Abuse claims and rape culture identified at 1,600 primary schools

[Diabladingo]

Posting in AIBU for traffic. I just think that all parents should know about this:

https://www.thetimes.com/article/602e2322-5012-4efc-b961-a501ae2faf8f?shareToken=6c9795cf780b8ee57ef55102b54f2b88

This. “Oh our Timmy MUST have his smart phone he can’t regulate without it!!”

nonsense.

@Maitri108. The rules will not stick. It’s unenforceable. Parents can buy the phones and allow dc to use them at home. Take a brick to school. It’s really never going to work but it sends a message and will piss the young off even more.

My attitude to this is fine the parents.

@Maitri108. If you don’t catch the dc with the phones, how will you fine parents? Are we stopping and searching all dc in your world? It won’t work. It will just go underground. Porn was on the top shelves in newsagents. Did that stop younger people seeing it? Of course not. We don’t have enough police to get anywhere near a fining regime.

I'm very concerned about small children being neglected, I'm surprised others aren't. Exposing primary school children to porn and extremism is neglect and abuse.

We should ban smartphones for under 16s and criminalise parents who break the law. However I'm interested in hearing your suggestions.

@Maitri108. Far more effort put into parenting classes and closer supervision of dc flagged up by SS. You cannot police a million dc. Better responsible parenting has to be the answer. It’s difficult because the state would be choosing who needs parenting skills. The police are not the answer.

I wonder how Australia are going to do it. It's a very sad state of affairs when a society decides it can't police child neglect.

Better responsible parenting has to be the answer.

That's evidently not happening.

Where is the list of schools? I can’t seem to find it. Thank you.

Jesus Christ I thought Me Too had made significant in roads into preventing this behaviour and dealing with it better in schools

I’m really upset some schools and parents are so lax

I’ve been pondering this - as someone who experienced CSA and now with two children. Yes it’s concerning, but is it actually worse than years gone by or are we just talking about it more, acknowledging it and identifying it?

@KittenPause. Do you know all the dates of the reporters incidents? Is that made clear anywhere?

@Maitri108. I suspect Australia won’t be able to police what parents buy and what goes on in homes. It might mean DC don’t see some content and kill themselves but they will still have laptops! It will just be seen on a different device. It’s naive to think phones are the only enemy.

Australia aren't banning phones, they're banning social media for under 16s and the ban is largely supported by parenting groups.

They have requested that social media companies find a way to keep children off their apps.

I have no idea how it will work and it will be interesting to see. Other countries including the UK, are interested in seeing how it develops.

We have to do something because things are looking dire.

Of course it’s supported by good parents but others won’t care. This is the problem we all have. Dc will find a way to access unsavoury apps. It’s not all on apps either - so yes, could be worthwhile but dc are into more than apps.

Unfortunately some parents aren't capable of making good decisions for their children and my suggestion is for them to be fined.

It seems that many parents in Australia are supportive of the ban so we'll see how it goes.

When I was at primary school there were a group of boys that tried to view the girls changing in the bathrooms (after boys and girls started changing separately).

Even when we changed together I know some boys would try and see the girls change.

Now I remember being in year 2 a boy telling us "I'm going to go give her a wedgie" and then girl pleading with him saying "please don't"

More girls than boys are sexually abused as children, so yes, he may be a victim, but has it ever crossed your mind, that she might be too, and is getting abused at home AND at school?

I'd say both.

I was held back by a group of boys on the school playground at the end of the school day, pinned down onto my hand and knees and the ring leader pulled my pants down.
I was 7. It was the 1980s.
Fortunately DM came down to see why I was late and caught him and made dire threats to him. He was certainly very cagey when our dog was brought to the school gates after that.

But safeguarding wasn't a thing on the radar then. We were about 8 years away from Dunblane occuring and beginning to put controls against adult abuse on to the radar. Corporal punishment in state schools had only been banned a couple of years earlier and was still legal in the private sector.

What is worse now is the avaliability of porn and misogenistic culture. It's not tatty magazines in hedges or grainy VHSs. An unregulated phone/ tablet/ computer can share content fast.

As a parent who tries to be responsible, has controls and monitors what my sons do, I hope that they haven't been exposed to these cultures. I haven't seen evidence that they engage with them, but my 14yo is far more technically minded than me so there are limits on what I can manage. Both are still very "eurgh" to things like kissing and I hope that's a healthy sign. They do have healthy real life interests and favour the company of sensible, calm people. I talk to them about boundaries and they have come to me if they have been uncertain about online content (which have been minor issues)
But there are no guarentees.

Posters are raising church schools and leafy areas. I suspect that they will contain a greater proportion of parents with these issues on their radar and confidence at the process of reporting them when they occur. Many parents will have safeguarding training from professional or voluntary roles. I doubt that there are major differences from one school demographic to another in terms of incidents being likely to occur and it's a reporting difference. I wouldn't assume that any school is free of it, but individual schools may be better at promoting healthier cultures than others.

I think both - there is more awareness but probably also more abuse.

In the 70s kids might have seen page 3 or a grubby magazine but they'd not have seen porn, people has to go to the cinema for that! Now almost every kid over the age of 10 and plenty much younger have strangulation, choking, anal, incels literally in their pocket. It has to be having an effect, it'd been mad to think it doesn't.

I think awareness of the possibility of abuse is greater but also kids, adolescents and adults exposure to dehumanising sexual violence is greater.

@leopardsprint
Don't be complacent about your child's school.

@BogRollBOGOF My view is that church and leafy lane parents will be more likely to report. I’m surprised at most of the schools mentioned in my locality. Most solidly middle class with aspirational parents. The sorts of schools parents are proud dc attend.