bastards (and often cheating bastards and or violently abusive husbands) but I appreciate that is anecdotal

I can honestly believe that after my recent experience.

OP posts:
Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 22/03/2025 10:12

The way that police talk to vulnerable people when they “think” they aren’t being watched is disgusting. I can’t say more than that.

Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:12

TuddlyCoy · 22/03/2025 05:41

I used to think the police were there to protect, you could trust them etc. Then I actually experienced them when we were related to a victim of crime who died. The bizarre bullying, incompetency and actually threatening behaviour towards our family (who had done nothing except be related to a person who died) was an eye opener. I recall one incident where myself, my mum and my partner (middle class highly educated people, I say that for context to illustrate that we are usually capable of being able to access support and stick up for ourselves, we were not vulnerable) were turned upon by the police in such an egregious manner that we just sat there absolutely agog jaws on the ground.
I do not trust them AT ALL.

I feel the same. I always thought you could trust them, they'd help in an emergency. But whatvI have seen has just been deeply toxic. I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them.

OP posts:
Middleagedstriker · 22/03/2025 10:15

I have two good friends who work for the police. They're absolutely fabulous however I know two of other people that work for the police who are vile, openly misogynistic, racist and one of them is definitely abusive towards his wife.

My friends have left almost many times because of culture anyone who thinks it isn't bad just need to read the report on the met. It's pretty damming.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 22/03/2025 10:15

cait967 · 22/03/2025 08:04

Nurses and sen teachers!!!
honestly I’ve had a lot of dealings with both and I have always found them kind and patient. Especially the sen teachers.

Honestly, they all have a demanding job

But the mean girl culture in all of those jobs is insane and stems from them being bullies at school

Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:15

pinkdelight · 22/03/2025 05:46

Do you genuinely think the door thing was intentional? It sounds like he was closing the door, unaware of your arm and obviously unaware that the door knocker would get damaged. Are you saying it came off in his hand and he didn’t care or that it was damaged in a way that he didn’t necessarily notice? That example sounds like a stretch for assault and bullying, though I’m not doubting that he could’ve come across poorly in your exchange, no doubt some officers are and it goes beyond a few ‘bad apples’ for lots of reasons, systemic and to do with the type of person who can do - and who wants to do - a job like that. There’s a mix of course, some better than others, but there’s definitely traits that make someone able to go towards trouble instead of running away from it like most of us, and it doesn’t always make for the warmest of souls. I don’t think that the complaint about the door is a great example though, the way you’ve put it, and it’s hard to tell your part in things too, if this keeps happening.

Yes, I do. He yanked it with such force that the knocker came off. He was fully aware I was standing there holding the door for him. Who closes someone's front door when they are standing there holding it?

OP posts:
ArseofOrion · 22/03/2025 10:15

I know a couple of utterly vile PCSOs who exploit what little power they have and my god they are the most hideous people I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet!

Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:17

sweeneytoddsrazor · 22/03/2025 05:52

How is closing a door by pulling the door knocker assault. He may have been genuinely unaware you were holding it.

He was fully aware I was holding it. He did it to hurt me - that is assault.

OP posts:
MightAsWellBeGretel · 22/03/2025 10:20

How many dealings have you have with the police to base your judgement on?

There are rude and inappropriate people in all walks of life. I do think that positions with some 'authority' (teacher, police officer, army for example) do attract the wrong people sometimes and the usual proportion of arseholes might be skewed, but the police officers I know take their role really seriously and are genuinely socially minded and want to help people.

Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:20

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 22/03/2025 06:24

Assault? Are you sure you're not being overly dramatic? Unfortunate injury, yes but assault? Nope, not from what you've described. what kind of life are you living where you interact with them so frequently to know they're all bullies? I think you missed the boat with the 'down with the po-lice' sentiment 4 years ago...

If it was a member of the public doing this to the police they wouldn't be calling it 'unfortunate injury'.

And if you've not had to interact with them then lucky you, but you obviously have no experience in this so your opinion is presumably just a presumption. I also felt like that before I had contact with the police.

OP posts:
Linux20 · 22/03/2025 10:23

We don’t know the circumstances so we can’t judge. I know a lot of police officers and I know they are exhausted and worn out from being constantly understaffed, underpaid and under supported from all sides. They meet the worst in humanity on a day to day basis. The things they see would give you nightmares. Honestly! I came to this post about 2 minutes after reading the post below. This is one example of what they have to deal with on a daily basis and it’s only when something big like Southport happens that it gets in the press so it’s no wonder that sometimes they don’t have the patience of a saint.

