If you don’t contribute to the collection you shouldn’t sign the card

[fartfacenotfatface]

I was tasked with organising the office whip-round for a colleague’s special occasion. I shared my bank details on the office WhatsApp and popped a card and my favourite biro in the tea room.
30 people signed the card but only 5 have pinged me any money.
I don’t know why, but it’s bugging me. When we pass on the gift and card, the recipient will no doubt assume that most of the office have contributed when in reality only a small handful have. The cost of the gift is irrelevant here as one office member has been especially generous with their contribution so we can still buy a nice gift. I’ve not disclosed to anyone information about many people have contributed.

YABU - anyone can sign the card. It’s the thought that counts.
YANBU - you should only sign the card if you’ve contributed to the collection for the gift.

No

Get them a card or tell them so yourself.

I think if they don’t contribute then they can buy their own card. It otherwise looks like your trying to take credit where credit isn’t due.

If you have a large envelope with the card in and suggest a £2 donation you would probably find a lot more people contribute.

Buy another card for the people to sign who gave money. Give that card and the gift together.

Give the other card separately.

I’m with you. We are a small team and occasionally will do card/collection for special occasion and what I find is there’s always the same 2 people who never contribute.

i just let it go and as I tend to be the only person who organizes anything, I won’t for them if something comes up.

i don’t care if it’s petty.

But they aren't signing their name on a gift card, or a register of donors.

They are wishing the person well, in the card from all of their colleagues.

@greengreyblue - your experience is very different to mine. Putting in to a collection is optional (and anonymous - hence why many prefer cash). Separately, colleagues can choose to send their wishes in the card that is going from the team.

That's probably what they'd prefer. Have you ever asked? Before you waste energy feeling petty towards them

But how would the recipient know who contributed to the gift? A solution would be to have a card with the gift so a large gift tag and then a greetings card from all.

I hate doing collections for this very reason.

It also feels fake to me, you either like the person enough to donate or you don't, so don't pretend you do by signing the bloody card.

Before anyone says they may not have the money, in my experience it's the ones on higher salaries that do it more (and they think nothing of buying a couple of expensive coffees during the day).

This happened to me. 17 years of me putting I'm 20, for weddings, baby showers, first day back flowers, when it came to my turn, not the same love. I was able to weed out the bad, and learned never to put too much into something ever again!

They might send it to you a bit later? Was much easier when everyone had cash and you could ask them to sign at the same time and they’d hand you the money

Bank transfer probably putting people off. I couldn't give money as I don't have an online bank. Can you collect cash too. Re the card think what would the person want 30 people signing wishing them well or 3 or 4... I think they be upset if only 3 or 4 sign. I'd rethink how you collect money and avoid using your own bank account.

I've always enjoyed leaving card messages far more than random candles, plants, or whatever else has been bought. Everyone knows that not everyone gives, it really isn't the issue that you seem to think.

Which one is your favourite biro? How can anyone love a biro? Have you never tried a Uni-Ball micro rollerball? You'll look back on your favourite biro in shock that you ever loved it...

I gave when I could. I can’t at the moment because I have 2 children in childcare. When I say every penny is accounted for, I mean every penny. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about or appreciate my colleagues but we can barely afford to buy our own children presents (I budget £30 for their birthdays so I’m not extravagant). So putting £5 in is beyond us at this moment in time.

I'm on the fence, as I can see both sides, but ultimately, due to COL, I think YABU. It would be a shame (and rather miserable reading) if only 5 people (vs 30) wrote a message in the card due to a "pay per signature" approach.

I'm pleased that the company I work for don't do collections... instead, a Moonpig link is sent around for everyone to write a message for a card and a present is bought via company card/expenses (for big birthdays and special occasions like weddings, houses and babies). I realise that we're lucky/perhaps unusual, but it does save a lot of faff, plus saves those who can't afford to contribute from embarrassment.

Who shares their bank details on a work WA? Why be in a work WA group? Or, more pressingly, what is the point of a work WA group?

So buy your own card?

Wrap the gift with a separate gift tag and write the contributors’ names on that. Treat the card as representing a wider group who want to pass on their good wishes.

Who has a favourite biro?!

I have a 'lucky pen'!

Me. There’s not a cat in hell’s chance that I’d allow any of my colleagues to get their hands on it, however. And it’s not a biro either.

Isn't the end goal here to make the colleague feel special? So 30 people signing rather than 5 will make her feel special?

The important thing is the person leaving has well wishes from colleagues and everyone possible signing the card !

Personally I don’t think there should be collections at work. It’s awkward and just ends up going in a circle eventually. I never do collections when my staff leave - I get a card for everyone to sign and then I get the person a small gift