To think visiting the US is justifiable in these circumstances?

[AnnaQuayInTheUk]

Lots of my friends are, like me, very anti Trump and all he stands for. Some of us were having a discussion the other evening about boycotting US products and not visiting the US whilst Trump is in power.

We are planning a visit to the US later this year. It's not yet booked and lots of my friends were trying to persuade me not to go.

However, they are all aware that the reason we are going is to see my Father in Law. He is 93 and, whilst currently in good health, that might not be the case for much longer. We haven't seen him for 3 years. He is almost totally deaf so DH can't have conversations with him over the phone. He doesn't use Facetime or any video calling services so we can't actually see him.

DH is an only child and really wants to see his dad. One of my good friends told me that she thought that, even given the circumstances, we should stand on our principles and not go. Another friend was more sympathetic initially but then said she thought it was hypocritical to criticise Trump and then visit America.

AIBU to think that it's justifiable to go to the USA given the reason?

No it’s not that black and white. You do what you can to boycott and buy (in my case Canadian) other countries products.

I don't think Trump's going to personally seize you at the airport, if that's what you're worried about.

I also think that if I decided not to visit any country the policies of whose government I disagreed with, I wouldn't have gone on some of the best trips I've had over the past decade.

China. South Africa. Poland (love that place). Romania. Hungary. Slovakia. US. Albania. The list goes on....

I think both sides of the argument are fair. A boycott is pointless if you allow exceptions, yet the circumstances are such that it's reasonable to decide your boycott is ended. The important thing is you realise it's a binary either/or thing, you can't go back to boycotting after folding on it.

But that's fine, that's your choice. It just means you put your family above your ideals and above millions of people you don't know and will never know. That's human nature, there's nothing unusual about it.

Yeah I wouldn’t be that confident or sure. I know many who have had a tough time at the border and please remember to do your estas in plenty of time!

The reality is that many people, like your friends, will espouse how they’re making sacrifices like choosing not to go to Disneyworld on holiday next year, not eating at McDonalds, not buying from Amazon, changing their iPhone for a non-US brand when they upgrade in two years’ time. Because all that shit is really easy to do and easy to crow about on your socials.

Nobody is actually, if they found themselves in the situation, going to do the stuff which has an impact on their own lives like refuse to visit a dying parent on principle because they live in the US; or resign from their job on principle because they work for a US company with a pro-Republican CEO; or turn down a huge money promotion because it will require US business travel. Your friends just aren’t in the position you and DH are right now so don’t have to put their principles where their mouths are.

You don't need to justify your decisions to anyone.

Firstly, family is more important than politics.

Secondly, have none of your friends ever visited China, or Russia, or Dubai, or any of the countless other countries with appalling abuses of human rights? Have they consistently avoided buying anything made in those countries?

Buying Chinese-made products and judging a friend for visiting the USA would be outrageously hypocritical.

But even if they've been perfect in where they've visited and bought products from, visiting a parent should rightly be a very high priority.

It's definitely not a holiday. PIL live in a very small town in a rural area. The only town/city of a decent size is a 2 hour drive away. We have to stay in the only local hotel which is ok but basic without any outside space.

No art galleries, museums etc to spend time in and heavily forested so we can do some walking but no views because there are too many trees. It's really not great.

I have every intention of visiting my American family this year despite my enormous misgivings about the current administration. I understand if others feel differently.

Your friends are brain-dead. Same as the leftie woke brigade.

I would really like to know how many of these people (not people on this thread but just general) boycotting visiting the States were actually, realistically going to go in the next four years anyway! It’s very easy to say you’re not going to go somewhere if you actually had no intention to! I know that’s not everyone but I’m sure it’s a significant percentage.

I think your reasoning is sound and your friends should respect that, family comes before politics.

However from a safety point of view and if you’re as anti-Trump as you say, I wouldn’t be setting foot over there. An ESTA means nothing now, they have the ‘right’ to search your phone and are counting any anti-Trump rhetoric as terrorism and using that to, at best, deny entry and turn you around, at worst, detain you. For me unfortunately family does not come before personal safety. I’m sure there are precautions you can take and urge you to look into what they might be, and of course this madness might have passed by the time you go and they realise the effect it’s having on tourism.

Family situation not a holiday, so I’d say go. However, if I found out FIL was one who voted Trump I’d think again.

You are visiting an elderly relative of course you should go and see him . Just make sure you wipe any "anti" references from social media before you apply for your visa

Yes, and I think that most people on here think it's entirely justifiable for you to visit in your PIL's circumstances. However, your post has also given people (another) opportunity to vent their grief and frustration with what is being done to the USA and its citizens. It's very sad indeed.

Luckily FIL isn't an American citizen so doesn't have a vote! I think if he had, then he might have been tempted in 2016. Luckily his wife is a die hard Democrat but keeps quiet as they are surrounded by MAGA types.

Oh for fucks sake. I’ve got no time for shit like that. Go where you want. If anyone I knew had a problem with it I’d laugh at them.

I couldn’t give a shit about what’s going on in other countries, I’ve got enough problems in my own life.

Go, but definitely sort out your social media first.

@Mydogisamassivetwat I am concerned. But I'm still going to go.

Oh we will definitely go. I was just taken aback at the strength of feeling about not visiting the US

IME it's mostly virtue signalling, OP; if someone offered them an all expenses paid trip there I can almost guarantee they'd be off like a shot

It's not as if Trump's going to stomp up their drive, and believe it or not most Americans are just getting on with their lives as they always have - though never try telling that to the shroud wavers

Here’s a stat from the Independent…

Canadians, the most common international visitors to the U.S., have stopped coming to the country. in droves. Last month, visits by car from Canada to the U.S. plummeted by 23 percent compared to February 2024, Statistics Canada data shows. Similarly, U.S. car trips to Canada decreased by 7.9 percent from the year prior.

Flight Centre Canada spokesperson Amra Durakovic said interest in U.S. travel began to wane in November. That trend saw explosive growth in February, with leisure travel bookings to the U.S. plunging 40 per cent year over year.6 Mar 2025

https://globalnews.ca

Yeah people are cancelling. Bear in mind lots of people live extremely close to the border and go back and forth for work so it won’t stop totally.

I know many many many Canadians who will NOT travel to the US right now.

So while a reasonable question I have infer if you ask this to make a point that people are just virtue signaling when clearly they aren’t.

Good. What’s going on somewhere else in the world or what your friends think isn’t your problem.

Your friends are insane.

Stop letting yourself be influenced by their virtue signalling crap

Honestly I don’t see why they would even consider it being an issue, especially in your circumstances.

I’ve got holidays booked to the US this year, I’m still going. I enjoy the places and people in general, love the cities and things to do - that doesn’t change for me depending who is in the White House.

Yes I'd go in your circumstances but I'd make sure all your phones and tablets were clean of any anti-Trump posts as we know people are being detained for this.

I am not going on a long planned holiday to meet up with friends while all this crap is going on.