𝗦𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗳𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿-𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻𝗷𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 – 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗦𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗴𝘂𝗲

The Southport stabbings horrified the country. Three girls murdered. Dozens injured.

The next evening, outside Southport Islamic Society, a violent mob gathered and turned on police.

Sergeant Phillip Sinclair stood on the frontline, hours after escorting two of those girls to the morgue. Then he was hit in the head with a brick.

It was thrown by Kevin Clark, a thug from Wigan with 33 previous offences. He didn’t stop at one – he threw over 20 bricks at police.

As Sinclair collapsed bleeding, the mob cheered. One shouted “one down”. His daughter saw it live on her phone.

Eight months on, Sinclair is still on crutches, in daily pain, and told he’ll never return to the job he loved. His son helps him out the bath. His wife helps him dress. His career – and his independence – gone.

Most people mourned the stabbings. This mob came to fight.

Clark got three and a half years. He’ll likely serve two.

They didn’t care what Sinclair had done the day before. Didn’t care he was a father. They saw a uniform and chose violence.

The court heard Clark was at the front of the mob. Even after hitting Sinclair, he kept throwing bricks.

He gave everything to that uniform. The court gave Clark a sentence that wouldn’t scare a shoplifter.

People should be ashamed. But they won’t be. Because shame takes decency – and there was none that night.

Our thoughts are with Sergeant Sinclair and his family. He deserved better. And so do the officers still putting on the uniform, knowing this could happen to them too.

[📸 Credit Merseyside Police]

Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:24

GRex · 22/03/2025 07:02

This.

It sounds quite mad TBH, so I'm not surprised at the response to you trying to get him booked for assault. There are good and bad police officers, but based just on the door knocker YABVVVVVVVU. He's a human who pulled a door closed, focus on important things in life and you'll be much happier.

No as I said he yanked a door I was holding with such force the door knocker came off and I was injured.

OP posts:
Moier · 22/03/2025 10:25

I don't like the police..but this stems from the late 80s when l was drugged raped by a few men.
But according to the police.. l was drunk.
I wore my skirt too short.
I had bright red lipstick on.
My top was too low and my bust too big.
My heels were too high.
I honestly gave up.
They were horrific ( males).

CreationNat1on · 22/03/2025 10:26

They deal with toxicity every day, and over time they learn toxic traits.

That is no excuse, complain.

My experience of police is, they have huge egos and are prone to bullying.

OP I m sorry you were treated like that.

Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:26

Serencwtch · 22/03/2025 07:03

If it's genuinely happened how you have said then put a complaint in - they do have to investigate - he will have had a body worn video camera that will have recorded everything both of you have said and done.

I'm loathe to put in another complaint as I've had no response to my first 4 months ago.

I don't know if the body cam will show anything either as I assume he had his back to the door when he tugged it.

OP posts:
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:31

Loveheart101 · 22/03/2025 08:39

Yanbu.

I had a report a rape, it was 20 years ago now I was raped by my then boyfriend, but it was dealt with horrendously. The detective clearly didn’t believe me and thought that I was just out for revenge. They refused to look into evidence and try to retrieve text messages where he’d admitted it. They ignored messages I still had on my phone where he’d been threatening me, they dismissed the messages and refused to even read them. Said it wouldn’t be relevant.

Later on I had to call them again because he was harassing and threatening me and again, they were dismissive of threatening messages I had on my phone.

Years later I reported a situation where a child was bringing groomed online. (One of my dcs school friends) A girl was being asked for explicit photos from an adult male online. My child had become aware and told me. Again I had evidence and screenshots. They refused to look into it and said that the child’s parents would have to report it themselves. I couldn’t report it on the parent’s behalf. School were aware too. Nothing was done 🤷‍♀️

Ive had to report crime a few times, car broken into, that sort of thing. Nearly every time I’ve found them to be rude, dismissive and aggressive.

I'm so sorry to hear your experiences. But I have found the same. Of all the police officers I have come across with these 2 instances most of them have been so unpleasant. There is something deeply wrong with my local police force that this behaviour is seen as normal and acceptable.

OP posts:
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:38

MightAsWellBeGretel · 22/03/2025 10:20

How many dealings have you have with the police to base your judgement on?

There are rude and inappropriate people in all walks of life. I do think that positions with some 'authority' (teacher, police officer, army for example) do attract the wrong people sometimes and the usual proportion of arseholes might be skewed, but the police officers I know take their role really seriously and are genuinely socially minded and want to help people.

This is based on 2 incidents but due to the circumstances there has been multiple officers involved. I have seen enough to know something is deeply wrong and after the incident last night I just had a bit of a meltdown over it and posted here. It is just so shocking.

