Abuse claims and rape culture identified at 1,600 primary schools

[Diabladingo]

Posting in AIBU for traffic. I just think that all parents should know about this:

https://www.thetimes.com/article/602e2322-5012-4efc-b961-a501ae2faf8f?shareToken=6c9795cf780b8ee57ef55102b54f2b88

Usually teachers are not on the playground. However there are policies in place to safeguard dc and the school must be active in this. Why didn’t you report this to Ofsted? Or make a formal complaint? How do you know what did or did not happen to the boys? No one would be able to discuss it with you.

Blaming the behaviour of some women for the sexual assaults carried out by boys in schools is misogyny. There are no 'mixed messages' if boys (and men) understand consent. One woman selling half naked pictures on the internet isn't an excuse to not understand that that women and girls are actual individual humans with their own thoughts and wishes, just like boys and men are.

It used to be 'she was asking for it' if a woman was assaulted while wearing a short skirt, or while drunk; apparently now we're all asking for it because some women make money from sleazy photos online. Like it's too hard to boys to differentiate between a sex worker on the internet and a girl in his class. We're all just interchangeable service humans and if one wants to be seen as a sex object, boys can't be expected to know we all don't, poor confused souls.

Your looking at it too black and white. Your also going to extremes talking about sex workers etc. Its more subtle than that. The thread is about behavior in primary schools. A lot of these young boys dont even fully understand what it all means they are simply copying what they hear and see. If the problem is getting worse you have to ask why is it getting worse? And primarily it falls on the parents overall. Mothers and fathers raising these boys.

According to PP, it's getting worse because some women online want to be seen as sexual objects, which confuses the poor boys about how to treat other humans.

I agree with you, this is to a large extent a parenting fail. We all need to be aware of what's out there and what's influencing our children, and we need to model good relationships and behaviour towards others. Blaming women for the behaviour of males, as PP did, isn't it.

DDs school is on there. I am horrified and devastated

@NotMyDayJobThats a huge over reaction. One issue is that no one knows what exactly has happened. We don’t know if the situation was dealt with. You don’t know anything about the incident or even if it’s true. Self reporting is not always accurate and never reflects how the school dealt with the incident.

I’ve just looked for schools in my area. Successful village CofE schools people love. Some very popular schools and most in leafy lane expensive areas. No shortage of applicants.

Only one in a deprived area. That interested me. I’d also bet some of these schools have had some Sen pupils who didn’t know right from wrong. We have schools that cannot fill up from the villages but take sen pupils from nearby towns. Not always the easiest dc and some with very challenging behaviour issues due to Sen. Looking at a few of the schools around here, it’s almost unbelievable to see them on the list. Poor parenting would be fairly rare. The one in the deprived area has a strong head.

Look at all the St something schools! Where are they all? All the CofE schools!!! Often many church going parents choose these schools. One reported incident does not make these schools poor and talking to parents usually would allay fears. Or not of course. No doubt many of the reports are true but how long ago and was it a DC with Sen behaviour issues that were not met and the child wasn’t in an appropriate setting? Why so few reports from deprived area schools? Do people in these schools view things differently? I don’t know but the list for my area was very biased towards popular leafy lane schools with a great reputation. I would not be devastated at all because these schools probably dealt with the incident.

Good for you. Have a thumbs up. I’ll feel like I feel if that’s ok.

Surely some of the issue is not how a school dealt with the issue (if they did) but that it actually happened at all i.e we as parents need to collectively figure out how to address this behaviour in kids and work with schools on appropriate and earlier teaching of consent etc

I think it’s a huge reach to potentially identify SEN kids as the driver for a lot of this; at our school the more risqué language and behaviour often comes from kids from ‘naice’ families and who have older siblings

In terms of why does the study seem to represent better off areas; Id wager that part of it is to do with parents knowing about this campaign through different social media etc

I find it odd that you seem surprised that this is happening in schools / areas that you know are nice - that doesn’t mean this stuff doesn’t happen there and that professional middle class parents aren’t ignoring what their kids are up to. As for how schools have dealt with incidents, you only have to read a few testimonies to see that they haven’t, and have tried to brush things under carpet and play it down.

an I being a bit dense or is there somewhere that the list of schools is expanded on. For example there are loads of schools with the name St Peter’s so how do you know which one it is

@Redspottyfrog. The list I looked at was on the web site quoted. For example there are three “St Joseph’s Catholic School” and one “St Joseph’s Roman Catholic Primary School”. Could be anywhere. No idea what the date of the report is either. Current or historic. Others might know. Some are also private schools. There’s a “St James Primary School” listed, but there’s loads of them. So it’s precise for some schools where the village name is obvious or you just know the school name but for a casual reader some are not obvious.

