WIBU to not provide cake at DC’s party?

[DeliciousWorm]

Feeling a bit nervous about this, but here goes… DC (turning 6) is having a small birthday party at home with a few school friends. We’re doing a couple of activities, pass the parcel, and I’ll be providing plenty of party food sandwiches, crisps, fruit, etc. However, I wasn’t planning to do a birthday cake.

I know it’s traditional, but DC isn’t that fussed about cake and never eats it when we go to other parties. I also hate the faff of cutting it up and dealing with the mess, plus I always feel a bit grim when the whole party coughs over it before blowing out the candles. I was thinking of just doing cupcakes or even sending the kids home with a small bag of sweets instead.

DH thinks this is a faux pas and that people will judge. I just think it’s unnecessary waste and hassle! WIBU? Does anyone actually care about the cake, or is it just one of those things we all do out of obligation?

Ever since I read (on Mumsnet for sure) about all the germs being spread all over the cake when a child blows on it, I can't think of anything else when I see it now 😂 I lived for over half a century in ignorant bliss. So, YANBU but I would have still provided one for my DC when young.

Kids expect cake and will be asking for it. Supermarket cupcakes are fine though, just do that.

Just arrange the cupcakes into the shape number of whatever age he will be.

I think some kind of treat like this is important but cupcakes are fine. We often did cookies or brownies as the dairy free options weren't really liked by some of the kids and we had great versions for both.

My youngest is 22 and cupcakes became quite a fashionable alternative when he was little.

They used to look lovely, arranged in the middle of the buffet on a cake stand.

Or just bung them on a tray, kids really don't care.

A child’s birthday party definitely needs candles and ‘Happy Birthday’ to be sung. You could stick the candles in a pile of sandwiches if you really want to avoid cake, but I wouldn’t miss out that step altogether.

I usually buy a cheap birthday cake from the supermarket, jusy to have a cake. It mostly gets squished or half ends up stale. The main reasom is the candle thing and my child likes cake. If your child doesnt like cake then why not have something they do like.

Cupcakes are fine. Maybe candle in DC’s to blow out for songing happy bday. Job done and only his germs on his cupcake which he’s not bothered about anyway.

We did cupcakes and made them in to the shape of a 6 for my daughter’s birthday. We put candles in 6 of them so she could still blow out the candles and SO much easier than cutting up cake! We had individual cupcake holders for all the kids to take home along with party bags and they went down a treat! Xx

Any cup cake or separate cake, bun, biscuit that each child gets is fine.

I’d still put candles on something - it’s the ritual of the singing of happy birthday by his friends, and blowing out the candles. A birthday party isn’t a birthday without candles and singing!

I also hate the faff of cutting it up and dealing with the mess, plus I always feel a bit grim when the whole party coughs over it before blowing out the candles.

It's really not that hard to cut up a cake!
Usually the cake is placed in front of the Birthday child to blow out the candles while the guests stand or sit around singing. I can't see how that turns into the whole party coughing over it. People have been blowing out the candles on their cakes since before dinosaurs roamed the earth - it's likely that the odd ingested germ helped our immune systems.

Cupcakes are a great idea, and you can have them bagged up in advance rather than the faff of slicing etc. I always felt that singing happy birthday acted as a signal to wind down the party, so I would definitely stick a number candle into one of them for the birthday DC to blow out.

Lots of brightly decorated cupcakes placed in a pyramid on a cardboard stand,with a 'Happy Birthday' topper placed on the very top one.Culpitt make lovely icing decorations in various themes/characters and there are so many kinds of cake sprinkles to choose from.As others have suggested,keep one cupcake back with a special Number candle on it for singing 'Happy Birthday'.

You need cake for the candles and singing happy birthday. Cupcakes are fine though

Do one of the tear and share cupcake cakes where they ice over a bunch of cupcakes and then you can just pull out individual cakes.

I agree with no candles, disgustingly unhygienic in post covid world. Kids are always carrying something or other.

Cupcakes to take home are fine. You can still sing happy birthday and have a candle in a cupcake if your DC would want that

Cup cakes is fine! My ds doesn't like cake so we buy iced ring doughnuts, stack them up and put candles in that. My niece hates being centre of attention so they skip the singing happy birthday entirely. Do whatever you like!

Cupcakes and pop an indoor firework fountain/sparkler in your sons for a grand entrance and round of happy birthday singing.

My kids are all about the cake on birthdays so I know they'd expect it or something similar. Cupcakes, brownies, doughnuts would work instead.

My DC went to a 6th birthday party last year where there was no cake.

It did not end well. Several of the attendees were really quite miffed, I know a couple had tantrums on the way home, and it produced some quite judgmental comments from parents. One boy still talks about it now, more than 12 months on.

I suspect the child's parents would regard it as a massive faux pas now.

Cupcakes are fine. Does your DC want a cake? What about caterpillar cake? They are easy enough.

Cup cakes in an individual box. I saw them in a BB party and I really like the idea.
No messy cake in a party bag I think is great.

Yeah, I was told that two attendees of dds party were crying on the way home when I forgot to do her cake 😳

And some of the parents that I didn’t know and couldn’t laugh it off with apparently made some shitty comments.

Cupcakes are fine. Stick a candle in one of them and sing happy birthday for the ceremonial aspect if you wish.

Just get a cake - don’t overthink it