OP posts:
Fromtheeighties · 22/03/2025 10:39

Op, can I ask what you complained about the first time?

Serencwtch · 22/03/2025 10:40

Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:26

I'm loathe to put in another complaint as I've had no response to my first 4 months ago.

I don't know if the body cam will show anything either as I assume he had his back to the door when he tugged it.

Body worn captures really good evidence as it records everything you have both said & done.
It will certainly show whether his manner/attitude was poor and if was behaving in an aggressive or bullying way.
It will also show how you have acted & anything you have said & the manner.

They do have to investigate if you have followed the correct process for raising a complaint. There are processes to escalate it if you do not receive a response.

There are some amazing officers on the frontline who do their best dealing with ever decreasing standards of public respect and behaviour towards them, however there are also a minority who fall short of the standards expected of them.

The level of scrutiny of police is far higher than other services eg NHS

EveryKneeShallBow · 22/03/2025 10:42

Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:12

I feel the same. I always thought you could trust them, they'd help in an emergency. But whatvI have seen has just been deeply toxic. I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them.

This has unfortunately been my experience as well. I’ve not had a lot of dealings with them and I’m not vulnerable or unable to advocate for myself but their whole set up is designed to wrong-foot, demean, denigrate and disenfranchise people. I have stories like those on this thread about my family members, but no use going into all that. Just to say those of you who think the police are on your side, there to help you out when you need them and maybe there’s just one or two “bad apples”. Let me tell you the barrel is rotten to the core and like a fish it rots from the head down.

Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:44

Linux20 · 22/03/2025 10:23

We don’t know the circumstances so we can’t judge. I know a lot of police officers and I know they are exhausted and worn out from being constantly understaffed, underpaid and under supported from all sides. They meet the worst in humanity on a day to day basis. The things they see would give you nightmares. Honestly! I came to this post about 2 minutes after reading the post below. This is one example of what they have to deal with on a daily basis and it’s only when something big like Southport happens that it gets in the press so it’s no wonder that sometimes they don’t have the patience of a saint.

𝗦𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗳𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿-𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻𝗷𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 – 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗦𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗴𝘂𝗲

The Southport stabbings horrified the country. Three girls murdered. Dozens injured.

The next evening, outside Southport Islamic Society, a violent mob gathered and turned on police.

Sergeant Phillip Sinclair stood on the frontline, hours after escorting two of those girls to the morgue. Then he was hit in the head with a brick.

It was thrown by Kevin Clark, a thug from Wigan with 33 previous offences. He didn’t stop at one – he threw over 20 bricks at police.

As Sinclair collapsed bleeding, the mob cheered. One shouted “one down”. His daughter saw it live on her phone.

Eight months on, Sinclair is still on crutches, in daily pain, and told he’ll never return to the job he loved. His son helps him out the bath. His wife helps him dress. His career – and his independence – gone.

Most people mourned the stabbings. This mob came to fight.

Clark got three and a half years. He’ll likely serve two.

They didn’t care what Sinclair had done the day before. Didn’t care he was a father. They saw a uniform and chose violence.

The court heard Clark was at the front of the mob. Even after hitting Sinclair, he kept throwing bricks.

He gave everything to that uniform. The court gave Clark a sentence that wouldn’t scare a shoplifter.

People should be ashamed. But they won’t be. Because shame takes decency – and there was none that night.

Our thoughts are with Sergeant Sinclair and his family. He deserved better. And so do the officers still putting on the uniform, knowing this could happen to them too.

[📸 Credit Merseyside Police]

I'm a nurse. I see all sorts of things and are understaffed and under supported. I don't and have never acted like multiple officers have to me. I get not having the patience of a saint. I don't get being violent towards a member of the public because you want to throw your weight around. He didn't like that I showed him up as being ignorant of sec 136. I get this may sound crazy. But honestly I have seen so much it didn't even shock me just really upset me.

OP posts:
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:44

Moier · 22/03/2025 10:25

I don't like the police..but this stems from the late 80s when l was drugged raped by a few men.
But according to the police.. l was drunk.
I wore my skirt too short.
I had bright red lipstick on.
My top was too low and my bust too big.
My heels were too high.
I honestly gave up.
They were horrific ( males).

I'm really sorry to hear this

OP posts:
Sotired222 · 22/03/2025 10:46

CreationNat1on · 22/03/2025 10:26

They deal with toxicity every day, and over time they learn toxic traits.

That is no excuse, complain.

My experience of police is, they have huge egos and are prone to bullying.

OP I m sorry you were treated like that.

Thank you ❤️

I agree, this officer had a huge ego.

OP posts:
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