My daughters school is phrased in a certain way that means I can distinguish it from other schools with the ‘same’ name

for what it’s worth it is a ‘St’ school in a nice area, im not so naive as to think these things don’t happen even in ‘nice’ schools but it’s a shock to see it written down

Yes I’m sure some “St” schools are identifiable. However you don’t know the details or what did happen. You don’t know if it was dealt with or not. My comment about leafy lane was that in my areas the schools listed are overwhelmingly leafy lane. Therefore it seems to be a largely leafy lane issue and I don’t believe that for one minute. I’m not naive either.

I would not be devastated at all because these schools probably dealt with the incident

I doubt ‘schools’ dealt with it! They don’t record SA - they don’t involve the police, at best is a call home where the parent inevitability denies their child’s involvement.

3 girls reported rape in Dads year group - the police said as they were ‘the same age’ it was difficult to prove - all against the same boy.

Video footage of underage kids having sex and distributed easily and quickly, it’s moved on from dick pics.

Id like to see single sex education make a come back, if only to give these children a chance at a decent education.

This will wholly depend if it’s pre safeguarding legislation or post the legislation. It makes a huge difference and the list doesn’t tell you. In many ways it tells you little. There’s a duty now to escalate disclosures. The school is breaking the law if rape allegations are not reported via safeguarding. If indeed they were disclosures. We don’t know that either. Did the schools have a chance to do anything? If safeguarding is failing, that’s different.

Remember a head teacher took her own life because her school failed ofsted due to failing safeguarding. Ofsted take it very seriously and allegations can be reported to them if the school doesn’t safeguard effectively.

I think kids (especially girls) are more informed and with nspcc programmes they have a much better idea of inappropriate and telling someone.

I grew up boys grabbing my ass, pinging my bra, unfastening my bra, groping in busy hall ways - admittedly secondary school but I didn't want to make a fuss or be seen as that girl

I also remember having our bras undone, boys loitering at the bottom of the stairs so they could look up our skirts, being asked to line up so they could inspect our fingernails and decide whether we were acceptable as a woman or not. I remember a tick sheet going up in the common room where the boys would declare if they preferred a woman or a wank. Yes, there was a lot of misogyny and harassment in schools in the past it just wasn't reported.

I grew up with none of that! Not all schools were like this. Or boys. We had girls and boys stairs!

Horrific.
something has to change.

Access to the world online has to change.

I’m currently helping a 12 year old who watched a beheading online (when ISIS was flooding social media with their evil content and propaganda) and he has most definitely been affected. His behaviour is very challenging.

I teach teenagers who have been online since they were toddlers. Their own phones at 5, 6. Mummy and Daddy constantly online too.

These innocent souls are being exposed to adult content during their formative years. Adult content that I would refuse to look at.

I didn’t allow my DC access to social media until they were 16 and even then, I rue the day that this whole online world was invented.

Why don’t we ban social media for under 16’s? Australia is doing it.

Maybe related to unchecked access to anything on the internet? Some awful things seen by young children, who appear to have unlimited, unregulated access to anything.

Society is sick. No way would i put my daughters in co-ed. Pulled the eldest out after some little fucktard filmed up her skirt and they will be in an all girls' school til they are 18.

And no way would i put my boy into an all boys' school, either.

And people are criticised for not wanting their children into the state school system. Never have I been so glad we made the decision to home educate over 10 years ago. You couldn't pay me enough to put my children into state education.

@LittleEsme. These parents will allow dc to use phones registered to them! Banning makes people feel good but it’s easily circumvented. It’s more of a morality issue. The phones are just the vehicles that carry the stuff. Like a pc in your home. Banning phones won’t help much now with poor parenting.

It's reminiscent of schools stopping chips and parents stuffing packets of chips through the playground fence to their obese offspring.

I think at the very least there needs to be a nationwide smartphone ban until 18. Parents' could be fined £500 if their DC is found owning one.

And this is why I’m home educating. Schools are a cesspit it’s so sad to see what our education system has become.