WIBU to not provide cake at DC’s party?

[DeliciousWorm]

Feeling a bit nervous about this, but here goes… DC (turning 6) is having a small birthday party at home with a few school friends. We’re doing a couple of activities, pass the parcel, and I’ll be providing plenty of party food sandwiches, crisps, fruit, etc. However, I wasn’t planning to do a birthday cake.

I know it’s traditional, but DC isn’t that fussed about cake and never eats it when we go to other parties. I also hate the faff of cutting it up and dealing with the mess, plus I always feel a bit grim when the whole party coughs over it before blowing out the candles. I was thinking of just doing cupcakes or even sending the kids home with a small bag of sweets instead.

DH thinks this is a faux pas and that people will judge. I just think it’s unnecessary waste and hassle! WIBU? Does anyone actually care about the cake, or is it just one of those things we all do out of obligation?

Yanbu.

Back when children grew up without cake every day, they'd get excited about it. I know i did!
Now their diets are so rich anyway i don't think they care.

Birthday cake is a big part of a child’s party. It really doesn’t take much effort to buy a cake if you don’t want to bake one and wrap it up in a party napkin .

Cupcakes is fine, as long as your DC will be ok with not having candles to blow out (sounds like they’re not bothered). Definitely not a social faux pas, more about what’s important to your kid

Cupcakes are fine

I’d just stick some candles in the cupcakes, more for the ceremonial side of singing happy birthday and blowing them out!
But mine have always loved cake and I like making theirs and couldn’t imagine a kids birthday party without a cake (that’s me as an adult though, I’m not sure if kids would care as much!).

Can you put a candle in dc's cupcake to do the happy birthday/blow out the candle? Then just hand round a cup cake to each child, or put one in a party bag to take home.

How can he make a wish if there's no cake

Cupcakes are fine! I find if you get themed ones or sprinkles it’s actually more magical than a slab of squished cake 😂 You can always pop a candle in one of the cupcakes for singing.

Cupcakes are fine, or a brownie.

Can you just put 6 candles in one cup cake and give everyone else their own cup cake? I feel that getting up close to a fire ceremony is the main event for kids

It would be an unusual party without a birthday cake. My kids loved their birthday cakes and would definitely have noticed the absence of a birthday cake at any party they went to. Perhaps you could do birthday cupcakes instead as a less faffy option.

My kids always really liked the cake and being sung happy birthday to part of their parties. It was more about the special moment though rather than eating the cake. One rarely actually ate their cake but still definitely wanted one for the party. I think you're taking a rather adult, practical view of it rather than what it means to the birthday child and guests.

It's your DC's birthday though so it's upto them.

After Covid I put the candles in one cupcake for my DD to blow out and then gave out the rest! It worked fine.

A big cake isn't necessary

We have a none cake eater here who likes blowing out candles. So don’t do traditional cake for them. It’s their party so it’s about their preferences.

We do a chocolate biscuit cake or Mars Krispies decorated as a cake so they can have the experience of blowing out candles.

Also I did find my child’s friends expected a birthday cake but were happy with our alternative.

I think it will be odd without a cake and candles , it’s not that much of an effort. If you’re not cake eaters take it into work or something. Someone will eat it.

We do cheap cupcakes in the shape of the number ( sprinkle smarties / sweats on top ) and then give each child a cupcake there and then

it’s cheap and no cutting , no tin foil in party bags

singing happy birthday is a big deal you want that video ! kids blow and cough in the cake only the kids eat it

We've been to lots of parties that have done cupcakes instead of a big cake, I don't see the problem. Also went to a party that did a donut tower instead of a cake, kids loved it.

Cupcakes a great idea. It’s gross the whole blowing out of candles, what if saliva from blowing gets on the cake to then be ingested by someone else 🤢 vom

Cupcakes are a good idea but I would have something with candles on so they can be blown out

Cupcakes are a cake!

you could also do ice cream if your kid would prefer.

I think you don't need to do a full on birthday cake. I'd do something to blow out candles and sing happy birthday to though. I did my DS a stack of brownies and decorated with strawberries and ferrero rocher which went down well (and leftovers went in the freezer for packed lunches!) but you could do an arrangement or stack of anything sweet or cupcakes would be lovely too. A stack of doughnuts? (fairly cheap at Lidl bakery).

Kids are always excited about the cake - especially singing Happy Birthday and blowing out the candles.

Nobody ever eats the icing on the shop bought cake, but I think for 8 quid you could make the effort, darken the room, bring cake in lit up

She's 6 not 16.

If it’s any consolation, I completely forgot to do the birthday cake, or even sing happy birthday at my daughters last birthday party. She was 4.

I only realised after everyone had gone and I walked into the kitchen to see the cake sitting on the side.

Everyone noticed by the way. I text the parents I knew after and thankfully, the ones who I knew already knew I am a dick and the ones I didn’t know, discovered it that day. Highly embarrassing but my 4 year old didn’t notice at all, we had it when I remembered. To be fair, we had 20 kids and a parent each in the house, it was hectic and not even my friends remembered to remind me or dh.

Could you not just have a 'stunt cake'. So a generic cake that you put candles on and blow them out and then it doesn't have to be eaten.

It's just that cake + candles + singing Happy Birthday + blowing out = end of party, off you trot now.'

So you could have birthday tea. Finish with ice-cream. Then, as parents arrive for pick-up, cake is brought out.
Everyone sings, claps, pre-packed party bags (no cake) are handed out, and off they toddle.

The kids won’t leave if there’s no cake! They’ll be waiting for it!