If you don’t contribute to the collection you shouldn’t sign the card

[fartfacenotfatface]

I was tasked with organising the office whip-round for a colleague’s special occasion. I shared my bank details on the office WhatsApp and popped a card and my favourite biro in the tea room.
30 people signed the card but only 5 have pinged me any money.
I don’t know why, but it’s bugging me. When we pass on the gift and card, the recipient will no doubt assume that most of the office have contributed when in reality only a small handful have. The cost of the gift is irrelevant here as one office member has been especially generous with their contribution so we can still buy a nice gift. I’ve not disclosed to anyone information about many people have contributed.

YABU - anyone can sign the card. It’s the thought that counts.
YANBU - you should only sign the card if you’ve contributed to the collection for the gift.

If collections were in cash at our place no one would get anything!

I don't think it's up to you to dictate who does what.

Maybe they can't afford it, you've no idea of their finances. Maybe they don't like the person, I don't know? But it's their choice.

Surely better for the person who the card is for, to have nice messages on.

I think that anyone should be able to sign the card.
Nor everyone can afford to or wants to give. Back in the day a card and envelope was circulated, you didn't know who put in and who didn't

It’s well known and accepted that you don’t sign the card unless you’ve contributed to the gift. Doesn’t matter if you’ve contributed a little or a lot. If you want to do your own thing then you get your own card. I’m 54 and worked in a few.l places and this is standard practice.

I see your point about why cash might have been better. Hardly anyone seems to have cash these days though so the bank ping option seemed easier.

The occasion is more significant than a birthday. A once / twice in a lifetime kind of thing. We don’t do collections for birthdays so it’s not a case of everyone being fed up of having to put their hand in their pocket but quite likely that everyone is feeling the pinch and would rather send nothing than worry about looking tight by only sending £1 or £2.

I’m 53 and have never heard this! But I’ve also never worked anywhere where it’s involved transferring money into a colleague’s private bank account.

I have cards from workplaces that I’ve kept for years because some of the messages were so lovely. I think they might have come with some chocolates or a pot plant that I quickly killed off, one came with a teapot that went straight to the charity shop. I definitely don’t think of a card as a register of donors, but as a way for people to share a message.

A card with 30 signatures on it is better than one with 15 on it.

Agree with others, you should have done one of the workplace online contribution platforms - much more transparent and easier as you can pay by card rather than have to log into online banking etc.

I wouldn’t just be transferring money to your bank account.

I recently did a collection for my colleague who was retiring. I got over a £100 in contributions so there was more than enough to buy nice gifts.

I sent round the card and some people got arsey with me because I ‘allowed’ people who didn’t contribute to still sign the card.

I think it’s petty to think that way and some people might not know the person a lot or might not be able to afford it - they can still give their good wishes.

My colleague had a lovely full card with lots of messages which made her happy.

Definitely better to receive more messages on a card, at our place everyone signs, only donates (cash) if you want to, I do if i knew/liked the person! As the organizer you can tell the colleague who paid for their present (if you want).

To me this sounds like hell. Both dp and I work in teams that send email cards for birthdays with no cost. I value the ability to contribute what I genuinely want to to a gift - I aim to give more than average because I'm older with more money, but also when a longstanding and beloved colleague leaves I want to give £30, whereas when Nasty the sour faced locum departs I might chuck in £3. I also think it's nice to see lots of names in a card when you go, even if the fund only runs to a bunch of daffs.

YABU I work in a department with 300 other people! I can’t afford to contribute to every single collection, but I’ll happily wish them well in a card.

Honestly i couldnt get worked up about this. I dont think it matters. Sometimes its just a faff and not a priority for people.

I liked it at one of my old workplaces. A card would go round the entire office on a birthday for everyone to sign but there would be no
collection. The only time an envelope for donations would go round would be a significant birthday or retirement and that happened about 4 times over 2.5 years.

In our individual teams, we normally did a separate card with the option to donate for a pressie but no pressure if money was tight. We also used to have really fun Secret Santa’s, I miss it all actually 😂 🎅

Cards are to share well wishes, they don't need to be connected to the present.
If it bothers you that much then make sure the present has a gift tag and sign it from those who gave it.

Agreed!
There are 600 people I my office when we're all in, of which I probably know 200 and wish them well when they have a birthday, get married, have a baby, pass an exam, retire etc

Go round with an envelope in future, op.
I wouldn’t send a bank transfer to a colleague’s personal bank a/c for another colleague’s birthday present.

This.

I work in a large department of 65 people and I don't even know some of them as they work in different offices or fully remote and I sometimes don't put into collections but if I'm asked to sign a card a may sign it. Should I not if I'm not contributing?

I think the answer is always to have a card for well-wishers to sign and a separate card attached to the gift which just those who've contributed to it can sign.

I think it is really mean to want to exclude someone from signing a card because they haven’t contributed to the gift. You don’t know the struggles that person may be going through. They may be trying to ensure their children have what they need, or they could be struggling to ensure their mortgage is paid.
I have done the collections for colleagues birthdays and I know how embarrassing it can be for a person to not be able to afford to contribute. Maybe have a little compassion towards others and know you have helped them rather than get arsey!

I can understand you expected more people to donate, but the situation wouldn't be any better if less people signed the card.

Yes this annoys me too. Doesn't happen too often but there is one person in particular who never contributes to anything and always signs the card. It's the same person who is first up to eat the treats that others bring in, but never brings in treats herself

It depends what would make the recipient happy. Some would enjoy messages more than a gift

Ugh what a loser!