Work colleague said she wants to s**g my husband

[HanJ25]

Work social last night. I’m currently on mat leave and was in the office for a keeping in touch day followed by a meal and drinks after.

I was driving as I’m still breast feeding and didn’t feel like having more than one drink.

Meal was lovely and a group of about 6/7 of us (all female) went to a bar after for drinks (I’d had a wine with my food so wasn’t drinking by this point).

One of my younger colleagues had clearly enjoyed a few drinks as she was turning the conversation quite sexual. No issue at this point, I’m not a prude and wasn’t really contributing to the discussion.

However, she then asked me whether I’m having much sex now I’m nearly 10 months post partum. I gave the briefest answer I could, that both of us being sleep deprived and getting to grips being new parents meant there wasn’t much ‘us’ time.

She then said something similar to - ‘I’d be all over your DH. I wouldn’t care if I was tired, I’d just lie on my back and take it from him, no need to do any work. If he got bored of that position then I’d just bend over, that can be relaxing too’

I was pretty speechless at this, and no one else said anything either apart from one colleague (also drunk) who laughed and said ‘he’s a bit of alright isn’t he’.

They have never even seen DH in person, he’s in some photos with me online but doesn’t have his own profile anywhere which he would update.

I left soon after and still feel really upset, I’m not the most confident as it is currently and they made me feel utter crap. I am dreading going back to work in a couple of months and seeing them to be honest.

She’s sound clueless and naive about having kids but hopefully harmless

id shrug it off, they had to much to drink and said some silly stuff.

Oh once sobriety hit's she'll have beer fear and mortification.
Have fun with it at a later date and watch her squirm.

Wooooow! No, I'd be a bit uncomfortable with that as well from work colleagues. My good friends and I are ok with discussing the shaggableness of our DHs but that's crossing a line.

Id chalk it up to drunken idiocy but I'd probably avoid socialising with her again.

You’re not unreasonable to feel upset, but you are being unreasonable to let it affect you so much! Your h is clearly attractive - but he’s married you, and he has a child with you.

Your colleagues envy you - so don’t let it make you feel crap.

Your colleagues were BVU to start such an unprofessional conversation with work colleagues. Bonkers. I bet she’s mortified today.

I don't think you should feel rubbish about this, they should be embarrassed about speaking like this.

I'd forget about it, and move on.

She was inappropriate, disrespectful to your relationship and, frankly, embarrassing in the way she spoke about your husband but I don’t see why it should have an effect on the way you’re feeling about yourself. And you certainly shouldn’t be dreading going back to work based on this. She embarrassed herself, not you!

Blimey what a vulgar and unprofessional thing to say to a work colleague. Or to anyone in fact.

She‘ll be mortified when she sobers up! If she isn’t, and blathers on like that again, just tell her that’s not something you care to discuss with her. He’s with you, not her!

And I agree with other posters, op: it’s not you that should be feeling ashamed or embarrassed here.

Oh once sobriety hit's she'll have beer fear and mortification
I bet she won't. Crude talk is common place now. It seems no shits are given to what they say. I know,I listen to an office full of it!

My DH always used to get the 'most fanciable' label, conversations didn't get sexual though!! I always shrugged it off to be honest, and it's just drunken banter

I know I shouldn’t let it play on my mind but I’m feeling hormonal as it is and worrying that I should be having sex more by now, and those comments just touched a nerve. Doesn’t help that she’s a pretty young women and I’m still carrying more weight than I’d like.

Ignore it. My DH is younger and very handsome, I frequently hear about other women wanting to ride him. They don’t get to though.

This is why I never have work colleagues on social media - I learned the hard way a long time ago (gender critical beliefs) and now keep my work and social lives entirely separate.

Your colleague sounds very young and will probably look back on this in years to come and cringe.

I’d be appalled. I know it’s nice to know your DH is considered to be eminently shaggable, but that’s just grim. It sounds like you’re feeling rather embarrassed and has got you worrying about your (entirely normal for a couple with a baby) love life. Don’t!

Don't be upset Op, obviously your DH is an attractive man and your co worker is a very bad drunk, bad as in once drunk she lets her mouth run away with her. If you're upset because she said you should be having more sex, don't be, that's between you and your DH, if you're both happy then her opinion is immaterial.

Why are you upset? I’d have had a right laugh about that loosen up OP

I had similar said to me about my husband by a colleague too. I remember feeling similar to you about it at the time. But now it’s 12 years on, we are still very much in love and have far more ‘us’ time as the kids have got older. I no longer work with that girl anymore and it no longer bothers me. I’m sure you are gorgeous too and your husband clearly loves you enough to have married you and had your little one with you. Speak to him and don’t let her comment spend any longer in your head than it deserves to.

I’d have wanted to reply with “don’t worry he wouldn’t touch you with somebody elses” but you did the dignified thing and ignored the rude cow.

Really awful
Drunkenly saying "hes a bit of alright" is one thing but what she said was completely unacceptable.

When I first started dating DH, I had a number of friends quite openly tell me they thought he was 'hot'. I took it as a compliment. But that's fairly mild compared to your colleague saying she'd let him 'bend her over'. That's massively overstepping and I'd be telling her to wind her neck in.

It’s a vulnerable time when you’re off on Mat leave. She was inappropriate and gross but I would turn it around in your head: your husband’s hot. That’s a good thing lol.

It will be them dreading seeing you when they realise what they said.

Honestly forget all about the pissed up comments from your colleagues. They are irrelevant. five years from now you probably won’t remember their names.

you and your husband chose each other. You’ve got a very young baby. The three of you are the only people you should worry about.

if you are feeling a bit vulnerable do try to talk to your husband and let him know how you are feeling. Not about the colleagues. About you. Give him a chance to reassure you.

From a man's side of things there are very few things that are off limits with "banter" between mates...their partner is definitely completely off limits. You can say she's nice, you get on with her etc, but do not ever NEVER ever say you would like to have sex with them.

She is beyond grim and I would just keep away...there's also no way any husband would stray with her because clearly she has no filter and would tell everyone.

I completely agree.

Having a bit of banter is fine but this was completely unacceptable.

You have nothing to feel ashamed or self conscious about.
The only person who should feel ashamed is her.

I would be keeping my distance from this woman as she obviously has huge boundary issues and perhaps likes to try and make other women feel jealous or self conscious.