If you don’t contribute to the collection you shouldn’t sign the card

[fartfacenotfatface]

I was tasked with organising the office whip-round for a colleague’s special occasion. I shared my bank details on the office WhatsApp and popped a card and my favourite biro in the tea room.
30 people signed the card but only 5 have pinged me any money.
I don’t know why, but it’s bugging me. When we pass on the gift and card, the recipient will no doubt assume that most of the office have contributed when in reality only a small handful have. The cost of the gift is irrelevant here as one office member has been especially generous with their contribution so we can still buy a nice gift. I’ve not disclosed to anyone information about many people have contributed.

YABU - anyone can sign the card. It’s the thought that counts.
YANBU - you should only sign the card if you’ve contributed to the collection for the gift.

This. It's better to have a small gift and good wishes from lots of people than a small gift and a tiny handful of comments in a card. I'm assuming this is a big card you've bought, based on the fact 30 people could be signing.

Of course it would be nice if everyone chucked a couple of quid in the pot, but they don't only get access to the card if they do that - that completely defeats the object.

An opposite version of this used to annoy me at my old workplace. A collection envelope would go around and more often than not I’d contribute, but then there’d be no follow-up card to sign. After making a point of asking a few times if the card could be passed around at the same time as the collection envelope to avoid missing out and nothing changed, I stopped contributing.

Nobody should feel obliged to contribute and it’s grim that bank details are used so you know who has done it. In future let people drop some cash in an envelope like in the old days.

If I was the recipient I would probably be a bit upset if only five people signed the card. It’s better to get 30 people sending best wishes surely? The card and the gift are two distinct things; it’s not “pay to sign”. The value of the gift will make it clear that not everyone contributed and the five that paid can feel good about themselves in the knowledge that they were the more generous people. If any of these people want to be recognised for their generosity then perhaps they should give gifts individually?

I liked the favourite biro part. I'd be friends with the OP on the strength of that alone.

When I organise collections at work, I allow bank payments and cash. Different roles at my work place have vastly different salary levels. It's easier for people wanting to donate a small amount to give cash anonymously, whereas online £5 or £10, or even higher, are the usual donations. People don't want to look stingy 'publicly' - even though only I have access, they know I will know and don't know whether others might not find out too.

As for signing the card - I do feel only contributors should but I don't police it. Because of anonymous cash donations, I'm not sure anyway. But in my job we only collect for big events like moving on or a baby, not birthdays. And most card signers have donated.

I think you’re half correct and I can see why it would annoy you. But I’d not offer to get a card off everyone and just for those who contribute sign the one you get.

However money is so tight for a lot of people and I can’t afford to transfer £5 as I need that for living. So this could be why people aren’t transferring. And even those who earn well- my husbands an example- I don’t work- we have 1 salary , it all goes so he is perceived to earn well but when it has to go along way we don’t have spare cash.

We have a relatively small team (15 in total) and always do money sent to one person and then a gift bought. Not everyone sends the same amount or at all and that’s ok because we’re not all paid the same or have the same financial responsibilities or indeed the same relationship with the recipient. Everyone is allowed to sign the card though.

I’ve not read all of the comments so apologies if it has already been said.

get a second card, ask the people who gave you money to sign it, then stick it on the front of the present or inside the gift bag.

’There’s a gift and a card for your birthday, there is also another card from all of us in the office’

Love that.

I wish all workplaces would ban the practice of whip-rounds/collections for any occasion, other than retirement. A big card signed by everyone is fine, but no call for a gift. It’s tedious, people hate being asked for money, and who really gives a crap whether their work colleagues mark their birthday/wedding/new baby? These are all private life events, nothing to do with work. If some of your work colleagues are also your friends in your private life, let them mark it privately, same as your other family and friends.

Then there’s the popularity problem - everyone thinks young Kate in Reception is a right laugh and contributes to her collection, but poor old Jane in Accounts who just gets on with her work quietly gets overlooked because she doesn’t go to the pub on Fridays. The whole practice is rubbish.

I don't understand why anyone would want to sign a card for a special occasion / leaving & not contribute.
Some how or other I ended being the one at my last job, who would organise these collections. I used to buy a card & then ask people to contribute & sign if they wanted & then hand on to next person.
As it thought it would remove any awkwardness of me going to each person.
I stopped that way when times, I got back envelopes with loads of signatures & hardly any money. Both times I opted to put in extra myself so a half decent present / gift voucher could be bought.
Despite this, people would still be looking for a card to bought so they could contribute 🙄
The problem in our office was and maybe what's happening in yours, is that there are much people who are happy to just sign, assuming that most others will contribute. So not possible to do collections then.
I ended up just buying something small for my friends from myself. Though was funny when a person who I know never contributed but always signed, was put out when no collection was organised for him.
I do think that most people who don't contribute or sign, would prefer if there was no group collections/ cards.

No. I think you don’t know other’s financial situation and limiting names on a card isn’t necessary. It makes the card seem emptier/ colleague less appreciated and doesn’t incur further costs letting them sign it.

You wouldn't like me as a work colleague OP. I sign cards but hardly ever donate money.

Ha Ha.
Why would the recipient want to ?

When I left my last job, the value of what I was given made it apparent most (if not everyone) had contributed. I didn't want to know if Jane or Bob weren't able to contribute the month the collection was. Why would anyone want to know that ?

If it is a case that only 4 people out of 30 want to contribute,

*The value of the gift will make it clear that not everyone contributed and the five that paid can feel good about themselves in the knowledge that they were the more generous people. If any of these people want to be recognised for their generosity then perhaps they should give gifts individually?

Then perhaps this ^ would be the way forward.

Maybe there are two groups in general, people valuing the card more (and seeing a gift as an add on) and people valuing the gift more and seeing the card as an accompanying document.

I am in the first group. Not signing would be weird and petty, but I don't really care about the gift

I really dislike the idea of being forced to give money for a colleague's special occasion.

Everyone has different amounts of disposable incomes and it's inconsiderate to not allow people to sign a card if they can't afford to donate.

Taking away messages isn't really solving an issue, it's actually taking nice things (messages) away from the person who is having the occasion and penalizing those in worse financial situations.

Whenever I have received a card I have been very happy with all the messages and I assume only a small portion of people have contributed.

I love ALL pens. My Dad swears by the bicycle biro, will only use a BIC

When I’ve got a card at work (leaving/big birthday/engaged), the card has been my favourite gift because I feel surprised how many people make the effort to sign and it makes me feel warm/proud. I know they won’t have put into a collection but that I left any sort of impression on someone that I only speak to occasionally is lovely.

If people have to chip in to sign, you’d lose that.

Well, it's peed me off, I have to say.
I work in a school.
We have about six leaving.
If all gave a quid each, so £6 total (we are in double-figures teaching and support staff) then all six would get a decent amount.
Instead, people are signing and giving fuck all.

A colleague I am collecting for, four of us who are on paltry support staff wages have each given quite a lot as this colleague has done so damned much and means a lot to us...but higher paid colleagues have not put in at all. It does irk me as it just feels tight. Cost of living yes, but you cannot spare a quid when those on half your salary are subsidising it. Never again.

This

YANBU.

Put a gift card with the gift and write everyone's names on who contributed

people donate cash and if they want to donate online they ask the question
let people sign without donating.

I was amused. It was my favourite bit.