To think visiting the US is justifiable in these circumstances?

[AnnaQuayInTheUk]

Lots of my friends are, like me, very anti Trump and all he stands for. Some of us were having a discussion the other evening about boycotting US products and not visiting the US whilst Trump is in power.

We are planning a visit to the US later this year. It's not yet booked and lots of my friends were trying to persuade me not to go.

However, they are all aware that the reason we are going is to see my Father in Law. He is 93 and, whilst currently in good health, that might not be the case for much longer. We haven't seen him for 3 years. He is almost totally deaf so DH can't have conversations with him over the phone. He doesn't use Facetime or any video calling services so we can't actually see him.

DH is an only child and really wants to see his dad. One of my good friends told me that she thought that, even given the circumstances, we should stand on our principles and not go. Another friend was more sympathetic initially but then said she thought it was hypocritical to criticise Trump and then visit America.

AIBU to think that it's justifiable to go to the USA given the reason?

Family wins over ideology every time, and if someone’s too pig-headed to see that, their opinion shouldn’t concern you.

Ask your friends if their hate for Trump overrides their love for their family?

Would they really not see someone they love one last time due to standing by their morals about politics?

I hate Trump with a passion, but you are right to go and visit your FIL.

So as a Canuck I would say this. Under no circumstances would I go to the US now and find it abhorrent that people think it’s okay to holiday there right now (especially for selfish reasons).

BUT

Your situation is different. It is for family and an elderly father so go. No judgement from me as I know how hard it is to live abroad from immediate family.

I do want to say, thank you for considering it and thinking about your travel but go and have a great time.

Your friends are talking shit. Of course you should go. Trump might be a dick but America is still a fab place to go on holiday, and more importantly, given the circumstances in your case, it would be stupid not to go.

Honestly, I would go. I personally feel that I don't want to give up on my good friends so I will keep on travelling. I certainly would put family first, not even a question. I have been very vocal against this administration so will be cautious with my devices (horrible thing to even have to say) but human connections are more important and punishing friends and families by isolating them is not going to help anyone resist the toxic tide.
I will just make sure that I don't buy anything from brands that support MAGA. That's one thing I can do. If budget allows, I'll also buy Canadian!

Those aren’t friends. You don’t have to justify yourself going to the US for any reason. It’s virtue signalling crap.

No one else’s business. Go see your FIL.

This 👆🏻

Stupid to even think otherwise when it comes to family.

I won’t be going on holiday to the US for the next 4 years but I don’t have family there. In your circumstances I would definitely go as planned

Get better friends.
Ones that would not throw their family under a bus to prove a political point.

Oh we will definitely go. I was just taken aback at the strength of feeling about not visiting the US. We wouldn't be going if it wasn't for my FIL being there. If we waited until the end of Trumps presidency FIL might be dead. He is getting more tired as he ages - we were last there 3 years ago and it was clear he and his wife were good for a couple of hours and then just wanted a nap!

They live in a very red neck area, loads of Trump supporters around them, but we will just have to grit our teeth.

We are British American. And desperate to go. But honestly we won’t be right now, not with them detaining innocent people for a month. Yes my dh and children have American passports and are citizens but doesn’t seem to matter to the us government right now. I don’t think it’s a safe time to travel there right now.

Your friends are ridiculous. You’re not visiting the states, you’re visiting your FIL who happens to be in the states.

But but but... you're not 'visiting America', you're going to see a very elderly man who may not have many chances left to see his own only child.

I'd really question the sanity humanity of someone who'd let their political ideals override something like that. Although, of course, it's very easy to be prescriptive about someone else's situation...

Go and see your 93 yr old FIL, or let your DH go on his own with your kids while you stay back. FIL could die at any time. imagine the resentment your partner will feel for you if your views on one man prevent him having that reunion. c49% of Americans didn't vote for Trump.

I agree that it’s not safe to visit at the moment as @Chipsahoy outlines. But your reason for going is sound and your business.

Ultimately “having principles” is about taking a stand for or against something even if it personally inconveniences or causes hurt to you; not just standing for or against something for as long as it remains easy and convenient to do. If your approach is the latter, you can’t really say you have principles.

But not visiting the US because you disagree with Trump’s politics is a daft principle in the first place, it’s just all people paying lip service to their echo chamber. Go, and don’t even bother with “friends” who want to have their say.

So your friend puts politics above family.
She sounds nice

Of course you should go! I won’t be travelling for leisure there for a while but I’ll definitely still be going for work trips (and won’t think twice about it) - just make sure you’re following the news in case things somehow get worse/more dangerous for travellers.

Obviously go, if only because it's a family issue.

For anything else, no - whilst I'm sure some folks will think I'm virtue signalling 😂I do think that if you do have a choice you should take your money elsewhere at the moment. I feel sad in saying this as many US citizens are disgusted with what's happening too, but the fact remains that the USA can no longer be trusted.

Some of us were having a discussion the other evening about boycotting US products

Hope none of these friends are using Apple, Meta, Google, X, Amazon etc then! Guarantee they’re also being hypocrites 😆 enjoy your time with FIL.

It's not my view. I'm very clear that we should go. But a few of my friends obviously think differently.

With your circumstances I would go. It’s not a holiday, it’s a family visit.

I think that's a bit unfair. Yes, there are plenty of people who say one thing and do another, but in reality many people are concerned about what is happening at the moment and are trying to find a way to respond. You are right in as much as nobody will know or care if you stop using US-based digital services, but if in-person goods and services to the US begin to suffer due to boycotts - as is happening with Canada/US trade - then a clear message is being sent.

That's really interesting. We are British, as is FIL. I think the chances of being detained are small although maybe I should delete the anti Trump memes from my social media before I fly